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[leslie36256]

My girlfriend and I have been involved for about 2 and half years now (our realtionship isn't based on sex, but its nice). About a year and half ago she also got a boyfriend. And over the time while she was at college before I started myself, her boyfriend made her not like sex like she used to. In August, I started college with her and our sex life hasn't been great. When ever I'm horny she's not and since her boyfriend made her not like sex like she used to she isn't easily to get into the mood. She I usually have to get myself off. But her boyfriend, her, and I have had threesomes before. And here recently have I began to think that she only wants to have something sexually to do with me when it involves a threesome. I would love some one on one action, again, that I didn't have to push. I can't remember the last time that it was just the two of us. I was wondering if anyone could suggest something that I could do or somehow I could talk to her about this? She is my world. I love her soooooo much so I don't want to do anything or say anything that is going to hurt her. Can anyone help me?

 

[Willing and Unsure]

take everything you just said here in this post and tell her. If she's your girlfriend and she cares for you as much as you say, you should be able to have this conversation wtih her (in a non-bedroom setting) and find out what is really going on.

Keep in mind too, that stress may also have a factor in a lowered sex drive.

 

[SweetErika]

I agree...you need to talk with her about your feelings. I'd avoid any 'you' or accusatory statements.

I find the idea that her bf made her not like sex very curious. Also, have you done the threesomes because you really want to, or just to please and get sex from her? What has she been doing recently to show you she feels the same about you sexually and relationship-wise?

Welcome!

 

[GRIFFBABY]

Just tell her how you feel. It is very possible that she doesn't want anything sexually with you beyond threesomes. However, don't be accusatory and don't allow anger to cloud your discussion otherwise it is pointless.

 

[silverwhisper]

i think erika's question about her boyfriend "making her not like sex like she used to" is a significant one.

ed

 

[Ravin the Poet]

My girlfriend and I have been involved for about 2 and half years now (our realtionship isn't based on sex, but its nice). About a year and half ago she also got a boyfriend.

Umm, does anyone else notice this. I just want to make sure it's not a type-o. You have been dating for 2 1/2 years, and a year and a half ago she got a boyfriend. So by logic on this one, she was cheating or took a break. I'm just confused.

Anyways, talking to her helps, but maybe asking her what she find romantic, or gets her in a wonderful mood can help. Maybe it's not trying to win her over in bed, but win her over in the mind first. From what I have learned here, you make a women feel like she is a goddess (which from a guys view is so much fun to do) you will get the right mood.

Ravin

 

[SweetErika]

Umm, does anyone else notice this. I just want to make sure it's not a type-o. You have been dating for 2 1/2 years, and a year and a half ago she got a boyfriend. So by logic on this one, she was cheating or took a break. I'm just confused.

I noticed, but it's possible Leslie and the girlfriend agreed it was alright to date others. However, if they haven't done a good job communicating about it, I don't doubt it's contributed to the current problems.

 

[leslie36256]

Thanks for all the comments. I should had said that we are both bi-sexual and have to agree that dating guys is fine. And I am not the jealous type because that's just not me. I honest to god do not care about sex; I could go forever and not have it. But it just bothers me that I'm only called into the "bedroom setting" when a threesome is wanted. Most of the time I just go along with it so I can be close to her. The comment about winning her mind over--well there isn't much need of that because we were friends at first for oh about 5 years--we know each others mind very well.

More on the whole situation: Shortly after her and her boyfriend got together they started fighting. He would say that she was cheating on him (when she really wasn't) and say that she was only with him for the sex. So after their fights, she felt like he would just give her sex to shut her up. So she stop wanting it and now when he wants sex, she tells him to stop or something to that effect. But she hasn't came straight out with him and told him that she doesn't like sex anymore because of him.

 

[silverwhisper]

leslie: sorry to say but she's w/ a jerk and until that changes, there probably isn't much hope of change.

ed

 

[flawed_ethics]

Odds-on-favorite is that he's an ass. Until your girlfirend drops him, both of your problems will continue (the problem is him, after all).

The other chance is that you're being played by both. Given your sincerity, it's more likey that the problem is he's the ass. I hope for your sake they're both not playing you.

And if I may throw my two cents in, don't let the dude have a three-way with the two of you. If he's already a jerk, he's going to think 'I must be doing something right to be getting it from two chicks'. He's just going to go on being a jerk then, and receive even more encouragement from his buddies by bragging that he has two sluts who want his cock (not that your sluts, but that's how the picture will be painted. Believe me).

I'm not trying to rant or hijack, but I just feel it's important to get that out there.

Good luck.

 

[BerksMartin43]

Get together

Delete

 

[leslie36256]

Yes he is a jerk and yes he is an asshole! As soon as I can see my girlfriend, I am going do some talking. And once again, thanks for all the comments.

 

[BerksMartin43]

Delete

 

[silverwhisper]

i've been wondering the same.

ed

 

[BerksMartin43]

Deleted