new writer...new story

[kinky_n_cali]

Hi. I just got my first story on Literotica. I would love some feedback before I start writing my second one. Any comments, suggestions anything would be appreciated.


http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=44263&page=3

I think that is the right URL, I apologize if it is not.

Story: Deanna
Cat: BDSM


Dianna

 

[Impetus]

You'll want to post this in the 'story feedback' section. Do, and I'll garantee you feedback.

-I

 

[kinky_n_cali]

Ok, thank you


Dianna