New to the life...

[NothingClever]

Intrigued by...

Okay, against my better judgement, because I hate sounding like a freaking idiot, I thought I would come check this out. The Dom/Sub thing intrigues me. I don't mean to trivialize it by calling it a "thing", I know it's a lifestyle. Anyway, I really have no idea what it's all about, and if anyone is willing to teach me, I'm willing to learn both Dom and Sub aspects. It would have to be online, which I know is kind of "cheating" if you will... but I just want to get an idea if it's morbid curiosity or if this is something I could really get into. So that I stop rambling, I'll end this post here... Thank you guys, in advance, for your help.

 

[graceanne]

Welcome. The best way to learn is to participate in conversations and ask questions when you have them. Also, checking out the bdsm library sticky is a good way to start. Good luck.

 

[myinnerslut]

hi. welcome to lit

most everyone here is really friendly and helpful. this is a great place to learn

 

[sexycaz22]

Welcome.

This is a great place to learn more about the D/s lifestyle. I have learnt quite a lot from this place and I am still learning.

Caz

 

[NothingClever]

Bump... still looking for a teacher, interested in teaching a newbie about both aspects of this culture... I will certainly be taking the advice of those who have responded on this thread thus far...

 

[Puman]

Bump... still looking for a teacher, interested in teaching a newbie about both aspects of this culture... I will certainly be taking the advice of those who have responded on this thread thus far...

You've certainly come to the right place and as per the posts above, the library is a good start. If you're looking for a 1 on 1 online 'chat' or interaction, have you thought of placing an ad in the BDSM personals? Just remember to be 100% honest about what you're after... and Welcome!

 

[AndrewKay]

Bdsm

Everyone is a bit different as to what they incorporate into their relationships, so like other's have said, starting a conversation is the best way to "feel out the field". Actually, learning what it is to be a sub is hard if you do not have a clue what kind of Dom/Domme you are looking for, and if you are open to anything, what it is you need to do as a sub will come easy but in terms of gained knowledge actually you will have a very specific idea of what it is to be a sub for a particular Dom/Domme.

I think finding a sub, for you to be a Domme (online) would not be too difficult either, but to come out of it with something on this end, I think requires some initiative and some confidence. I don't mean like lie about your experience, but I mean being truthful but still surefooted. A sub with a lost Domme will not give you clear idea. Talking to another Domme might help.

Besides talking, you can also read the more revealing/personal stories that are sometimes up here about the struggles or successes that subs and Dommes have.

 

[Etoile]

I agree with gracie - if you try to learn everything from one person, you will come away with a very one-sided view of things, and that view may not fit in with your own desires. I strongly recommend just participating in discussions here. If you don't want to read the library, don't be afraid to ask questions instead!

 

[BiBunny]

Well, since I referred you here, I'm going to agree with everybody else. You'll have much better luck learning from all of us than one of us in particular. We're fun, and we don't bite too hard.

 

[neonflux]

Well, since I referred you here, I'm going to agree with everybody else. You'll have much better luck learning from all of us than one of us in particular. We're fun, and we don't bite too hard.

Hmmmmm...

Oh! And welcome, NothingClever! Neon

 

[BiBunny]

Hmmmmm...

Oh! And welcome, NothingClever! Neon

Correction: We don't bite newbies too hard.

 

[NothingClever]

Hmmm... well that is entirely too bad that you don't bite newbies too hard...

 

[BiBunny]

Hmmm... well that is entirely too bad that you don't bite newbies too hard...

Well, we can make exceptions if they ask nicely.

 

[NothingClever]

Then pretty please, bite as hard as you like...

 

[BiBunny]

Then pretty please, bite as hard as you like...

*Chomp*

 

[NothingClever]

*Chomp*

*rubs the place where Bunny took the massive chomp* Thank you!

 

[gingermango]

You seem to be getting off to a good start.

 

[Chris_Xavier]

*Chomp*

Better be careful man.. she bites.. and takes no prisoners.

 

[NothingClever]

You seem to be getting off to a good start.

Thank you... I've been reading your posts Ginger and I must tell you... it's very intriguing... I'm not sure if I would prefer being a PYL or pyl... so I guess both... but just in the day or so that I've been coming to the BDSM forums... I am slowly learning... alas... now just to find someone to play and learn with...

 

[NothingClever]

Better be careful man.. she bites.. and takes no prisoners.

And she bites DAMN HARD! I love that!

