New Story Reviews (volunteers welcome!)

[Tx Tall Tales]

The Ties That Bind Us by Slirpuff

As a stickler for grammar and self-editing, it was hard to stay involved with the story at the beginning. We all make mistakes, I know I've made enough, but multiples per paragraph is distracting.

Once the story moved from the 3rd person prologue to the first person husband's point of view, the grammar and writing improved dramatically. Still a lot of errors, but not enough to make the reading difficult.

The plot was somewhat plain vanilla. A wife cheats, her sister covering for her. The husband discovers the affair by accident and when he attempts to confront the adulterous couple, they speed into an intersection and a deadly car crash, killing the man, and leaving the wife in a coma.

The story follows the husbands slow discovery of the affair and how he deals with it. No revenge, no plot twists, nothing really interesting. When he finds out, he decides to divorce her, and when she wakes from ther coma she finds out and wants to talk it over but no dice. The characters are better developed than in Slirpuff's earlier work, but still somewhat one-dimensional, especially the kids. The story has some of the rawness of real-life to it.

Not a bad story, but it would benefit from better editing. No sex and no surprises, but if you're looking for a painful story about loss and the failure of a marriage due to stupid infidelity it might be for you.

 

[Tx Tall Tales]

Mona's story by LinnGKS

In Alaska, the couples fuck when it snows, not particularly particular about who they do it with. At one of their regular fuck parties, (after a relatively slow and meandering lead in) the women start discussing the size of their men's penises.

One woman has a monster of a man, and she gets her husband to display his meat to a gathering of women, in the den. He's 12 inches long (4 hand widths, and nearly as big as a beer can around.) The women are enthralled by his size and start fondling him, individually and in groups. When the men wander into the room they are, across the board, instantly cuckolded by the mere thought that every one of their women want that big cock that makes theirs appear so inadequate.

Two (maybe three) of the women take the man into a bedroom where he takes turns fucking them, gently of course. The rest of the crowd settle into the living room. The women to dream, and the men to ponder and fret over their own inadequacy.

Our author doesn't get any from the supremely endowned "Will" but wonders if she missed out.

The writing is above average, and pretty cleanly edited. The scene with the women succumbing to Will's size, each trying to get her hand on that huge cock has some eroticism to it, but the big finale, with Will taking on two of the ladies, is less satisfying.

An interesting story, and based on a true event as stated by the author. Not bad as stories go. Don't imagine a lot of men will enjoy it, unless they are similarly endowed (Don't look at me!)

 

[litfan10]

Remember, to comment on this, or any other review, go to this link: Comments/Suggestions on the New Story Review Thread

I just read Emerald Kitten's new story "Fall Lovin" http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=491627

First off, I have to admit that it was the writer's name that drew me to this story. I have had the pleasure of meeting EK in the threads this week and have been impressed with her a lot. I quickly jumped at the chance to read her work.

In a nut shell, Mina owns a floral shop and at twenty-eight is starting to feel life escape her. She has a long time friendship with Greg, and they come to the realization that the mutual decision of "it wouldn't work" is wrong and the relationship progresses.

My only negative is that there are no surprises. The story goes exactly where you think it will go, but, you know what, that is exactly what I wanted it to do. I was in the mood for a sweet romance and that is what EK delivers in spades. So this is only a negative if you want plot twists, angst, or conflict.

What was great about this story - and there was plenty to pick from - was the character development. The two main characters, Mina and Greg, progressed beautifully and with plenty of detail. They shared great dialogue and were very interesting. Absolutely loved them. The side character of Clara was an absolute hoot as well. In the end, I really am not finished with any of the three and I want more which speaks highly of the quality of the writer. The lack of errors on all levels of Standard English also speak highly of the writer's ability.

Also importantly, the sex was hot and fulfilling and fit well in style and description with the characters.

In the end this story is a great lesson in how to development characters to their full potential giving readers a great read.

 

[litfan10]

Remember, to comment on this, or any other review, go to this link: Comments/Suggestions on the New Story Review Thread
http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=428875&highlight=story

To follow up on a previous review I read the new story by Athalia, "Hot Tub and Whipped Cream" http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=491681

This story takes up where "Hot Tub Service Girl" ended. Our girl, Emily, moves in with Paul and Sarah and a very deep threesome relationship develops. To add to this situation Jeff, Paul and Sarah's son, comes home from college which greatly changes the dynamics of the situation.

Just like the story I previously reviewed here, this story is another great example of how to development characters perfectly. There is a tremendous amount of depth to these four characters. There is a lot of emotion and thinking. I absolutely love how real and developed all four are.

The pacing is great and the sex is even hotter than the first episode. The story develops very nicely. I really cannot find any faults to the entire piece.

Athalia is quickly establishing herself as a writer that I will instantly read whenever a new story is posted. This story is that well done. This is probably my favourite story that I have read this month so far. I hope you give it a try as it deserves readers.

 

[litfan10]

Remember, to comment on this, or any other review, go to this link: Comments/Suggestions on the New Story Review Thread
http://forum.literotica.com/showthre...ighlight=story

Well another installment to the Hot Tub series by Athalia "Hot Tub and Forbidden Fruit" has been released. http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=492741

The story continues where the last episode left off. Emily is now in the start of a relationship with Jeff while continuing her partnership with his parents, Sara and Paul. All four become more comfortable with the situation which causes the mother to start to have feelings for her own son.

