New writer needs his first (rejected) story edited

[Guest]

Hello all

My name is Paul, and I go by sgt_wiklund on the site. I just wrote and submitted my first story, and it was rejected. I could use a hand here. It's not too much of a mess, I just have a problem with dialogue and punctuation when used with quotation marks. I feel it's a good story, and that the descriptions are nice, but I could also use a second opinion.

Basically, I have reasonably thick skin, and would like an honest assessment. It started as a series of letters to my wife sent over email with the "I turned to you" style of writing. I was addressing her in the past tense. She asked that I turn it into a story and submit it, so I tried to make the conversion.

I think that in the conversion I missed some stuff, but honestly, I have been staring and staring at it so long that I am glossing over errors. Please help!

-Paul

 

[sr71plt]

Hello all

My name is Paul, and I go by sgt_wiklund on the site. I just wrote and submitted my first story, and it was rejected. I could use a hand here. It's not too much of a mess, I just have a problem with dialogue and punctuation when used with quotation marks. I feel it's a good story, and that the descriptions are nice, but I could also use a second opinion.

Basically, I have reasonably thick skin, and would like an honest assessment. It started as a series of letters to my wife sent over email with the "I turned to you" style of writing. I was addressing her in the past tense. She asked that I turn it into a story and submit it, so I tried to make the conversion.

I think that in the conversion I missed some stuff, but honestly, I have been staring and staring at it so long that I am glossing over errors. Please help!

-Paul

When stories are rejected here, they give a reason--usually in the form of a question, which sometimes only needs to be explained away in a resubmission.

Without knowing the reason given, no one here can really help you in getting started on getting the story through submission.

 

[Guest]

Well, it is mostly punctuation (as stated above), and when I find a willing editor (because the volunteer page got me nowhere), I would send the story along with a cut and paste of the rejection reason. the thing is, I know that this is not aplace to simply post my story in an effort to get around submission guidelines, and I just wanted someone to look at it for me (or with me, over IM) and tell me what I can do better.

-Paul

 

[snoopercharmbrights]

... It's not too much of a mess, I just have a problem with dialogue and punctuation when used with quotation marks. ...

At a practical level these sites may help:

http://www.informatics.sussex.ac.uk/department/docs/punctuation/node00.html
http://www.correctpunctuation.co.uk/index.htm
http://www.grammaticallycorrect.co.uk/
http://www.askoxford.com/betterwriting/?view=uk

 

[sr71plt]

Well, it is mostly punctuation (as stated above), and when I find a willing editor (because the volunteer page got me nowhere), I would send the story along with a cut and paste of the rejection reason. the thing is, I know that this is not aplace to simply post my story in an effort to get around submission guidelines, and I just wanted someone to look at it for me (or with me, over IM) and tell me what I can do better.

-Paul

If you want to send the first couple of hundred words of it to me at Email address deleted according to Literotica Forum Rule #4, I'll take a look at it and see if it can be changed to get through submission here.

This is pretty crazy, "Lady" C. The e-mail address is easily found on my profile, and I was offering direct help here on a Lit. issue. As usual, you are running this part of the forum into the ground to follow your zealous hate agenda.

I've yet--in three years--seen you actually provide one iota of help yourself to seekers of help on this board.

 

[CopperSkink]

All you want is an IM chat? That's easy enough; I'm down.

 

[Guest]

With regards to everyone that has replied, thank you very much. Last night I found a wonderful editor and I am submitting my work to her. I appreciate everything that the Literotica community has done for me.

~Paul