New story on it's way

[woodcarverII]

I have a new story that is going to post in a day or two and wanted to post a small snipet of it here for some early reviews.





Oh what the hell......I'm just diggin for compliments. I also wanted to post the urls for the three other stories that I've written.


Could someone please tell me what they think...good, bad or indifferent?


The snipet is in the post to follow. Then the urls!


Thanks in advance.

 

[woodcarverII]

here is the snippet from the new one. Basically this is the first of a saga that I'm trying to develop. The first part is a reflective look at the main character's past. I plan to run the full gammit on this guy and just see what happens as I write it. There might not be as much sex as some people want but it's a matter of practice for me on a book that I'm planning. I want to see if I can stay on course and keep the character somewhat more real that I have been able to in the past :


“I know you’re a smart man Mike, tell me what you’re thinking right now, right here.” I could feel her sweet breath on my mouth.

“I think that this is the point that I’m supposed to kiss you or something.” We were so close at this point that I could feel the heat from her mixing with my own.

“You get an A.”

How many people remember that first grown-up kiss? You know who it was. You know where it happened. You remember the taste, the feel and the excitement. The thing is you remember every last detail and it becomes a living thing. It’s a memory that you relive and it never looses a bit of the magic.

It was several moments before we pulled apart. Now mind you, there was no tongue or anything, but it was totally the sensual thing that I will ever experience. Well, up to that point.

“Now, Mr. Jones, let’s stay on the subject. Oh and by the way, you get an A for effort as well.” She settled back a little, but snaked her feet into my lap. Without thinking, I dropped my hands to them and started rubbing them.
“I want you to go with me. This is a one-time offer and I need an answer before the end of the evening. So here’s my offer.”

I was trying to think and rub her feet. That kiss did something to me that seemed to ease all the nervousness. “I’m listening.”

“I want you to go with me and live with me. You will pay your own way, but I think that I can help you secure either a student loan to help with your school expenses, or we can apply now for a scholarship.” She eased down into the couch a little more and I swear she was trying to feel the newly reborn erection I was sporting at the time.

 

[woodcarverII]

here are the links to the other stories.....I hope. These were the first attempts I made last year and so they are a bit rough:

http://www.literotica.com:81/stories/showstory.php?id=119458

http://www.literotica.com:81/stories/showstory.php?id=119459

http://www.literotica.com:81/stories/showstory.php?id=119460

 

[woodcarverII]

no one's gonna say anything?

 

[Day'sNights]

no one's gonna say anything?

In the 16 minutes since you first posted that you were going to post links, no one read the links and gave a thoughtful reply on what they had read? How rude of them.

 

[woodcarverII]

In the 16 minutes since you first posted that you were going to post links, no one read the links and gave a thoughtful reply on what they had read? How rude of them.

sorry...I'm kinda like a kid in a candy store at times. My most heartfelt apologies.

 

[Day'sNights]

I've read your snippet, and "The Club Ch. 1", and I like your writing style. The Club was an entertaining story, and I'll probably read the rest when it is written (unless the other 2 links are for the rest, in which case I'll read it later today or tomorrow).

Some people find spelling, punctuation and other mistakes to be a bit distracting from the story, and I'm one of them. An editor for your work might be a good idea. An example of an 'other mistakes' would be this sentence

"We I started to shimmy out of the shorts." The kind of things the spelling tools in word programs don't usually pick up.

As for you being a "kid in a candy store", my hubby has ADHD, so he procrastinates 'til the last minute and then demands immediate action from everyone else once he decides it has to be done NOW. He also enthusiasticly describes everything as if it was the first time it was seen/read/happened to by anyone, anytime, ever in the entire world. --- I was just teasing you for your enthusiasm. <grin> No offense meant.

 

[dr_mabeuse]

I read the Club Chapter 1, and I think the reason why you might not be getting the responses you’re looking for is that it’s told in second-person (“I/you”), which most people around here don’t seem to like and some just downright refuse to read. In this this story especially the second-person voice seems strange, because you seem to be telling “me” (as your wife or girlfiriend) what it was I did at this club. I mean, I was there, right? So why are you telling me what I did? It goves the story a funny, kind of off-kilter flavor.

But the thing that most detracted from the potential heat of the story for me was that there was so little concrete description and detail, and not much emotion. I really like to see a scene, and see just who’s where and doing what, how they’re doing it, the expression on their face and things like that. Maybe it’s just me, but I like graphic detail, and I didn’t get it in this story.

