newbie: ideas for sub partner

[georgeoralwell]

first time contributing to a forum, here goes...
my partner enjoys being submissive: not in a big way, and we've not taken it very far - she calls me master during sex and likes me to use her - do anything to her that I want for my own pleasure. She loves sucking my cock, it turns her on more than anything, and what starting as me edging and giving her a little cum has developed into her enjoying the full load.

I'm wanting to move it on a level. If found some ideas that would definitely work here (http://www.xeromag.com/fvbdsm_scenarios.html). I'm wanting to get her a collar, but wondering if thats a too big a step. Also thinking of the remote control vibrator.

The problem I've got with any of this stuff is finding a way to introduce it. We usually have small window for sex (busy busy)

I've got this scenario in my head, was going to ask for advice on it here, but its explicit and couldn't find anything like it in this forum.

So in the meantime any advice on how to get a lightly sub lady to get into doing what she's told outside of that usual window of sex, and whether those toys I mentioned would go down well.

 

[BiBunny]

Normally, I'd tell you to come up with your own damn ideas, but you've worded this so politely that I'll see if I can help. Plus, you seem to have actually done some research, rather than expecting us to spoon-feed you. So yay for you!

I think if you introduced the collar as a part of a series of restraints--say, a collar and cuffs combo or something--it wouldn't be a huge deal. You can just use it as a play device instead of a "ZOMG, I'm collaring you, and now you're MY SLAVE FOREVER!!1!!11!!!" thing, at least to start with.

I'm personally not a fan of the remote control vibrator, but that may just be me. The ones I've tried don't vibrate hard enough to make a lot of difference, which kinda sucks for the price.

Assuming you haven't already, you'll probably want to talk to her about doing "submissive" things outside of sex. But if she's game, then you can start with something easy, like asking for a specific thing for dinner or asking her to wear something you particularly like seeing on her.

If you've already thought of all this shit on your own, I'm sorry, LOL.

(Also, just an aside, Xeromag is Franklin Veaux's site, and it's got a lot of great info for people interested in polyamory. I know this has nothing to do with the OP, but just in case anyone was wondering.)

 

[georgeoralwell]

theres not much sub about her outside the bedroom. Which is probably why it appeals inside.

thanks bit bunny, and hey isn't exchange of ideas what forums are about? I'm asking this politely as a newbie. I mean isn't this the perfect place to think to iron out the kinks?

 

[georgeoralwell]

oops double post

 

[georgeoralwell]

oh fuckit heres the scenario - hot or not?


I start by sucking her clit and licking her to get the ball rolling and also so I
can kiss her (shes sometimes hesitant about her own pussy juice). I tell her I
want her to get used to the taste because she'll be getting a lot of it today. I
get her to suck my cock and wait till I know she's getting really turned on, then
I get her to sit on me, then lick and suck her pussy juice from my cock. I do
this a few times, until I put a little cum inside her. I might reward her with
some pussy play or vibrator, until I fully come inside her, then get her to lick
my cock clean. (she's not really done this yet but I think she's ready). Theres 2
possible endings to this scenario, one of which would be allowing her to cum with
a vibrator whilst she's still sucking me, preferably till I come again in her mouth.

 

[SweetApple8]

Playfully Withhold What She Loves

.....if she's not a good girl. Your cum.

Then as time progresses, be a little less playful each time. Let it progress from there.

Good luck.

 

[georgeoralwell]

she is a good girl

I think I might try the collar

 

[georgeoralwell]

Well I did. I was a bit nervous about it, but she took to it very well.

Just reading around this forum was a huge help. We talked about some if it. Realised that I don't want it to be a lifestyle thing (does that make us top/bottom? Still picking up the lingo.) but she loved everything we discussed from here and that link in the first post. The sex was sizzling. Thanks literotica we've got a fun filled few months ahead