Newbies

[chris9]

chris9 - a breath of fresh air! it is possible I could have come to the board at a bad time, but being that one person involved in a dispute was a moderator doesn't make it any better. I guess moderators should be held to a higher standard then others, and should not resort to name calling ect In my opinion. As for the other threads, once again yes we have the right to freedom of speech, but damn I see the world with rose colored glasses and honestly believe, threads dedicated to making fun of others is completely inappropriate. Once again in my own opinion.

And yes I will not read nor participate in threads of that nature.

aphrodite - my favorite!! so you know where I live eh??? I am like you , I also do not post if I am having any form of cynical day, usually brought on by PMS. I am a firm beleiver that name calling and making fun of people at anothers expense shows your true personality, and that is not me, normally, but add in nasty PMS and I can be a bear. So I avoid it all!!!

Well folks, this has been interesting to say the least, from what I have gathered, most are upset that I painted with such a broad brush, and I did apologize for this. But only a couple seemed annoyed by the grammar police and the "make fun at others expense" threads, and the your a fake threads.
Aww tis life

I tend to see the world (online and off) in a good light, too, expect people to respect each other, treat others as they wish to be treated, things like that. I believe many here feel the same.
I did read Catalina's answers (the very first) to slavewife as being kind and helping. In my perception her help wasn't accepted, maybe misunderstood, she tried again, and then both just kept going in a not too nice cycle. So far I found that Catalina helps newbies find their way around, answers threads that nobody else answers with a sort of dry, not so cuddly wisdom. Might be seen as condescending, always depends on the reader.
As to not posting when you feel bad: Many around are friends. They will post things with each other especially when feeling down, as you would meet with your friends in RL. And I believe that is an important thing, too. So over some time it's noticable how people post when feeling great, then with health problems, separation, loss of friends/family how their posts change. And once I noticed that I found it easier to forgive some harsher than usual posts about something that could maybe insult or hurt a newbie. Not nice, but human.

I feel like you are comparing apples to oranges by saying that people are upset because you were saying that we all here were unfriendly/unwelcoming/close-minded and saying that noone seemed annoyed by those threads. Those who don't like these threads will just ignore them like you will, no need to vent about them. But painting everybody in a negative light seems different to me.

I'm glad to hear that you are planning on sticking around, and I hope that your opinion of everyone involved in creating your bad first impression will improve.

 

[Kajira Callista]

Slight hijack....



<wrapping myself completely in pink plastic wrap, placing bow stratigically>

Happy Anniversary Sir...i have a present for you...

 

[Kajira Callista]

ok now i finished the thread. hmmm lots of ppl on lots of forums arent nice. i dont often let that get at me. sometimes it does, but mostly it doesnt stop me from stating my opinion etc. im not always nice myself and yes at times my moods do have an effect on my niceness level in my posts. i think it just makes us human *shrug*

 

[graceanne]

graceanne - Your right you have never attacked me, smiles, i am sure many other people have left here, however, I think I will stick around for awhile. I wonder tho, those people you attacked on collarme, that you think is a joke, I wonder how they feel?

Have you even looked at the thread? Oh, you haven't so you don't know what you're talking about. But that doesn't surprise me. One guy pasted a tigers face over a mans body, and then put that up on his profile. He was obviously poking fun at himself. Period. If you can't find humor in that, then that's your problem. Maybe you should laugh more and judge less.

Beyond that, you've been here for less than a month. And all of a sudden you think you should be accepted? I don't know how you do things, but it doesn't matter where you go, you will never be accepted in just weeks. Acceptance takes time, and the longer you're in a place the more accepted you will be. Period. That's the way it is in life. I've been here a year, and I'm only now beginning to feel accepted, and then only by some. Cause some people rub the other person the wrong way, and it's nothing personal.

 

[Netzach]

Have you even looked at the thread? Oh, you haven't so you don't know what you're talking about. But that doesn't surprise me. One guy pasted a tigers face over a mans body, and then put that up on his profile. He was obviously poking fun at himself. Period. If you can't find humor in that, then that's your problem. Maybe you should laugh more and judge less.

