New sub who has lots of experience sexually

[MsFastFingers]

I need some advice. I have not been an official submissive before, this is a whole new world for me. I have found a master whom I trust. I am however a very experienced person sexually. I already love sex, oral and anal sex, and I don't mind things getting a little rough. I believe I am challenging my master as he said I am unlike any woman he's been with before, and he says that it is unique and interesting, but also difficult when it comes to having control over me and finding a new and exciting way to draw out and extend my sexuality. Mind you, we have not had any real scenes as of yet. And we are each married to others, and are not together constantly.

I am so far, of my own will, and with his approval, wearing a collar for public wear (choke chain) and I am to be accountable for my orgasms, how many, how; other sexual encounters I may have, he would like to know about those. He already refers to me as his slut, and I am willing to be submissive so far, he wanted to know what toys I have.

I am a little mystified. Just because I am experienced, does that mean I won't be a challenge, or have anything left that is "trainable" for my master?

I am confused by his comments and he has asked me what it is that he could do to me that would make me feel very naughty; what is it that would scare me and make my pussy wet with anticipation; does being restrained excite me.

Does anyone have any suggestions to either of us on this? I will pass along comments I receive to my master.

 

[Moxon4]

I need some advice. I have not been an official submissive before, this is a whole new world for me. I have found a master whom I trust. I am however a very experienced person sexually. I already love sex, oral and anal sex, and I don't mind things getting a little rough. I believe I am challenging my master as he said I am unlike any woman he's been with before, and he says that it is unique and interesting, but also difficult when it comes to having control over me and finding a new and exciting way to draw out and extend my sexuality. Mind you, we have not had any real scenes as of yet. And we are each married to others, and are not together constantly.

I am so far, of my own will, and with his approval, wearing a collar for public wear (choke chain) and I am to be accountable for my orgasms, how many, how; other sexual encounters I may have, he would like to know about those. He already refers to me as his slut, and I am willing to be submissive so far, he wanted to know what toys I have.

I am a little mystified. Just because I am experienced, does that mean I won't be a challenge, or have anything left that is "trainable" for my master?

I am confused by his comments and he has asked me what it is that he could do to me that would make me feel very naughty; what is it that would scare me and make my pussy wet with anticipation; does being restrained excite me.

Does anyone have any suggestions to either of us on this? I will pass along comments I receive to my master.

There is always some training to be done, submission isn't about sex, it's more about control. Just have an open mind and try experimenting with new things, you'll find something that will excite you

 

[KinkyRascal]

It's About Your Master

Please know that your concerns are not about you, they are about your Master. Any experienced Master would well know what to do with someone as experienced as you. He should have the talents to know what to do with you as well.

 

[NemoAlia]

Welcome, MsFastFingers! You've definitely come to the right place. In fact, this is so much the right place that perhaps you're not getting all the answers you'd wish for because no one remembers the day when they, too, were in a, "But what else is there?" phase.

One's Dom/me should ideally be super-creative, uber-experienced, and telepathic. It sounds like yours is making a good start: a sincere effort to take your own kinks and fantasies into consideration in planning scenes. This isn't necessarily a sign of weakness or un-Domliness on his part

Maybe you should take this as an assignment to do some soul searching. Ask yourself the bondage question, the pain question, the humiliation question. The group scenes, public play, enemas, needle play, watersports, temporary body mod questions. The spanking, paddling, flogging, cropping, caning, whipping questions. The electro-shock, extreme insertion, cross-dressing, fetish wear, play rape, outdoor bondage questions. You know, make a list & check it twice! (And revisit it next month once you've crossed off a couple of your To-Dos.)

Enjoy!

 

[cherries_on_snow]

Thorough Answer, NemoAlia

*takes notes of categories* =D Great job. Usually when one feels in a rut, a few steps to one side or the other corrects the problem.

 

[MechaBlade]

There is always some training to be done

Yep. If you were an experienced sub, it might be harder to find stuff you haven't done, but since you're new to submission, there are millions of new things to try.

Little worried about that marital status thing. I'll just pretend your respective Significant Others know what you two are doing.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Being sexually experienced can only be an asset as like has already been said, submission is not about sex so that leaves you with just one area less your Dominant is going to have to work through. If they have a good imagination, they will make it work for both of you, not see it as a problem. Being sexually experienced in the vanilla pool, is vastly different to when you introduce the element of D/s, and if you are one of the fortunate ones who have finally found D/s as more than something new to try, you will find that your previous sexual experiences pale into insignificance to the ones you will now begin to explore and enjoy.

As to what is going to make you wet with anticipation, only you can know that at this point. It maybe a matter of it being something you already do, but with a twist which makes it a whole new ball game. Perhaps reading some of the BDSM stories here or elsewhere will give you some insight into what sparks the anticipation to a level you would like to explore more fully. As a word of warning though, what might appeal in fantasy can often be a let down or complete turn off in reality, even psychologically or emotionally damaging, so care is always needed, as is constant communication between you. Like MechaBlade, I am assuming your spouse is aware of your explorations as it can spoil a lot of fun and end messy if not. Also given D/s is based on trust, it is always good to start from a place where your conscience is clear. Have fun.

Catalina

 

[NemoAlia]

*takes notes of categories* =D Great job. Usually when one feels in a rut, a few steps to one side or the other corrects the problem.

Thanks for your compliment! I know there's stuff I left off, even stuff I've done, but for the life of me I just can't make my fingers keep pace with my brain!

Do you have personal recommendations?

 

[Pure]

i must say

that nemo's list does not seem to me like it would facilitate your submission.

i believe it would set up some interesting things to do as a couple, just like a list of fave movies you haven't seen. it would, IMO, enable determination of shared fetishes, perhaps.

i agree with Catalina that, going by a bare description, does not reach the essence of erotic submission. to take the simple example, you have fucked and maybe someone else hasn't; or you have fucked 45 and someone else has only 'done' 3.

i would (almost) guarantee, however, that were you ordered to fuck an unappealing stranger at a party, on a pool table, it would be a different experience!

kinky rascal's point has some merit. someone 'dominating' you should figure what to do. he should watch for clues, and listen for them in conversation. giving a map is a bit like telling someone, "here are my weaknesses in chess-- defending my queen side, and setting up support for pawns by knights. now let's play. ... hey, you beat me-- good game!"

those are my thoughts for what they're worth. lots of luck!

 

[Golk]

... I am however a very experienced person sexually... does that mean I won't be a challenge, or have anything left that is "trainable" for my master?

quite the contrary, MsFastFingers the more experienced you are, the greater the difficulty for your master to lead you to new, virgin areas of your sexuality, thus the greater the challenge
oh, and don't forget -as many others have already told you- that sexuality is not the only aspect of bdsm .. there are easy roads ..