English_guy_bkk
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I shall sing and dance for a couple of shillings
New UK Thread
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oggbashan
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Shillings? I think I still have a few lying around...
Friends are great. I have been having trouble with the brakes on my four-wheeled walkers. A friend heard, came around and made them better than they were, not brilliant because the design is crap, but at least they sort of work.
It is nice to have a qualified mechanic, engineer and currently employed welder even if some find her a puzzle...
HampshireBoy
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I think my wife would notice me removing her bush, though it is my job to keep bushes trimmed.
Pimms tastes a bit spicy and fruity, could be a little bitter if you don't add fruit and lemonade. Not really like sangria but I enjoy both. I may be a few glasses in
English_guy_bkk
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Please come back when you're about a gallon in...I think my wife would notice me removing her bush, though it is my job to keep bushes trimmed.
Pimms tastes a bit spicy and fruity, could be a little bitter if you don't add fruit and lemonade. Not really like sangria but I enjoy both. I may be a few glasses in
English_guy_bkk
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Sorry mate at least your brakes kind of work.
My engineering skill may make you go faster!
I'd buy you a pint after though!
LittleSwitchy
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This Yankee is now blocking you. Cause ya rubbing it in our faces. Bad Tits bad.
Wait WTH did I just say?!?!
There’s no bad tits.
HampshireBoy
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Like you, I've been in the garden. Now have a slightly red bum and back, just checking in the mirror that my willy is ok
LittleSwitchy
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If you’re buying. Can I get a whisky? It’s little early for pints.
oggbashan
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One of my neighbours has a pavement buggy supposed to be restricted to 8 mph. He is a retired car mechanic. He has modified it to run on 24 volts and souped it up. He was clocked on a speed camera at 36 but they couldn't prosecute him because his buggy is unregistered and he was wearing a full-face helmet.
But next time?
LittleSwitchy
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That’s hilarious.
Reminds me of a tv show over here. Farm truck, Azn, and Jeff built golf carts. One had a 1000 CC motorcycle engine. I think he put nitrous on it
Titsandclits
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Welcome to the thread, glad you back tracked about the tits. We might have had a falling out before we got chatting
Titsandclits
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Hi Shrek’s glad you found the new thread, the other one has imploded.
LittleSwitchy
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How can anyone not like tits? Especially with a couple clamps on them.Welcome to the thread, glad you back tracked about the tits. We might have had a falling out before we got chatting
Oops. Did i say that
Titsandclits
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I agree, just make sure you have read all of my signature specifically the last line
LittleSwitchy
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You’re safe. You aren’t my type. Sorry to burst your bubble. LolI agree, just make sure you have read all of my signature specifically the last line
Titsandclits
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Good, many make the wrong assumption
Anastasia1999
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Are you a good singer?
Everyone's a good singer when there's no one else to hear them sing
oggbashan
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I'm not. As a Boy Treble, I was sometimes asked to augment a cathedral choir for big occasions. At 11 I went to another all-boys school and was the understudy for any of the three little maids in a production of Gilbert and Sullivan's The Mikado but they hoped they wouldn't have to use me. Why?Everyone's a good singer when there's no one else to hear them sing
1. I was larger than anyone else in the cast. Little I wasn't.
2. My voice was being to break. I went from Treble to Basso Profundo.
I can't reach the top notes of a Bass and am usually an octave below the Bass line. At a later school in a rehearsal for the prizegiving singing of the school song, I was one of three out of 1,200 boys told to shut up and mime.
When I sing at home, the cat bolts out of the cat flap at high speed and my wife puts her fingers in her ears.
If I attend weddings and funerals at which they sing hymns, the congregation usually turns around to see where the rumble is coming from.
When I was going out with my future wife in the early days of our relationship she wanted me to attend her girls' school carol concert because they were short of male voices. Never again. When I started singing the school choir stopped in shock.
Any voice-activated telephone system will not recognise my voice.
Shortly before I was due to retire I was given a major project. The other person was also about to retire but he had a hearing problem. He couldn't hear upper or middle registers. I was the only person he could hear clearly until I got my staff to build him a custom-made voice changer. He plugged his earphones into it and could adjust it so even a soprano came out as Basso Profundo - to his delight.
English_guy_bkk
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Not really no.. sadly
English_guy_bkk
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Anyone up yet?
LittleSwitchy
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That sounds like a personal question. Lol.
