No, no, don't worship Me, I'm an Imposter; I'm just asking for a little feedback

[Gawd]

I can't believe it, people aren't flocking to Me. Maybe Oral Roberts was a bad idea after all.

Seriously. I just had my story posted last night and I can't tell if it's doing any good or not. What do you think?

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=42828

 

[Belilica]

Gawd,

At the beginning, the story jumps a bit in time and place which is a little confusing to me. At one moment she's in the classroom, at another, in his office. I had to go back to check to see where she was.

Interesting idea, but it kind of lacked in plot, which I like in a story. I think maybe it needed a bit more character development. I like to know why they are fucking, and not just that they are.

Hope this wasnt too harsh! Keep writing though, practice makes perfect!

-Bel

 

[p_p_man]

Sorry Gawd...

but I need more than that to classify it as a story.

It would probably fit into a "My Experience Last Summer" or something for a magazine piece. But a few paragraphs of sex don't a story make...

And what was the equation in the first place?

Not for me, but keep on going.

<<throws a log on the old camp fire>> Kinda reminds me of when Ah wrote muh first storee. Never could unnerstan' why the folks din' laik it...