New to Dom/sub World.... umm help?

[RockingsMystiq]

Thanks for all of your input and wisdom, along with the wisecracks!

 

[RockingsMystiq]

Also: Cutiemouse was not asking you that to be mean, she was asking because you're new, as you say, and declaring yourself property while being a clueless newbie is a very dangerous thing.

So yeah, it's just online. That's okay, just be careful about that sort of thing.

Thanks. I understand completely.

 

[RockingsMystiq]

Bottom: One who submits (with light and hard limits) within an agreed upon set of boundaries, within a "scene". Retains rights to stop things at any point/safeword.

Submissive: One who submits with agreed upon light and hard limits, not necessarily bound by being in "scene" or not. Retains rights to stop things at any point/safeword.

Slave: One who submits in and out of "scene"; commonly giving up rights to stop things/safeword.

The tricky part is there are submissives who will submit without a safeword, just like a slave - neither is incorrect. All are shorthanded on this board as pyl (pick your lable) nods to the Wicked One

The correlating positions are

Top: One who Dominates (with light and hard limits) within an agreed upon set of boundaries, within a "scene". Retains rights to stop things at any point/safeword.

Dominant: One who Dominates with agreed upon light and hard limits, not necessarily bound by being in "scene" or not. Retains rights to stop things at any point/safeword.

Master: One who Dominates in and out of "scene", commonly without use of a safe word.

The tricky part is there are Dominants who call themselves Master and vice versa, just like with pyls. (The dominant version of shorthand around here is PYL Pick Your Label. Nods to the Wicked One

I had a few reasons for commenting on your signature last night -

A) The online phenomenon of BDSM has led to certain behaviors which are generally viewed as Horny Net Geek reg flags - one of which is a "Master" who chooses to control his charge's communication with others. A "Master" who insists on screening all communication could easily be isolating/controlling/manipulating the submissive in a bad way. The whole "ask permission of Lord DomlyDom" thing usually just results in a lot of eye rolling.

B) Stating that this man "owns" your body, mind, soul... online or real time, that sort of statement (IMO) *without having any clue about BDSM* is empty. There are people who hand over everything, but they do so with full knowledge and respect of what that means. You aren't. I appreciate that your relationship is online, but seriously... dial back and learn a few things first.

Thanks CutieMouse for the explanations and the concern and words of wisdom, I sincerely do appreciate it. I def did not realize all the levels and aspects. Is there a BDSM for Dummies book anywhere?!?! LOL

 

[RockingsMystiq]

Just want to jump in here...the "leather lifestyle" that you referred to earlier is very different from what most people around here practice. Leather is primarily a gay thing - not totally, but primarily - and heterosexuals are usually just "kinksters." There are many straight people in leather, but the leather lifestyle grew out of the gay male lifestyle in post-WWII San Francisco, so its roots are heavily tied to gay men.

Ahhhh okay. See I learned something else. Just from one site I read they talked like it was hetero BDSM. God, so confusing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[RockingsMystiq]

To everyone who posted links, advice and concern, I do appreciate it. And okay so maybe I got carried away right away with what I put in the signature right out of the shoot. But I am a person who when I jump into something I TOTALLY jump in and sometimes realize "WHOA!!! That puddle was deeper than I thought!" ...LOL Or maybe I need to let off the gas and actually watch where I'm driving! LOL And then have to reassess and re-plan. I'm of artistic mind so sometimes my heart rules before my head, even though I consider myself having a good head on my shoulders if that makes sense? But I still think I will leave my signature as it is just because my Dom likes it. But it was my idea to write that out and let him approve. He is a very kind, and sweet man, who has so far allowed me to say no to anything that might seem uncomfortable. And I guess too the fantasy of being a sub appeals to me because IRL sometimes with my artistic and passionate nature, I have a hard time making up my mind on some things or choosing between this or that when I love so many varied things (GOD forbid you make me go to a greeting card aisle and pick out a card...I'll be there for hours...LOL), so the thought of having someone else boss me a bit is a turn-on, especially in the sexual aspects of my life. So there you know a bit about me then!