New to erotica

[the_apocalypse]

Having tried to write for a few years I thought I would give erotica a go. I then wrote a couple of pieces but didn't know what to do with them until I came across this site.

Hopefully I may have found a genre I can write in but would love to know what others think.

The two I have posted are in totally diferent genres of erotica.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=403876
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=404934

 

[janiexx]

I read "A New Experience" and think you could do with an editor to go over your work before you submit it to Literotica. It was well written, but the thing that struck me was your dialogue, which sounded very wooden.

For instance:

"Can I get you a drink? I politely asked.

"Thank you. I would like a dry white wine please." She replied.

I would have written:

"Would you like a drink?" I asked.

She looked surprised. "Oh, thanks. I'll have a white wine, please."

People generally don't speak formally and it can be helpful to read your work out loud to see if it flows.

I also saw speech marks in the wrong place (see above - there's one missing after the word drink).

I think if you found a helpful editor (and I don't mind volunteering!) to just go through your stories and polish them a little, you should have a great career on Lit!

janie xx

 

[elfin_odalisque]

Having tried to write for a few years I thought I would give erotica a go. I then wrote a couple of pieces but didn't know what to do with them until I came across this site.

Hopefully I may have found a genre I can write in but would love to know what others think.

The two I have posted are in totally diferent genres of erotica.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=403876
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=404934

Thanks for the links, it really helps us lazy tykes.

You write really well but just have a habit (in 2 stories?) to get a bit locked up in your protagonist's POV. Also, whilst writing an enjoyable bit of smut, you don't develop any tension between the characters. In both, especially the T/S, there are fears and embarrassments to overcome.

Great start and welcome. Please write more and develop the interreaction between the characters.

Good luck.

 

[the_apocalypse]

Thank you very much for your input. I think as you suggest I will take up an editor. Think I just rushed the first couple in my excitement at finding a site to post the writing that I have been craving for.