New Sub Needing Advice

[SweetMarie2323]

My fiancé and I have been together for 7 years but only this year did we start exploring our kinky sides. I explained my need to be dominated in the bedroom and he was more than willing to give it a try. We have sense purchased about 50 feet of amazing rope, a true equestrian crop (my personal favorite), and a wand. We've talked about buying a flogger to try but when I started looking my head started spinning. Does anyone have advice on where to start? Apparently my pain threshold for leather is higher than I thought but I'm not sure if that's the best material to start with. Any advice would be greatly appreciated! Thank you all.

 

[MissShelly]

We just bought our first flogger, it was the Black Rose Whipping Willow. It was suggested to me by someone on here as a first flogger. It's not that expensive (compared to some others). We just used it for the first time last night and I really enjoyed it. http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B007Q3P9UK/ref=ox_ya_os_product

It's made of "faux leather."

 

[NickiC]

Most likely a kink for you and enjoy.

 

[desertslave]

There are two different flogger sensations, though some exceptional floggers can cross over. There is "sting" and "thud." Sting is the bite of the ends, for the most part, and thud is the weight of the tails as a mass. Thinner, harder types of leather will deliver more of a sting, and wider/softer/thicker leathers are more on the thuddy side. Suede tails tend to be softer, as is deer and goat vs. other leathers.

GOOD floggers aren't cheap. Take a peek at http://www.snakepitleatherworks.com/ for a gorgeous range and good descriptions for a start. (We have two of their floggers and I love them dearly.)

 

[Sweetdaisymae]

I make floggers for a living, and I absolutely agree what the others have said.

Firstly, what sort of pain do you like?

For me, I love a very heavy impact with not a lot of sting

I have this on my site to help.

General design & construction considerations that affect the sensation which go into choosing a flogger. All else being equal:

Stingier <-- The fewer falls -- The more falls --> Thuddier

Stingier <-- Narrower the falls -- Wider the falls --> Thuddier

Stingier <-- Thinner the falls -- Thicker the falls --> Thuddier

Stingier <-- More dense the fall material -- Softer the fall material --> Thuddier

Stingier <-- Square cut edges -- Bevel cut edges --> Thuddier

Stingier <-- Pointed cut ends -- Square cut ends --> Thuddier

Longer falls add authority to what the flogger does and at the same time, makes using it in a softer, more delicate way more difficult.

Sensations. There simply is no written or verbal description by me or anyone else that substitutes for how a sensation feels. Which is the whole point. How it feels. But like most who engage in this exercise in futility, I will try.

• "Sensual". Soft, caressing, feels good to the skin in a delicate way. Fur, or very soft leathers like lamb or calf or chamois, or some deer skin. With enough leather, there can be an impact involved, but there is no "punch" or "sting" to it.

• "Slappy". Have you ever been slapped? Then you have an idea what "slappy" feels like. Like being slapped. A slappy character to a toy is good for a warm up toy. It comes from a thin, relatively soft leather with a modest fall count. There have to be enough falls to have substance to the impact, with an element of digging into the skin, but not too many falls else it gets spread over too wide an area and the impact is diffused. "Slappy" also results from how the toy is thrown. The toy has to be thrown in the right way to feel slappy. Sort of like pulling a bat in baseball.

• "Sting". Ever been stung by a bee, wasp, other insect? You have an idea what sting feels like. Which can vary in intensity. It depends on the nature of the material being used to produce the sting and how small the impact area is. The smaller and more concentrated in one spot it is, the stingier it will be. Singletail whips by definition are stingy. The one variable is intensity. The greater the area the impact is spread over, the less focused the sensation will be.

• "Thud or "Thuddy". Have you ever been punched? Or hit with a blunt object? Does not have to be a hard object. You have an idea what thud feels like. Like being punched. It's a dull, heavy impact. The thuddiest floggers are made with thick, soft, spongey leathers. Like Bison. But given enough leather put into the toy, any heavy leather can achieve a thud sensation. A heavy thud is the sort of "knock the wind out of you" kind of impact.

• "Bite" Bite is the characteristic of some leathers to dig into the skin adding a stingy element to a leather which is primarily some other sensation. "Thuddy with a bite", "Sensual with a bite". Bite is emphasized by square cut fall edges and reduced by beveled or eased edges.

• "Warm up" is not specific sensation, or toy even. It's an action, preparing the skin and relaxing the bottom for more intense sensations to follow. The bottom can take more for longer periods with a good warm-up than without. If you just whack on the bottom with the most intense toy you have right out of the box, you are pretty well assured of a play session that is over before you got started.

Lots of different implements can be used for warmup, depending on how it's used. Canes, spoons, or paddles ... or floggers. I like a warm up flogger to be a soft, sensual, relatively thin leather with not too great a fall count which has a slappy character to it. I can start with sensual sensation, then increase intensity to slappy impacts until ready to move on to some other, more intense toy.

 

[SweetMarie2323]

Thank you and keep it coming

Thank you everyone for all of your help! My experience is limited to a crop with a thin tip and my man's hands. I most definitely enjoy the stinging bite of our leather crop but now that I've done some reading I'd like to try the more "sensual" and/or "thudding" sensations.
Please keep the advice coming! We are not interested in joining any groups and we don't have any friends that we can talk to about our sex life so these forums are it for us.

 

[Aphro]

Holy crap. A science I never before even knew existed. I feel like there should be some sort of algorithm or something.

 

[Sweetdaisymae]

Holy crap. A science I never before even knew existed. I feel like there should be some sort of algorithm or something.

Start by thinking of a single fall in a dozen different types of leather.
If you were hit by each one, with exactly the same force, they will all feel different.
The trick is to blend them to make something that people want to use, to give a desired sensation.
Add a few falls, add a lot, add a second type of leather, or a third.
The colour is just the start of it!