Newbie - Once again - Writings in the first person

[CherishXTC]

I am new to this site - although not new to writing at all. I am curious as to how many people like to read stories written in the first person. I tend to write all of my stories as the way that I see them in my mind at the time. Therefore, when my readers read my work - it is me seeing what I see myself doing to them or with them.

Just wanted some feedback as to whether or not - you -the readers enjoy it in the first person.

I have submitted several stories (12) , most of which are still pending - and all are in the first person.

The two that are posted so far are "One hot summer night" and Seduction from Dusk till Dawn".

Thanks for your input .....

 

[KillerMuffin]

That's not first person. That's second person and you'll probably not get much a response to it. I must admit that you've done second person very well, but the fact is, it's second person. Unless second person is fabulously outstanding, people don't generally respond well to it. Generally

There are problems with second person, here's a brief list:

It has a distinctly amatuerish feel to it. Most people start off by writing second person because they are talking to themselves and their fantasy person. It's very comfortable. The quality of writing is usually a bit less than later efforts. Most people click in, find the pov is "you" and then back click for something else.

It alienates most of your audience. Yep, use the word you and suddenly half your audience no longer matters because they are the wrong gender. Then you get into more specifics, like description. Well, if the reader doesn't match the description, then the reader no longer identifies with "you" and is out of there. Then there is no way you can put "you" in a situation where "you" has to react or behave in some way, like in sex, and match "you" to a good cross-section of the reading population. People will think, "I'd never do that, I'm outta here."

You're competing with about 13,000 other stories for a reader's time. Readers can afford to be discriminating here. I would suggest that you take your stories to first person. Don't speak to "you" at all, just write down your fantasies as if they're happening to you, not to you and your nebulous reader. You may think you're sharing with the reader, but in reality, you're only sharing with the reader that matches the profile of "you" that you've built in your fantasy. The other hundreds of thousands of us usually move on.

Please bear in mind that this is not a critique of your writing. I disliked your stories because I have no cock, I'm not a man, and I really don't like it when I have to take the male role in sex. I didn't get very far past the opening paragraphs. I didn't read enough of what you wrote to form an opinion on your writing.

 

[Marxist]

I totally agree with the KILLER

The only time I've enjoyed second person was when a girlfriend wrote me a letter telling me what she would do to me if we got back together.

Maybe one day I'll post that note on Lit. And yes we got back together.

The main reason second person doesn't work is that it's a very unusual perspective. Think about how many television shows are in 2nd person. None. Some shows have had episodes or moments like "Law and Order" where they sometimes shoot over the shoulder of a suspect or cop on the run, but that's not really 2nd person. 2nd person doesn't inform, it is a mystery why anyone would write in it. Although I'm working on a story where the character has a super extended dialogue that narrates a good bit of the story. It'll be part 3 of my "Satyr" cycle. Maybe this is the solution to the tedium of 2nd person.

 

[ericlove]

It isn't that difficult to post a link to your story(ies) if you really want us to read them. I can not be bothered making every search on my own. There are too many stories to go looking through the site..

 

[CherishXTC]

Links to the stories

Here are the links to the two stories that are posted so far.

Thank you to those who responded back. Perhaps I will work on re-writing some of my work - not in "second" person.





http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=26622

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=26616

 

[Rrrosyn]

The second narrative

Just finished a piece myself done in the second narrative. I expect litle respone. I wrote it as a challenge to myself.

I prefer the first person narrative. In the third person narrative I have a problem keeping it all in one character's head or dividing it out evenly among all of them.

 

[RussH]

I fully agree with Killer Muffin. Stories in the 2nd person only get a click in, then a quick click out.

I'm not much of a writer, but have been a voracious reader for most of my 62 years. So, while I cannot tell anyone how to write, I am very qualified to tell you how a story READS.

1st - Story line. Got to be believable.
2nd - Characters. Same as above. Not many 10+" cocks out there.
3rd - GRAMMER! GRAMMER! GRAMMER!
4th - Spelling! And words like 'there', 'their' and 'they're'. (forget what they are called - Senior moment)

I guess it can be summed up into Readability, and believability. (there, now I've told you how to write)

Finally, all please keep on writing. There are many of us 'readers' here who really appreciate the work you are doing. Keep 'em coming!

RussH

 

[CherishXTC]

I just want to add that I truly appreciate all of you who have chosen to give me feedback -whether positive or negative.

Two more of my stories have been added today .... if you do like the way that I write - here are the links to those.

Thanks again.


Seduction from Dusk Till Dawn Day 2
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=26617

Keeper of unlocked Desires Day 1
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=26623