I just remembered something from being like, 11 or 12. Laughing at weird personal ads in the back of the Village Voice was pretty much how I discovered BDSM.

 

[graceanne]

It just occured to me, that for someone who's so worried about us attacking others and 'being mean', you sure don't have any problem with attacking the members of this board, do you? I love how that works. You have a different standard than the rest of us, I guess.

 

[catalina_francisco]

LOL, Starla, for someone who is loudly proclaiming her desire for non-judgementalism as you see it, I would have to say you take the cake in that department for the whole time I have been a member of this board. BTW, do you recall when you introduced yourself and mentioned you were disabled and asked if anyone else here was?.....let me refresh your memory as to my response to you:

"Welcome and you might find these threads of interest; BDSM, D/s and Disabilites People with Disabilities ....there are also a few others on varying topics including how mental illness affects D/s and also PMS. Enjoy the board....it is a great community with some really cool people.

Catalina "

As I recall I was the only one who answered you on this query and gave you links to discussions on the board about BDSM and disability....and gee...never got any response from you, not even a simple thank you. And you call us rude?!!


Now to moderating and moderating style. Personally in my private and professional life I never place myself above anyone else, so to start to act as if I am once I was asked to be moderator (hmmm, funny thing was I was told that was one of the qualities that the person nominated me for the position on) would be a little alien to me, not to mention hypocritical. I suspect from the judgements you have handed down is such a short time no less, your view of how we need heavier moderating, and that a moderator should be seen to be higher than the rest, it would suit your perfectly..but it is not Lit's preferred model I'm happy to say.

Now back to moderating, Lit prefers less moderating as opposed to more which you seem to think would be better....if it had insisted on more, slavewife would have had her pics removed immediately, especially as she did not use the one in contention for the innocent purpose she claimed to have....not to mention she found it necessary to put on her site for whatever reason she thought might give her some one upness....certainly a strange thing to do if you don't like someone huh....be guaranteed, unless she causes me more problems she won't be on my site.

Now to address people's moods and their right to post at that time. This once again comes under freedom of speech, community mindedness and empathy for others. Most of us here can pick when another is having a bad day and will either check on the board or through PM to see if there is anything they can do to help, or just be there to talk or let the other vent to. I also know of more than one person who is alive today because they were able to come here at a bad moment and find some support or just ramble as opposed to ending it all.....on the whole people here do not cross a line which makes their bad times unaccceptable to the rest because most of us have been there and have reasonable manners.

Though it did not influence my posts this week, you might find it of interest to know it was the first anniversary of my father's suicide (and not being able to be with my family at this time), compacted by my being ill, normal responsibilites within my relationships and life, and a heat wave which I thought I left behind when I moved here but seems I was not as successful in doing as I would like....so all in all I think it might have been understandable under the circumstances if I had gone a little over the top but given the baiting I put up with, I think I managed ok.

As others have pointed out, this is one of the nicer boards in the land of cyberspace but if it does not fit your requirements no-one is going to force you to stay...most of us are only interested in consensual participation. If you do stay and make friends here I daresay you will find it a valueable asset in your life, but that is your choice to make, not ours, and does not require us all changing to fit your requirements and ideal.

Catalina

 

[starla{TDM}]

why thank you catalain for your kind words.




Now you have a good day.


starla{TDM}
forever His

 

[snowy ciara]

gee this was fun!!



snowy ciara - petty, next thing you know you will be pulling my wheelchair out from under me hahaha and as for the trolls, please tell me, who is god and decides who is and who isnt a troll? And as stated numerous times on this thread, why does it matter *it* *is* *just* the internet. Oh and I do not think anywhere did I state that anyone was worthless.




starla{TDM}
Forever His

I never threatened you, as you intimated with the pulling the wheelchair comment. I don't tease, harass or assault people who are disabled. However, people who get judgemental and demand that I subscribe to their view of our shared world, condemn me and my community with impunity, and also without all of the facts annoy the heck out of me. I also tend to get annoyed at close minded little chits (No, I'm not using that as a euphemism for any scatological function, I am using that word as it's original meaning, "a child, or a saucy or bratty young woman".)