 

[gingermango]

I've been reading your posts Ginger and I must tell you... it's very intriguing...

Life's much better for me since I found my Goddess. She took the confused and curious guy I was and turned me into . . . whatever it is exactly that I am today.

Seriously, you're in the right place to learn. Read lots of threads, take it all with a grain of salt and measure what you read against how it makes you feel inside. When you're ready to meet someone for real, REALLY ready, I bet you'll find that person. There are a LOT more kinky people in the world than you think. Your "kink-radar" will develop with time and, with a few subtle hints and arched eyebrows, you can probably find each other more easily than it seems right now.

 

[NothingClever]

Life's much better for me since I found my Goddess. She took the confused and curious guy I was and turned me into . . . whatever it is exactly that I am today.

Seriously, you're in the right place to learn. Read lots of threads, take it all with a grain of salt and measure what you read against how it makes you feel inside. When you're ready to meet someone for real, REALLY ready, I bet you'll find that person. There are a LOT more kinky people in the world than you think. Your "kink-radar" will develop with time and, with a few subtle hints and arched eyebrows, you can probably find each other more easily than it seems right now.

Now, how does Goddess feel about you giving advice... I mean just how much control does she have over your day to day life?

 

[Chris_Xavier]

And she bites DAMN HARD! I love that!

She's told me (and a few others) that she wouldn't mind finding a guy to top.

She's got an ad up.. here

(now let's see if she finds out I've been pimping her)

 

[gingermango]

Now, how does Goddess feel about you giving advice... I mean just how much control does she have over your day to day life?

She doesn't mind me giving advice and sharing experiences at all. In terms of daily control, it varies from day to day, depending on her moods. She's my Goddess/Domme/Top/PYL in all things sexual - I wear panties every day since she has tossed all my underwear and replaced them. I am sometimes locked in a chastity device for anywhere from several days to several weeks, as she desires. I will do anything sexual she requires of me, at any time. She can take lovers and sexual playmates outside of our marriage while I may not - we swing together but only she can go play alone. But since she's also my wife and we have children and jobs, she uses common sense about using and displaying her control openly (though she's not above doing something like making me go to the bathroom at work and masturbate and having me lick my hands clean or something, if the mood takes her there).

At home if the kids aren't around, I will wait on her hand and foot - get her snacks and wine, clean the kitchen after dinner, etc. In most things we APPEAR to be a very normal couple. But the rubber gloves I wear to wash the dishes? Pink. The endearment she uses when no one's around? Bitch. As in, "Thanks for the wine, Bitch. Now rub my feet." With a naughty smile, of course, but she knows I'll obey. If I whine or complain too much, she'll make me come apologize and suck her toes or something, and I may get spanked for it later.

It's not for everyone but it works for us.

 

[NothingClever]

She doesn't mind me giving advice and sharing experiences at all. In terms of daily control, it varies from day to day, depending on her moods. She's my Goddess/Domme/Top/PYL in all things sexual - I wear panties every day since she has tossed all my underwear and replaced them. I am sometimes locked in a chastity device for anywhere from several days to several weeks, as she desires. I will do anything sexual she requires of me, at any time. She can take lovers and sexual playmates outside of our marriage while I may not - we swing together but only she can go play alone. But since she's also my wife and we have children and jobs, she uses common sense about using and displaying her control openly (though she's not above doing something like making me go to the bathroom at work and masturbate and having me lick my hands clean or something, if the mood takes her there).

At home if the kids aren't around, I will wait on her hand and foot - get her snacks and wine, clean the kitchen after dinner, etc. In most things we APPEAR to be a very normal couple. But the rubber gloves I wear to wash the dishes? Pink. The endearment she uses when no one's around? Bitch. As in, "Thanks for the wine, Bitch. Now rub my feet." With a naughty smile, of course, but she knows I'll obey. If I whine or complain too much, she'll make me come apologize and suck her toes or something, and I may get spanked for it later.

It's not for everyone but it works for us.

That's interesting... I hate feeling like I'm putting you guys under a microscope. I'm just curious, I guess. If I ever ask anything that over steps a line or boundary please tear into me... and tell me to mind my own fucking business... I don't know that I could control someone that completely, or be controlled that completely... because I have a temper that boils just under the surface constantly, and if it ever snapped it could be bad for a sub or domme... or what not... but I'm still going to learn what I can from the people I've met here... Really you guys have been very friendly and welcoming.