Still, the prose was straight ahead, and I’m sure a lot of people will like it. I wish you the best with it.

---dr.M.

 

[woodcarverII]

Thanks you too. I'm actually open-minded enough to take the advice and apply it to future writings.

 

[stray_girl]

Hey there woodcarverII,

I found your snippet above much more interesting than your story The Club Ch. 01. I agree with much of what dr.M said in his post. I want more emotional impact You started to alude to it in the part, " As it cracked open, you squeezed my hand in assurance and we entered." Then you kind of just left it alone. Also, I'm one of those people who will usually stop reading stories written in the second-person.

Your snippet was intriguing. I wanted to know more about your characters, they seemed worth getting to know. Is the female an older woman? I'm just curious.

Genna

 

[woodcarverII]

Hey there woodcarverII,

I found your snippet above much more interesting than your story The Club Ch. 01. I agree with much of what dr.M said in his post. I want more emotional impact You started to alude to it in the part, " As it cracked open, you squeezed my hand in assurance and we entered." Then you kind of just left it alone. Also, I'm one of those people who will usually stop reading stories written in the second-person.

Your snippet was intriguing. I wanted to know more about your characters, they seemed worth getting to know. Is the female an older woman? I'm just curious.

Genna

yes she is older. Six years older. Her character is going to be developed in the second part, which I'm working on right now.

 

[woodcarverII]

Well the story is up finally and here is the link.

One of these days I'll figure out how to attach the urls to my profile.

I'll be at the barn all day so I'll see y'all tonight.

Please read it?!?!?!?!?

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=152380

 

[eric shawn listo]

read your story. liked it. left feedback.

can someone tell this newbie how to put links to my stories in my posts?
so many of you do and it seems a great idea. i guess i'm not savvy enough to figure it out.

esl

 

[dr_mabeuse]

My method might be stone age, but it works for me.

(1) Go open up your story

(3) copy the URL that's in the address box at the top of the browser window (you should be able to do this with Internet Explorer by right-clicking on it)

(4) Come back to this board or whatever board you want to post your link from.

(5) Write your message, and then just hit "paste", and it should paste the link to your story.

(6) Test your link by clicking on it yourself.

You can also post a link to your member page--the one where you have all your stories posted--by copying that URL and pasting it into your signature line in your profile. Giving the link a snappy name like "My demented howlings" is pushing my tech envelope though. I think I had someone else do it for me.

---dr.M.

 

[eric shawn listo]

Sorry to misuse you to learn but I did like your tale.

esl

http://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=372548&page=submissions:heart:

 

[eric shawn listo]

one more time with your indulgence.
http://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=372548&page=submissions

 

[eric shawn listo]

Thankyou. I no longer feel like an idiot. Though I'll probably forget as***her mouth surrounded his sucking the very essence of life from*** ahhh, that's crap. read my stuff!

esl

http://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=372548&page=submissions

 

[eric shawn listo]

Woody, thank you for letting my moronic mind figure this out. I will read you for ever.

esl

 

[woodcarverII]

Woody, thank you for letting my moronic mind figure this out. I will read you for ever.

esl

okay so I am not the best in editing. It's really kinda hard redoing your own work, or at least it is for me still. I will endeavor to do better in the future.

Most of the stuff that I've written to date is more along editorials or publications. There isn't the need for imagination for the largest part. I was really trying to develop a better sense for characters and story flow.

 

[eric shawn listo]

Hey dude, wasn't being down on you about the mistakes so much, once you were writing the sex you had it. Just set the scene with as much as you do the hot stuff and you're wild and someone I want to read.

esl

http://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=372548&page=submissions

 

[woodcarverII]

Hey dude, wasn't being down on you about the mistakes so much, once you were writing the sex you had it. Just set the scene with as much as you do the hot stuff and you're wild and someone I want to read.

esl

http://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=372548&page=submissions

I'm thinking about writing the next leg of this thing from her perspective to build her character a little.

 

[eric shawn listo]

Sounds interesting. She's the one we're watching.

esl

My stories: http://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=372548&page=submissions

 

[woodcarverII]

wow.....I'm amazed.

I have a 4.70 on this new story. I know that there are others out there that have attained a higher rating, but this is the highest that I have ever had.

Thanks for all of you who have read and voted on it!

 

[eric shawn listo]

By the way dr_m. Thanks!

esl