No Compliments

My man isn't big on flattery for its own sake.... he rarely compliments me just because it seems right.
When he does, however, it's from somewhere deep inside and he absolutely means it.
Interestingly, he shows me how he feels rather than tells me... doing little things that he knows I appreciate, without telling me he's done it.

I don't have an issue with it... I am secure enough in myself to know that he's with me because he WANTS to be, not because of any other reason.
I never go fishing for compliments, like some women who ask 'How do I look?' or 'Is this ok?'


Glad to hear you and your man are in a good place.

Do you believe if a woman were to ask her man, "how do I look?" She is insecure?
 
Glad to hear you and your man are in a good place.

Do you believe if a woman were to ask her man, "how do I look?" She is insecure?

I didn't say it was wrong in any way, I said I was secure enough in myself that I personally don't need to hear the response.
If some people need it, fine.
I don't.
 
I see you point. Makes sense...but seems more like a safety net. Do your expectations remain the same for casual relationships as for committed relationships? I'm thinking the level of expectations would raise for someone you have deeper feelings for or have high values for?

well being married, i don't really cultivate too many casual relationships these days :)

but actions have always meant more to me than words, whether the relationship was long term or just a frat party hookup. don't *tell* me i mean something to you, give me a card or bake me a cake.
 
I didn't say it was wrong in any way, I said I was secure enough in myself that I personally don't need to hear the response.
If some people need it, fine.
I don't.

yeah, this.
for me, too :)

wq's wisdom is deep, and true
 
I didn't say it was wrong in any way, I said I was secure enough in myself that I personally don't need to hear the response.
If some people need it, fine.
I don't.

There is a huge difference between need and want. You don't need a compliment to survive....so its you don't want a compliment?
 
well being married, i don't really cultivate too many casual relationships these days :)

but actions have always meant more to me than words, whether the relationship was long term or just a frat party hookup. don't *tell* me i mean something to you, give me a card or bake me a cake.

Same, only without the card and cake.
My man does things to show me he cares.... like if I have to go somewhere without him, he will go out and check the car to make sure it's safe (tyre pressures, etc) because he wants me to come home safely to him.
Or he will go through my pot cupboard and tighten any loose handles.
Or he will bring me coffee in bed in the morning because I haven't had a lie-in for weeks.
Stuff like that.

He doesn't tell me he's doing it, he just does it because he cares.
THAT'S complimenting me.
 
well being married, i don't really cultivate too many casual relationships these days :)

but actions have always meant more to me than words, whether the relationship was long term or just a frat party hookup. don't *tell* me i mean something to you, give me a card or bake me a cake.

That I can agree with. I believe the older one gets the more they put things into perspective. Of course it becomes more important where actions carry more validation. For arguments sake....if tou got married 10 years ago do you then say there is no need to tell your wife she's beautiful because you validated she was beautiful when you married her 10 years ago?
 
This website is a black hole. Not only is escape impossible, but any intelligent thought is reduced to a singularity. This is my Hotel California.

You pass judgment on it but continue to be knee deep in it....what does this say about you...lol
 
Yes deserving....I feel ones feelings and desires should be expressed and not restrained. Why hold it back...why not release it?
no, you said looks deserve compliments, not that genuine desires deserve expression. so, if compliment giving does not come naturally to a person, you feel your looks should obligate them to force an unnatural behaviour in order to pander to your desires.

totally different thing.
 
That I can agree with. I believe the older one gets the more they put things into perspective. Of course it becomes more important where actions carry more validation. For arguments sake....if tou got married 10 years ago do you then say there is no need to tell your wife she's beautiful because you validated she was beautiful when you married her 10 years ago?

regardless of time, my actions wouldn't change, nor would my expectations.

this man says it better than i ever could
 
Really compliments don't validate you....then how do you know your man is happy to be with you because you are a great woman?

They validate your judgment. When a woman says I am a handsome and desirable, it shows her to be a person of high intelligence and discernment.

A man has to have some way to filter the crowd.
 
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