No Norman Rockwell Painting...

[Alpheratz]

There’s a Norman Rockwell painting of an old sea captain, bent
over, baggy pants, his hand on his grandson’s or great grandson’s
shoulder, looking out over the ocean from a bluff, likely telling
the boy of the adventures he’s had out there.

That ain’t me.

When I get real old I want to wear baggy checkered double-knit
bell-bottoms that are too short and show off my yellow socks and
purple slippers. They will fit loose in my butt because I won’t have any ass-cheeks left.

I want to wear chartreuse shirts and big round glasses and
cackle when I laugh and walk with a spring in my step and think
I am so so dapper with the ladies.

I want to tell kids to pull my finger and give them a quarter
when they do.

I want to leer and ogle at the young chicks and grope up their
dresses and wheeze out a nasty laugh when they get mad.

I want to fart a lot and make snide comments like “Sounds like
a flock of geese is flyin’ over again.” Or “Geez, do farts have
lumps in ‘em?”

I want to wander around the house in baggy shorts and wonder what I was supposed to do next.

I want to drive a Buick at twenty miles an hour everywhere I go
and grin at drivers who pass me in a huff.

I want to break into old songs that bore hell out of everybody
whenever there’s an audience, and tell really stupid dirty jokes
and have all of the women go “Harrumph!”

I want to be a geezer.

That’s what I want to be when I grow up.

 

[minsue]

Great imagery.

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

Alpheratz dreams big.

Rumple Foreskin

 

[Owlwhisper]

.....

 

[entitled]

Beans, beans, how great thou art.
The more you eat the more you fart.
The more you fart the better you feel,
So let's have beans with every meal.

 

[Owlwhisper]

.....

 

[entitled]

If I could vote on that I'd give it a big 5er. Say, was that a truck I just heard backfiring?

i thought it was a shotgun.

Oh, you meant yours?