Sir_Winston54
Assume the position!
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Can one infer from this statement that you didn't tell him before you got together that you have trouble reaching orgasm?
Newbbie
- Thread starter SAXXEYPHONE
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Stella_Omega
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One can be careful with one's emoticons, please. I doubt anyone set out to heinously lie to someone they love.Can one infer from this statement that you didn't tell him before you got together that you have trouble reaching orgasm?
Remember, very very few people were taught to speak about sexual matters before, say 1995, and the numbers who do are still mighty small overall. And few people even now, know how to discuss the ramifications of those matters.
It might have been him lying about how he felt, and only just now expressing frustration. Or, he might have totally believed that if he wished hard enough...
SAXXEYPHONE
Virgin
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No, he knew that I had a problem due to background that I would have a problem. I reached internal w/ him now I am looking to reach everything else with him. Clitoral and what not. I cant reach clitoral with him. he cant do oral.
midwestyankee
Literotica Guru
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Unless his lips and tongue are no longer in place, he CAN do oral. He chooses not to.
SAXXEYPHONE
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If I go with your signature I cheat myself everyday of life. I do aim above morality, and I am great for my children and for my husband, knowing that life could be worse for those in the world around me and trying to make it better for them just not my self and them. constant is one thing I try for everyday for them, and they rely on.
Stella_Omega
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That's the part that says "If I am not for myself, who will be for me?"
When I say "Moral" I don't mean it the way your Sunday School teacher did. You do have to take care of yourself, or else there will be nobody there to take care of your children. Orgasms are very good for the health, if we can have them. They can be good for your relationship.
And here you are, looking for how to do that.
CutieMouse
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Does this mean you're able to orgasm from penetration, but don't from clitoral stimulation?
And WHY can't he "do oral"?
SAXXEYPHONE
Virgin
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yes from penetration, non clitoral, w/ vibration. I want him to get me off clitoral w/o using vibration. Is that a lot to ask??? If so then I have a lot to learn. I have also a lot to learn about ass which he like and will not do. he wans to take his time.
SAXXEYPHONE
Virgin
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he knows more than he leads on but wont tell. I am frustrated and don't know what to do??? he won't tell. and......
SAXXEYPHONE
Virgin
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he says he don't want me to expect it. there for he dose not do it all the time, just intermittent.
SAXXEYPHONE
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I would like to say my kids were taken care of tonight and I was not. husband no ware to be found and therefore concerned. he says that he is taking care of us and I say he is taking care of him. But that is me
Loverskitten
I bite
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Is this for real?
Stella_Omega
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Unfortunately, we none of us are marriage councilors. We can give you some advice on how not to die doing kinky sex, that's our speciality 
MeekMe
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Unfortunately, we none of us are marriage councilors. We can give you some advice on how not to die doing kinky sex, that's our speciality
This should be a book title. (^з^)-☆
Stella_Omega
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I'll ask Dossie Easton to get right on that!
SAXXEYPHONE
Virgin
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for everyone I know that you are not sexual counselors but it is great to get idea to foster great sexual ideas from. I can com vaginaly (we think) I have no idea (I was not taught these things) but I have only had a clitoral 2 times since I was 20 without a vibrator. I want something new in my relationship and I have always want this.
SAXXEYPHONE
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according to my counselor I would respond to this due to my background. I was raped. and to have no control would make my bod respond naturally and therefore I would feel etc. I want to feel. I have had to stop a med to feel and now go back on it and well I am worried that I wont feel again. go figure. I guess this over anyone's head. So sorry that I got on here to involve anyone. So sorry.
Stella_Omega
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I did not say sex counsellor, I said marriage counsellor. Your husband seems to have a list of things he "can't" do with you, sexually. We can't help you with that.
Nothing is over anyone's head but we do have to know about it, which means you have to use your words.
It's not always easy to have clitoral orgasms with other people. I have managed to do that only a few times, and I've fucked hundreds of people. I love sex. Having sex is easy and fun for me-- having orgasms is fun too, but over the years I have learned that they are NOT my main reason for having sex with other people.
I get clitoral orgasms when I masturbate. It's easiest with a vibrator. If I try without fingers, it can take two or three hours of starting, stopping fantasising, and starting again. I'm not exaggerating.
The meds-- yeah, they are a humongous problem. Anything that interferes with your blood flow or your nerve endings. I stopped taking Zoloft because of that. I'm on wellbutrin now.
Nothing is over anyone's head but we do have to know about it, which means you have to use your words.
It's not always easy to have clitoral orgasms with other people. I have managed to do that only a few times, and I've fucked hundreds of people. I love sex. Having sex is easy and fun for me-- having orgasms is fun too, but over the years I have learned that they are NOT my main reason for having sex with other people.
I get clitoral orgasms when I masturbate. It's easiest with a vibrator. If I try without fingers, it can take two or three hours of starting, stopping fantasising, and starting again. I'm not exaggerating.
The meds-- yeah, they are a humongous problem. Anything that interferes with your blood flow or your nerve endings. I stopped taking Zoloft because of that. I'm on wellbutrin now.
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MeekMe
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Listen, I don't think anyone is taught about orgasms. It's a trial and error kind of thing. You wont know what gets you there until you try it. Even when you try it, you'll still be confused on whether the feeling you got was an orgasm or not. Sometimes, you have to do something multiple times to understand the feelings you're experiencing. I learn something new every time I have sex.
As for your orgasm, it sounds like the one you have to rely on it YOU. Even with a partner, you can't expect them to do all the work. If there's something you want, say it/do it.
As for medication, yes they can have these effects. While taking Zoloft my vagina was a desert. If there are alternative meds, I suggest giving them a try to find out if you can avoid some of the side effects. If you can't avoid that medication, then look for ways to improve the situation. Different lubes, positions, stimulation, etc.
SAXXEYPHONE
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I am wanting to than all of you!! This has been really insightful. I came close to an external O this morning and husband is ecstatic. We have been being more open and talking more about wants and needs. The stories and what not from here have been teaching me a few things along the way and have been giving me ideas on different things to do to arouse him. All of you I know are no marriage councilors and I never wanted to come across as needing one. My husband has never had to do all the work, but I don't ask for much either in this department. (My fault). I know that all I have in this life is to rely on is me.
