new writer

[devil-tongue]

hello all, i'm a newbie here, and submitted a few poems just recently. mostly write lyrics, for my music,but do poetry as well. would appreciate any comments anyone has on the two i have submitted. need to know how bad they really are before i make things really bad by submitting more, lol. any and all comments welcomed, thanks,

 

[devil-tongue]

oops

the poems i have wrote are deciet and of my breath in the non erotic poetry.sorry for not mentioning that earlier

 

[KillerMuffin]

http://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=33891

Hi! Here's a link to your member page.

 

[devil-tongue]

thanks

thanks for posting that, guess it shows i am a newbie at this.

 

[devil-tongue]

more

There are a few more I have submitted. I would like to thank gunslinger for his input, it was extremelyhelpful, and to killer muffin for posting the link. If there is any input any of you have i would greatly appreciate it. I don't care if its good or bad, I use it to help make me better. so none is take offense too. thanks. and by the way please vote, it gives me an idea as to whether its any good on an average to all of you. thanks again

 

[cymbidia]

Re: more

and by the way please vote, it gives me an idea as to whether its any good on an average to all of you. thanks again

May i offer a few small words of advice from one who has Lit-voting battle scars?

If you can, don't get caught up in the idea that scores = worth as a writer/poet. Don't get sucked into that mindset. In that direction lies hurt feelings and self-doubt and tears of rage and disbelief; trust me.

Everyone goes there, though, upon thier arrival at Lit, so my words to you about this are only so much chaff on the wind for now... and i know it.

Try to remember this: the votes, the voters, will not ever reflect your worth as a writer or a poet. Despite the rollercoaster ride of scores, you gotta just keep writing.

 

[Ray Dario]

Re: Re: more

May i offer a few small words of advice from one who has Lit-voting battle scars?

If you can, don't get caught up in the idea that scores = worth as a writer/poet. Don't get sucked into that mindset. In that direction lies hurt feelings and self-doubt and tears of rage and disbelief; trust me.

Everyone goes there, though, upon thier arrival at Lit, so my words to you about this are only so much chaff on the wind for now... and i know it.

Try to remember this: the votes, the voters, will not ever reflect your worth as a writer or a poet. Despite the rollercoaster ride of scores, you gotta just keep writing.

Well said cym! But feedback is sure nice to get.

Ray

 

[cymbidia]

Oh yeh... feedback is lovely. Feedback is... is better than solitary masturbation but not as good as good sex. It's better than bad sex, though, that's for sure!

Yeh. Feedback is good. I do tricks for feedback, btw...

 

[JUDO]

Tricks?

Judo like tricks. Especially when promised by very sexy pain lady.

*furrows brow and wonders*

Am I playing Twister with a porcupine here?

- Judo

 

[cymbidia]

~grinning at your 'twister with a porcupine' image~

I assure you, Judo, were there any porcupines involved in anything i was doing, i would be on the business end of the quills, not safely ensconced inside the points. That's just the kinda gal i am!

 

[devil-tongue]

feedback

i assure you i wont get tied to the score, its just nice to see one, only to have one give you an idea of its worth, not neccesarily my worth as a writer. the advice is true, just,would like to see a score to it, as to the worth of the poem. tells me overall if i should try harder, or if i am pleasing the general public. although that may sound more like i am tieng myself to it , i'm not, i'm tieing it the worth of the poem itself. thanks for the feed back though

 

[KillerMuffin]

The problem you're going to encounter is that poetry just isn't read. People come here to read dirty stories and get off. They don't care about poetry much because it doesn't make ya get a boner. There are some who do read poetry and those are mostly those who write it. It is, despite the number of poems, a unfortunately smaller segment of the site.

It's very frustrating and has nothing to do with your abilities as a poet.

 

[Xantham]

After reading KillerMuffin's empassioned reply, I thought I should wander by and read your poetry and give it my votes.

For feedback I submit the following. First, check your spelling. Next, The strongest of the bunch IMHO, (there were 6 when I wrote this) is SoulMate. You have the gift of imagery and a good command of word choice, but you seem to be caught in making every line a phrase. In 6 poems you had one run-on sentence. This makes your poems very choppy. If I were to guess, my guess would be that your music is mostly in the heavy metal range where each lyric is followed by a musical riff. This is one style, but you should give a shot at working some more flow into your lines. If only to try something different.

That's my two cents worth, disregard at will.

 

[devil-tongue]

thanks

first, I would like to Reply to cym, and although, this will sound more mean, its not intended that way. yes i realize this an erotic site, and appeals to that in paticular. one of the reasons i came here, is more people are apt to be open with there opinions here. Since there is a section for non erotic poetry, i apllied for feedback, albiet, i know that there will be little of it. which is one reason i asked for it. I also realize that this does not judge me as a writer, on how much i get back or what i get back in feed back. So in that sense I'm not oblivious to my response total, or the responses in general. second to Xan, i appreciate the response, no one has ever mentioned the run on before, I'll have to recheck that on in paticular, but you are correct in that it applies mostly metal tunes. All the info you have provided has been helpful, so thank you very much