New to the board, need opinions.

[Austin8]

Have we scared new guy enough? or should we keep torturing him?

 

[Safe_Bet]

Now, now.

Don't send a first time Lit writer out into that category without giving them the details! Shame!

Word - Do what you feel works best for the story, what you are most comfortable writing.

And certainly avoid Loving Wives, since the readers are fucking insane.

Not - insanely fucking.

Fucking insane.

Welcome!

SSS I think you are just trying to keep the LW catagory to yourself, so that you get all of their adoration. It's not fair that you be the only writer that gets their kind, sensitive, open minded (yet "spirited") praise... You need to learn to share!

(Pssst. 'Sides he has submitted 5 stories already starting about a year ago )

 

[kendo1]

Rub her arms, rub her legs, rubber tubes - as my chemistry teacher used to say.

 

[NoJo]

Someone had stuck a knife into them and all her life's blood had drained out. All except the part still running through her body, I mean.

Don't tell me, SHOW me the blood and possibly semen

 

[damppanties]

Don't tell me, SHOW me the blood and possibly semen

Bloody semened shoulders? You have some interesting kinks going on there, Joe.

 

[Austin8]

Yep. cause we all talk fuckin' crazy, dude! But Me personally,I would find it hard to write with out using dialogue thats all.

 

[NoJo]

Bloody semened shoulders? You have some interesting kinks going on there, Joe.

I'm glad you find them interesting, most people smile when I tell them about them. Actually it's not so much a smile so much as a hideous rictus of terror

 

[damppanties]

Don't tell me, SHOW me the blood and possibly semen

Fountains of blood gushed out of her shoulders that had been stabbed repeatedly until ribbons of the sticky red liquid saturated the floor. It was on this that she slipped as the rest of her body came through the bar. Her head hit the hard floor, killing her on the spot.

Her companion, the one with the leaky penis, panicked. "Someone call an ambulance!" he shouted. But, alas, it was too late.

 

[Guest]

SSS I think you are just trying to keep the LW catagory to yourself, so that you get all of their adoration. It's not fair that you be the only writer that gets their kind, sensitive, open minded (yet "spirited") praise... You need to learn to share!

(Pssst. 'Sides he has submitted 5 stories already starting about a year ago )

(I don't think I have any stories in Loving Wives here.)

And oops - on the already submitted stories. Feel stupid, I do.

 

[Safe_Bet]

(I don't think I have any stories in Loving Wives here.)

And oops - on the already submitted stories. Feel stupid, I do.

Neither do I (nor shall I!) I guess we both like to get "spanked" in a more tangible way!

 

[Guest]

Neither do I (nor shall I!) I guess we both like to get "spanked" in a more tangible way!

Indeed.

 

[jomar]

What is the use of a book, thought Alice, without pictures or conversations?

Of COURSE you should have dialogue, it's the way people communicate with each other.

"Show, don't tell" is an instruction to the you the author (not to your characters) , telling you not to write things like "he got angry with her", but to show it -- e.g. make him say "Where the FUCK do you think you're going"

You can show and tell, thusly;

He asked her where the FUCK she thought she was going. But her hunched shoulders never faltered, and he lost sight of them in the crowd.

He saw them a few minutes later, they'd gone to the bar to get a drink while she stood there shoulderless in her backless dress like a fool, a FUCKING fool

Someone had stuck a knife into them and all her life's blood had drained out. All except the part still running through her body, I mean.

Bloody semened shoulders? You have some interesting kinks going on there, Joe.

Fountains of blood gushed out of her shoulders that had been stabbed repeatedly until ribbons of the sticky red liquid saturated the floor. It was on this that she slipped as the rest of her body came through the bar. Her head hit the hard floor, killing her on the spot.

Her companion, the one with the leaky penis, panicked. "Someone call an ambulance!" he shouted. But, alas, it was too late.

Reads like an academic paper.

 

[damppanties]

Reads like an academic paper.

You can do better?

 

[jomar]

You can do better?

It's thread referential.

Having said that...comedy is dangerous.

 

[damppanties]

It's thread referential.

Having said that...comedy is dangerous.

I got that.

You're not the only one who stalks.

 

[Stella_Omega]

What have you lot done to her shoulders!

What did her shoulders ever do to you? And that poor man's leaking penis. You rascals!

 

[damppanties]

It's not my fault! Joe wanted blood and semen!

 

[jomar]

I got that.

You're not the only one who stalks.

Then how was it not pitch perfect?

I see your and raise you :caning:

Hmpf. Manu has clearly not responded to my request for better emoticons.

 

[Stella_Omega]

It's not my fault! Joe wanted blood and semen!

Hmmph. If Joe wanted...

Oh never mind, of course you would! Anyone would, for Joe.

 

[SweetWitch]

I think you should put your story in Loving Wives (and make sure that the wife screws the guy over and that he is a wimp) Once you do all of those things, not having dialog won't make any difference because you will get nothing but rave reviews from the readership of that catagory.


*Snerk*

I've always suspected that you were evil.

 

[TE999]

Short version: Write what you like, however it suits you. Everyone has their own style. If this is your first attempt at a no dialogue story...go for it...we learn by doing. Welcome to the AH.

(Is directing the thread back to it's original subject considered a threadjack or an un-threadjack? )

 

[Austin8]

Short version: Write what you like, however it suits you. Everyone has their own style. If this is your first attempt at a no dialogue story...go for it...we learn by doing. Welcome to the AH.

(Is directing the thread back to it's original subject considered a threadjack or an un-threadjack? )

I prefer to think of it as *it's about damn time* thanks T

 

[TE999]

Stupid double post. WTF is with the servers this evening?

 

[SweetWitch]

I prefer to think of it as *it's about damn time* thanks T

Stupid double post. WTF is with the servers this evening?

Um, I only see one post. Are you sure you didn't spend too much time in the Florida sun today, Tom?

 

[SWFL_Wordslinger]

Wow lol. Thanks for all the replies. Some good advice here.

I worked on the story a little more yesterday. I think it will be mostly dialogue free, just as a writing exercise. I may throw a few lines here and there.

I'm trying to keep the reader in the main characters head, show his steady progression into madness. The original plan was for a short and sweet story line, but it's keeps growing.

On a side note, can anyone recommend a volunteer editor? I tried one a while back on a story, and while she was eager to help after a month had gone by she emailed me and said she read it but didn't have time to edit it. I haven't tried any since.

Thanks!