As I recall, I was one of the ones who welcomed you.

I never said that you said we were worthless. I said, that you appeared to think we were not worthwhile. I suggest you check out a dictionary and learn the difference between the two before you again start putting words in my mouth.

Which brings me to your troll comment.

Why the hell did you post your little rant? You should have known that it would cause an uproar. Did you honestly think we were going to sit there and take it? Again, it looks like you were raising a ruckus for the sake of raising a ruckus. This, along with putting words in someone else's mouth, as well as intimating that someone would harm poor little old you out of the blue, are troll behaviors.

However, I'm always willing to admit I was wrong. I was wrong to welcome you to the boards so quickly, but what the heck, I was feeling friendly that night. Usually, I wait a bit to see if the person's trollish. I was also wrong in joining in your little cyber soap opera, as I had realized that you were a bit trollish. I usually don't feed the trolls, I usually just assist in hijacking their threads to hell and gone. Next time you see me here, that's what I'm going to do.

 

[graceanne]

Hey, snow imp. Wanna cookie? I just bought them. It's too hot to make them.

 

[chris9]

Hey, snow imp. Wanna cookie? I just bought them. It's too hot to make them.

Yay, cookie party!

*bashes eyelashes prettily*
Dear Graceanne, my I have a cookie, too?

 

[graceanne]

Yay, cookie party!

*bashes eyelashes prettily*
Dear Graceanne, my I have a cookie, too?

Weeeeeeellllllll, I suppose. You've been such a good boy! *gives cookie to chris*

 

[chris9]

Weeeeeeellllllll, I suppose. You've been such a good boy! *gives cookie to chris*

Girl.
Thank you!

 

[catalina_francisco]

Girl.
Thank you!

LOL, that's what I thought, then I figured I might have gotten it wrong!!

Catalina

 

[graceanne]

Girl.
Thank you!

Shit. Here, another cookie cause I screwed up. And another.

 

[chris9]

Shit. Here, another cookie cause I screwed up. And another.

Yay, well if that's not worth it! Screw up again! Please?

 

[graceanne]

Yay, well if that's not worth it! Screw up again! Please?

Nope. I try to make it a habit not to screw up in print. If it's not in print you can't prove I did it.

 

[chris9]

Nope. I try to make it a habit not to screw up in print. If it's not in print you can't prove I did it.

Well, I'm just learning how to make you pay for it anyways, HAHAHA. (I study the law, so hopefully when I'm done I'm so good at it that I always win...)

 

[graceanne]

Well, I'm just learning how to make you pay for it anyways, HAHAHA. (I study the law, so hopefully when I'm done I'm so good at it that I always win...)

Well, unless it's in writing, it's on tape, or someone else heard me it's your word against mine. And sometimes all those things are thrown out too. And as I tell everyone - I'm almost always right. It's one of my more annoying charactaristics (and one I try not to point out when I'm tied down.) lol

 

[chris9]

Well, unless it's in writing, it's on tape, or someone else heard me it's your word against mine. And sometimes all those things are thrown out too. And as I tell everyone - I'm almost always right. It's one of my more annoying charactaristics (and one I try not to point out when I'm tied down.) lol

Of course you're right there. I'm just learning about some laws that reverse the proof thing. Usually you have to prove what's good for you, but if these laws apply, you can just say what's good for you and then the other one has to prove you wrong, prove that it wasn't their fault. And then if it's still my word against your word, I win.

 

[starla{TDM}]

Why snowy dear, thank you so much for your kind words. I am honored to be labeled a troll by such a fine outstanding person such as yourself.


now hun you be sure to have a good day

starla{TDM}

 

[Kajira Callista]

lol is this 7th grade or something?

 

[Sir_Winston54]

lol is this 7th grade or something?

4th, I think.

 

[Kajira Callista]

4th, I think.

ooooooooooo then i can do pigtails

 

[Sir_Winston54]

ooooooooooo then i can do pigtails

And plaid skirt and white blouse and socks and ... shhhh! undies? <Perv-perk>