New to the Master situation... help! hehehe

[LiterBug]

Okay, so I've got a woman in my life who has revealed she is into submission / BDSM / slavery etc., with light pain/spanking and such... the problem is, I have never been into that myself! I don't MIND it and am quite happy to indulge her, especially as I am sure it will result in fantastic sex for both of us.

But where does one START? Can you recommend good stories here at Lit for the "beginner" male master?

I guess my ideal response would have a list of suggestions for things to try out the next time we have a evening or day free together... I'd especially like input from anyone who enjoys the submissive side, to let me know what works for them.

Thanks for all the feedback!

Jacob

 

[Netzach]

read Screw the Roses, send me the Thorns.

It's a very good beginner's guide if you can deal with some nerdy humor and a very goofy tone at times...
they really cover the BDSM world well for the newbie who is mostly oriented toward "normal" sex and explain a lot and suggest some clever things to start with.

 

[landcruisergal]

read Screw the Roses, send me the Thorns.

It's a very good beginner's guide if you can deal with some nerdy humor and a very goofy tone at times...
they really cover the BDSM world well for the newbie who is mostly oriented toward "normal" sex and explain a lot and suggest some clever things to start with.

i echo that. its a great book, and addresses a lot of safety issues that I hadnt considered before too.And its an easy pick up- put down read.

 

[Technodivinitas]

Suggestions from a sub

Above all, BEFORE all- arrange a Safeword with your playmate! The importance can't be stressed enough, even in serious, long-term D/s-experienced relationships. Make sure she's got one, make sure you know it, and make sure she knows how to USE it if she needs to. (And make sure you respect it, no matter how silly her reason might seem at the time!)

Discuss it at length with her, of course- in a neutral atmosphere, as equals.

Then start slow. Test the waters. If she said in your discussion that she fantasized about bondage, try a simple blindfold, and maybe a pair of silk scarves. Listen very closely for that safeword, and even if she's not using it, pay very close attention to her reactions- she might need to stop but be too embarassed to admit it.

Give her a slightly raunchy petname and see if she reacts well.
A blush and a gasp is one thing- trembling clenched jaws, maybe not so much good.

Whatever you do, be sure to take time, (in that neutral, equal setting again,) after you play to discuss it, and how it made each of you feel, and then you'll know what direction to go.

Good luck, have fun, be well!

 

[FungiUg]

Dum de dum.

My suggestion is you start with your partner. Have a good old fashioned raunchy talk and find out what her fantasies are. Now combine those with your own fantasies and see which ones appeal to you both. Write some of them down, and then plan how best to act some of them out.

Start small, work your way up.

There's a whole STACK of BDSM stories on Literotica, as well as some mind control and non-consensual erotica as well. They can be inspirational.

The problem I find with all of the "literature" (and don't get me wrong, that book is good stuff) is that unless you have some experience to relate it too, it's all a bit "dry". Like reading a text book. So I wouldn't recommend that for starters -- have a bit of a play first so you have a better idea of what's involved for the two of you.

And hey, you're always welcome to ask questions here as well!

One thing I would stress: everyone is different, so you need to discover what works for the two of you. Which leads you back to that talk with your partner.

It's all good fun though!

 

[LiterBug]

Thanks all for the suggestions, we've actually tried some of the basics... heh, guess I am coming across as a bit naive. We've done handcuffs, blindfolds, spanking etc... I think she wants to get a bit more serious than that, it's always seemed kinda ... welll... not sure what the word for it would be...

Still... gonna look up that book, and look through the stories. Should be an entertaining learning process.