New story. Something different, check it out.

[blackpenblueink]

http://english.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=267566&page=1

 

[AsylumSeeker]

http://english.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=267566&page=1

Yes, it is something different. Not quite my cup of tea but I did look at it with a critical eye although I skimmed over some long paragraphs. For the most part it was well written. There were minor errors with mixing past and present tense and some grammar issues but they were minor (makes me wonder if you submitted to an editor first ??).

Surprisingly good dialogue that at times sounded flat. I was rather hoping that something might be found on the computer that might spur on the remaining story. But a pretty good story overall, especially for those that are 'into' the topic.

 

[Carnevil9]

I enjoyed it. I like that little frisson that you get, wondering if he'll be caught. Good job!......Carney