newbie questions?

[Chayned]

Hey there people!

Im fairly new to the board, and have tried searching for the answers to my questions, but theres just so much information, it gets impossible!

Im a submissive 22 year old. Im still fairly new to the scene but its interested me for as long as i can remember.
I have real-life experience with two Dom(me)'s, one male (current bf), and one female, but i enjoy it more that anything else. It seems to make everything else pale in comparison.

However, Im new to the online side of BDSM, and was wondering what it entails? My current Dom has asked me to find out about it, as he is also fairly new to the scene. He's interested in finding out how other Dom(me)s treat their subs.
How do you go about finding an online Dom(me)?
Has any Dom(me) out there ever shared a sub with another?
Does it work?

Oh yeah, could someone tell me the differences between a Dom/sub and a Master/slave relationship? Or point me in the right direction?

 

[MissTaken]

HI there, Chayned.

Welcome to the forum.

Are you interested in finding someone on line who will later meet you in real life, or are you interested in being Dominated on line?

 

[Chayned]

Thanks MissTaken

Probably just someone online.
I live in Ireland, so meeting up could be awkward.
I'm sure it would be lots of fun if it was possible though *sigh*

 

[MissTaken]

Well, you can post an ad at the personals forum, here at lit.

There are other personals sites out there, where you might find someone who is interested in On line play. Chat rooms such as can be found on IRC, MSN and aol can be fun to meet others who can't or aren't interested in real time Domination.

There are many views concerning the difference between Dom/me and sub versus Master and slave relationships. Have you looked through the BDSM library at the top of the page?

In any event, I am sure your thread will invoke some interesting discussion.

Best wishes,
MissT

 

[Chayned]

Thank You again MissT... its nice to be made feel so welcome!

I hope it does provoke some interesting discussion, im looking forward to it!

 

[Goddess Helena]

Welcome to lit, Chayned!

At the top of this page is a sticky library thread. I think you will find a great deal of information in it.

Good luck in your search.


Helena

 

[SexyChele]

Hello and welcome, Chayned!

As stated, the library at the top of the forum is a good place to start for some clarifications.

I was involved in an online Dom/sub relationship, of sorts. Neither of us were very serious about it, but we both had fun while it lasted and we are still friends to this day.

My general advice would be to be very careful about online domination. There are some Doms who are willing to engage in this type of relationship and it can be very worthwhile. And then there are the players who just want to know they are putting you through hoops. Screen carefully and try to get to know them before submitting to them. In other words, you want to avoid the "I met him on Tuesday and by Thursday he was my Master and had complete control over me" syndrome. If a Dom is worth his word, he will take things slowly and get to know you first, as well as allow you to get to know him.

Good luck!

 

[sub princess]

Trust your instincts.

Hello and welcome, Chayned!

As stated, the library at the top of the forum is a good place to start for some clarifications.

I was involved in an online Dom/sub relationship, of sorts. Neither of us were very serious about it, but we both had fun while it lasted and we are still friends to this day.

My general advice would be to be very careful about online domination. There are some Doms who are willing to engage in this type of relationship and it can be very worthwhile. And then there are the players who just want to know they are putting you through hoops. Screen carefully and try to get to know them before submitting to them. In other words, you want to avoid the "I met him on Tuesday and by Thursday he was my Master and had complete control over me" syndrome. If a Dom is worth his word, he will take things slowly and get to know you first, as well as allow you to get to know him.

Good luck!

Excellent advice SexyChele! I too started out in an online relationship, the guy was a total wack job. In the first five minutes he demanded I call him Master or Sir, I chose Sir out of respect, but he didn't like my choice. Over the next few days he wanted such info as my SS#, bank accounts, and my every move throughout the day. Over time he made many unrealistic demands of me, and eventually demanded that I fly to see him right away, or else he would be at my door by morning to "claim me." Needless to say he was blocked immediately, and I came to realize that he was just playing his own game, trying to see how far I would go to amuse him. He never once asked about my personal feelings, my fantasies or limits. He told me endless lies about training subs and slaves, and the more I learned, the less credible he became.

Over time I learned to separate the serious Dom/mes from the wanna-be's, and also to always trust my instincts. IMHO respect is not something that should be demanded, it is earned, and any real Dom/me will expect and understand this, especially from someone so new (which I still very much am) to D/s.

s.p.

 

[AnelizeDarkEyes]

Hi Chayned. Welcome to Lit. Please make use of our wonderful Library Thread. There is an entire SECTION on online experiences (scroll down in the page I linked you to). As far as my own experiences go, they are mostly limited to AOL Chat, when I was first discovering this lifestyle. One thing I learned VERY quickly....

I didn't like online D/s.

Everyone's different, but for me it's real time or no time. I have a long-distance, every now and then, skin-to-skin D/s relationship now. At times it's very frustrating. But I'll still take that over online anyday.

Good luck in your endeavors.

~anelize

 

[Richard49]

If you are lookiing for an online Dom
(and not sure why since you seem to have a RT one)

I would watch the posts here
see who stricks you the right way

Contact them and see where things go

That is my thoughts
but what do I know ?

 

[Chayned]

Thanks everyone

Firstly i'd like to thank everyone who replyed or pm'ed. I've spent a very informative morning reading, when i should have been report writing *grins* Any excuse!

I do see what you mean about on line Dom/mes... i logged in to a few chatrooms, and all i got was "D'ya wanna cyber?" within a minute of chat *yawns*

Annelize, i dont know if i'll like it either, i do prefer a more hands on experience so far, but im willing to be proved otherwise.

Richard, i am not the one pushing this idea. Dont get me wrong, im definitely up for it, but i am quite happy with my real life one.
He, on the other hand, wants me to experience it... im not quite sure why, but it sounds like fun so im experimenting. Isn't that what life is all about?

I know that if i do find an online Dom/me, s/he and my boyfriend will also be in contact with each other. Preferably, we are looking for an experienced descriptive Dom, who will show both of us the ropes (no pun intended!)

And if we dont find what were looking for then we'll just have to have fun on our own...

 

[lancemanyon]

Thanks MissTaken

Probably just someone online.
I live in Ireland, so meeting up could be awkward.
I'm sure it would be lots of fun if it was possible though *sigh*

Lucky for you that you live in Ireland. Although, I wouldn't rule out the possibility of someone in your locale contacting you directly as a result of your postings here. Be careful. There are predators among this bunch.

 

[lark sparrow]

Lucky for you that you live in Ireland. Although, I wouldn't rule out the possibility of someone in your locale contacting you directly as a result of your postings here. Be careful. There are predators among this bunch.

Ready to be lanced?

 

[MissTaken]

Lucky for you that you live in Ireland. Although, I wouldn't rule out the possibility of someone in your locale contacting you directly as a result of your postings here. Be careful. There are predators among this bunch.

There are likely to be predators everywhere you go on the net and in real life.

For some insight on how to use caution and recognize them, check out the "Online Predator" article in the sticky.

It is due to be updated and modified in my free time, but for now, if you weed through the gender bias, you will get a feel for what to watch out for.