Newbie's Introduction

[Stepandfetchit]

It was pointed out to me, by another writer, I should introduce myself, so here goes;

I’m fifty something. I live in North Eastern Connecticut, and do stone work; walls, fireplaces, a chapel, etc.

I’ve been writing for five years, give or take a couple. Keeping track of time is not one of my strong points.

I’ve tried writing G rated stories but so far, I’ve got files stuffed to the rafters with erotica, (some of which is actually finished), and zero stories that little Sally could read. I guess I’m just a dirty old man at heart.

I submitted my first story last Sunday. Still waiting for it to be posted.

I never wrote an introduction before. Did I do it right? Did I leave anything out? Was I relevant? Did I put anybody to sleep?

So hello all. Glad to have found Literotica.

Step

 

[Guest]

Hi there Step!

I was worried that the answers in your Nipple Clamp thread might've scared you off.

Great introduction, btw. It's good to hear some background info. Stone work, eh? Good on you! That kind of thing is a bit of a dying trade, at least here in the UK.

Nice to 'meet' you, stick around and throw yourself in.

Lou

 

[Stepandfetchit]

Thanks the previous tip, Lou. I probably should have said that sooner. Anyway, here’s how the paragraph finally came out. I’m almost embarrassed to say, I originally used clothespins instead of clamps. Another big OUCH! I think.

Some kind of weird clamps; probably for her nipples, or clit, or something. I had a better way of torturing those little suckers; with teeth, and lips, and tongue. There’s more than one way to skin a cat, or heat a pussy to sizzling.

Step

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

Step,

Make yourself at home. This place will take damn near anybody, as my continued presence here proves. I guess it's up to me to give you the quick down-and-dirty newbie survival lecture

You were skating on thin ice in your introduction when you mentioned how long it's been since you submitted your first story. DO NOT, under any circumstance, ask "the question." It is the most common one posed by newbies and has to do with the expected interval between story submission and posting.

Again, DO NOT ask "the question." If you're so foolish as to ignore my warning, a short, fiesty blonde named MathGirl will quickly give you the answer. DO NOT ask how.

Also, it's best to refrain from employing the first four letters of a certain nodic Valkyre's name as a handy short handle. DO NOT ask what will happen.

KillerMuffin is always right.

The same applies for Weird Harold.

Perdita will comfort you, or is that confound you? I never can keep those straight. Of course sometimes it's a two-in-one deal.

There's a mess of UK-types hanging around here. Consider yourself warned.

Let us know when your story gets posted so our supportive crew can make fun of it and hurl insults.

Last of all--ignore any blatter coming from your fellow aging boomer, Rumple Foreskin.

Rumple Foreskin

 

[Wills]

Hi Step

That was easy enough. Now watch this fill up during the day as people add their bit. Don't forget to keep posting, - thanks, disgust, whatever. It will keep the thread alive.

Interesting background, nice to know what people do.

Take care and enjoy.

Will's

 

[damppanties]

Oh wow! You actually did a real intro!! How quaint!

originally posted by Stepandfetchit
I never wrote an introduction before. Did I do it right? Did I leave anything out? Was I relevant? Did I put anybody to sleep?

Well, you left out your knowledge (or ignorance) about garderobes. And sheep. You have to mention what you know of them. Cowboys would be a bonus.

You'll get an AV (the pic under your name) when you are 100 posts old. And the virgin tag will disappear somewhere after 30.

That's all I remember.

Oh. And welcome.

 

[Dirt Man]

Welcome to the nut house..

Hello Step, any relation to the actor? They call me the Dirt Man, as I am the proverbial dirty old man, and I enjoy being one. I use to be a professional sailor, a First Class Pilot of the Great Lakes. But since going on disability have turned to writing both legitamately, and in the erotic vein as a hobby. There's plenty of coffee, donuts, and pastry in the lounge, help yourself during fits of writer's block. If your up for a stiff drink, I'm afraid you'll have to bring your own. There are sandwiches, but you have to go home for dinner to get reaquainted with the wife, kids, mistress, etc. But if you ever need help, just post a new thread, and we'll all try to give you as much useless information as you can absorb.

As a side bar to Rumple's warning, be aware that there are snerts, and snoots around here, and they just love down voting a good story as well as a bad one. Also learn to take all feedback for your stories with a grain of salt, or ketsup. You can learn from feedback, but you are the author of your own work. Again, welcome to Literotica.

As Always
I Am the
Dirt Man

 

[English Lady]

I see you found your way over here Stepandfetchit! i saw your post on the how to forum

thanks for introducing yourself.....my only advice is don't take things to seriously here....we're all a bit....erm quirky and well it's best just to humour us

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

I see you found your way over here Stepandfetchit! i saw your post on the how to forum

thanks for introducing yourself.....my only advice is don't take things to seriously here....we're all a bit....erm quirky and well it's best just to humour us

Watch it, fair English Lady. Are you implying that AH irregulars such as Wills, TateLou, damppanties, Dirt Man, and little old moi, are ONLY a bit quirky?

Oh boy. Just wait 'til Pop, Gauche, raphy, and the Great Og come breezing in.

Rumple Foreskin

 

[Icingsugar]

Howdy.

/Ice

 

[TheEarl]

Welcome Step. Glad you found us. Come right in, fatten yourself up. We don't bite (hard).

The Earl

 

[dr_mabeuse]

A rock star, huh?

Well, it's customary to send little cash gifts to the regulars here when you introduce yourself, but we'll waive that for you.

Look forward to reading your stuff.

---dr.M.

 

[TheEarl]

A rock star, huh?

Well, it's customary to send little cash gifts to the regulars here when you introduce yourself, but we'll waive that for you.

Look forward to reading your stuff.

---dr.M.

Dr M will just accept a small contribution from your groupie collection instead .

The Earl

 

[Stepandfetchit]

I don’t know nothin’ ‘bout no sheep.

“Baa!”

“Shush, someone’ll hear ya.”

 

[whispering_surrender]

I don’t know nothin’ ‘bout no sheep.

“Baa!”

“Shush, someone’ll hear ya.”

That's twice I've choked on coffee this morning. Definitely time for work!

Whisper

Ps. Oh, yes and a welcoming hug from me too. *hug*

 

[English Lady]

*LOL* rumple...well i was trying to be tactfull..

We all know the inmates here are niuttier than your average fruitcake!

 

[Mhari]

Howdy, and welcome.

Don't worry about the sheep; we're used to seeing them around here!

I just realized that I never actually introduced myself. I didn't realize that was how it was Done. Oh well!

 

[Guest]

 

[McKenna]

.

 

[MathGirl]

Yo
MG

 

[Guest]

 

[whispering_surrender]

*gasp, drool, fans self*

Rhino, is that you?!?

Whisper

 

[Guest]

 

[Wills]

Tatelou is gonna regret that Dog's Xmas party

Whoop's I did it again.

Will's

 

[gauchecritic]

Step,

and kick

and side-together, side-together

That's how you, do the Connecticut bop!

Eyup.

Gauche