Newspaper personal ads and safety issues

[Etoile]

My local alternative weekly newspaper's personals department has a section called None of the Above for "alternative lifestyle" personals. (This is separate from their M4M and W4W categories.) The "None of the Above" section usually has a good mix of fetishists, swingers, and BDSM situations.

Here's some examples of BDSM ads:

ISO SBF FOR mild humiliation and some domination. I am a SWM and a novice submissive and sometimes switch. Looking for fun, stimulation, and mutual enjoyment. No money exchanged, just mutual enjoyment.

MASTERFUL, EXPERIENCED MALE. Middle-aged, mainstream, prof., 6ft., 175lbs., seeks attractive woman with a submissive side. I enjoy being in charge and ruling the relationship. I am also a good listener and have a very gentle, caring side, but can apply discipline when appropriate.

DOM. BR SOUGHT by novice submissive WM, 43y.o., 6ft., 180lbs., red hair. Looking for exploratory, safe, mental and physical domination and training by an experienced gay, bi or straight, fit BM dom. Eager to learn, serve and please with limits. Respected and expanded.

Has anybody ever placed or responded to something like this? I assume that as with all personals there would be a meeting in a public place first, but how can you really trust someone you meet through the newspaper? There are other ways to meet tops/bottoms, of course, but I'm specifically wondering about the safety of ads like these, where all you have is a little box number to reply to.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Guess it is the same as any anonymous meeting....safety first and foremost and then more safety. In my experience with internet, I had many who tried to insist on meeting as soon as they emailed for the first time, some even telling me they now owned me.....those were 2 reasons for striking them off the list immediately. Have to remember the number of rapes, murder cases, and serial killers, who have used these two forums for meeting victims.

Did meet a vanilla through newspaper many years ago and though it didn't work out, it was safe enough. Same rules apply as internet...safe calls; get to know them as well as you can before hand, public meeting, and I found casually mentioning from time to time you talk to people about your connection with your personal ad person, internet or paper, saw a few disappear immediately which always spoke volumes to me.

Catalina

 

[Trainerman]

I have actually had r/l meetings with people that I originally met on the net. As has been said, this is little different from meeting through newspaper ads.

I very much agree with ..and emphasise..the points made by catalina_francisco. Meet in public, listen to your instincts...mention that someone else is aware of where you are/who with and so on. Have many public meetings........why not? If someone tries to hurry you into an intimate situation then I would regard that alone as a 'caution' signal and act accordingly.

All of the above is even more critical when potentially being alone with someone who is (or says he is) a Dom. Many people who call themselves thus do not have the faintest idea about what they are doing. It is in this situation that a safe call system is an absolute MUST. A genuine "Dom" will NOT mind this ! So set up such a system and USE IT !

Good luck

Dave

 

[SilkVelvet]

Personal safety (UK)

FOR THE UK.. anti-stalker measures..go to www.192.com and do a search for yourself on the Electoral Roll Register - you can do it on the freebie bit - and if you find yourself (it doesn't cover every county) get in touch with them and ask them to remove you. Also if you sign up you will get an email notification if someone does a search on you, I believe.

You can also use it with a real name and place name to search for the person him/herself of course

Ask why if s/he switches off mobile phone, because those registered with the phone provider and monthly billed are traceable. The phone checks back with phone provider regularly giving geographical location and this can be used to place someone in a particular location at a certain time.

Check with an IP Locator such as http://www.geobytes.com/lpLocator.htm?GetLocation that your PC is not giving out info which could make you more traceable.

Make sure your landline is Ex-Directory and Permanently Withheld but don't assume that your phone number cannot be captured by someone else. Many household phones CAN log incoming numbers despite this. Contact your phone service provider immediately if you get any weird/nuisance calls as they can be traced and the person prosecuted just for that. Usually you can get your phone number changed free of charge too.

Get some Real Life info from him/her which cannot easily be changed for example office/workplace address and phone number. Give that to your safecall person.

Basically.. Think Safe !

 

[catalina_francisco]

Is also worth remembering that many vanilla men think female subs make either easy targets, or are willling to submit sexually to anyone....in other words as Dave said some may call themselves Dom without any knowledge or good intent.

All that being said, I am happy I met Master through the internet and will soon be celebrating our first wedding anniversary, marking the beginning of our happiest period of our lives to date.

catalina

 

[SilkVelvet]

happy First Wedding Anniversary to Catalina and Francisco !!

 

[catalina_francisco]

happy First Wedding Anniversary to Catalina and Francisco !!

Thank you...though maybe I was misleading in how close...23 August is the magic moment.

Catalina