As I mentioned in my review of the last part, the more I read Athalia the more I am becoming impressed with her writing and story-telling abilities. This episode more than ramps up my respect. These characters are very thoroughly thought out and developed. By the end of this chapter, all four, but especially Emily and Sara, are very pronounced characters and, best of all, quite endearing. These are characters I would love to meet and come to know as real people even friends.

The pacing is great; the sex is wonderful; the whole story is just a complete, well done package, arguably my favourite series currently being written here.

 

[fuckwaffle]

Remember, to comment on this, or any other review, go to this link: Comments/Suggestions on the New Story Review Thread
http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=428875

The Project by bobfr published on 8/11/2010

category: interracial

a newer story by bobfr about a man who is shown a vid on the internet and tells his buddy that's just how his wife looks when they have sex.

the buddy talks the guy into setting up his wife for a gangbang.

although this story type has been told many times in the IR and LW section bob does have his own style which i like. there were a few typo's but not enough to cause the gnashing of teeth.

currently it is graced with a red H and although the comments are mostly favorable a few do point out some glaring mis-steps in the story. one of them is the why would the wife do what she does. although she says she knows her husband wants her too they really never discuss it in depth.

all in all it was a fairly good read. i gave it 4 stars.

it has my

x 4.

 

[Athalia]

Bigfoot and the Wood Nymph

I'd like to comment on two stories published by Jehoram: "Bigfoot and the Wood Nymph" and its sequel "Bigfoot and the Wood Nymph 2"

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=493007

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=495081

(First, a disclaimer. I am sometimes an editor for Jehoram's stories, as he is a sometime editor of mine. But the content of these stories is entirely his own.)

What makes these stories intriguing for me is that they tell the same story: of two nature-loving "closet nudists" who happen to meet in the woods and fall in love. But the first story is told from the man's point of view, and the second from the woman's. This device allows the reader to get to know both characters in depth. They have different personalities and different motivations, and you learn in the second story that the "chance meeting" of the first story was anything but. We learn that Gretchen, the "wood nymph," is a woman firmly in control of her life, and that Gavin, the "Bigfoot" character, is in many ways her perfect complement, yielding to her life-style as she yields to his. (Or does she? It turns out that he changes more than she does, although the biggest change, from single people to married people with children, is a mutual one.)

The sex is hot, too. All the more so because it shows how complementary the two lovers are, each satisfying not only each other's primal urges but their imaginations as well. The hottest scene in both stories is where Gretchen admits to watching him masturbate and confesses a masturbation fantasy of her own, and the two lovers commence to make that fantasy real. They surrender their bodies and souls to each other, but only they have assessed each other's state of mind and liked what they saw.

I could read these stories again and again, unlike most erotica I've come across. I understand that Jehoram has no intention of continuing the series, and that is how it should be: these two people need nothing but each other, and a third person or event would be extraneous.

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

http://www.literotica.com/s/gabrielle-and-melissa

Doing some reviews again, for old times' sake.


Gabrielle and Melissa by Kitten 2009

Category: Lesbian Sex


I like the premise of this story, namely roommates who become sexually intimate. The fact that one of them has lived a very active sex life with men before is a twist which makes it more of a surprise despite seeing it coming. Still, there are some overuses of numbers instead of words and some run-on sentences. A 4 out of 5 for me here.

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

http://www.literotica.com/s/the-spanking-position

The Spanking Position by Amasterfound

Category: BDSM

Since I am married to the writer, there is some bias here, but there is also a lot of truly great spanking and sensual male dominance. The writer shows her serious fondness for spanking and bondage with this emotionally charged story. It has a bit more orgasm denial than I would personally enjoy, but that's her thing. I also noted a little bit of her trademark cock size obsession, but that's a personal quirk as well. If you know and love her work as I do (granted, you probably don't love the author herself as I do), you can look past that. I do wish, however, that she would have reduced the haiku usage, since it was a bit distracting at times. All in all, a truly sexy BDSM tale.

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

http://www.literotica.com/s/the-bottom-was-only-the-beginning-ch-01-02?page=2

The Bottom Was Only The Beginning by Bound Wide Open

Category: Anal

This tale has a lot of great stuff, such as cheating, blackmail, anal, and sheer kinkiness. Only its poor punctuation and use of passive voice, as well as the obsession with what is or isn't gay are negatives. I like the overall premise and the way it seems to be an excellent start. I look forward to reading more. 4 out of 5.

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

Whole Series Reviewed Here- The Lady Executive Ch. 1-10. by vickienight.
http://www.literotica.com/s/the-lady-executive-ch-09?page=3


Category: Novels and Novellas


Believable characters, very human, a bit of mystery and corporate intrigue, and just enough redeeming traits for me to almost forget that Joanie is a corporate ball buster and Bailey a bit of a hypocrite for dumping her cheating husband after she cheats with Joanie. All in all, very gritty, very tense, nail-biting, naughty fun. I'm hooked. I don't even want to know if this is based on your RL experiences, since it doesn't matter. I'm eager to see what happens to them all in the end. Some kind of resolution would be good, though presumably it won't be all wine and roses. Well done narrative in all aspects.


I gave it a perfect 5 and sent an e-mail to the author.