New story, new aurthor

[rkauf1234]

Hi all,

I would very much like any and all comment on the story I have just written and posted here. It’s the first part of what could be 2 or 3 additional parts. Any comments will be gladly accepted and I thank you in advance for taking the time to read, post, and vote on my story!

Here is the Link:

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=122797


Thanks,
RK

 

[SouthSkyEyes]

RK ...

I read your story and offer my thoughts at large, based on what I most enjoy, hoping you receive it in the same spirit offered ...

The phrases you use to describe physical sexual stimulation are truly titillating and stir the imagination, at least my imagination and unquestionably your vivid hot erotic imagination.

If your intent is to write for a broader audience appreciation, I recommend (without regard to order):

1 - Be more thorough in editing your writing for spelling and grammar; most people are more critical of sex-speak when reading it as compared to when hearing it in their own bedroom or stream of conscious imagination.

2 - For me, the most provoking, titillating, arousing writings focus deeper than the surface details of sex. Yes, I truly get off on passages offering the hot, raw, sticky details of arousal and orgasms, and forbidden pleasures.
But if the majority of the story consists of such details, as does yours, it is for me as though ... going to a 4th of July fireworks display that consists of not much more than the grand finale. Hey, that's my favorite part, but it would leave me feeling a bit empty, wanting for more, if there was little leading up to it.

3 - Your story line, though rather unrealistic in real life is nonetheless fanciful; the reader's imagination can be inticed to ride your story line, and enjoy it and "get off" on it. However, if you intend to place hot heavy passages within a story line for others to enjoy you should seek to build the story, develop it, tying it together with more than the sinews of raw sexuality.

I recommend the following two excercises:

A - Imagine a story, from the darkest forbidden depths of your imagination (even if you decide to keep it strictly to your self), a story that is fertile soil for hot heavy sex, but first draft it leaving out the titillating sexual details. Then after letting it set for a bit, start weaving in some of the hot sexual details. If you're sufficiently self critical you'll recognize the difference between
the level of explicit sexual detail of your imagination that are yours to appreciate and those your intended audience would appreciate reading. This is where audience taste and preference comes in, I don't propose what I enjoy writing is what the majority necessarily enjoys reading.

B - Let loose your imagination and let the short passages of hot titillating sexual details flow forth, without judgement, without concern for grammar or punctuation, without regard to story-line or if others might enjoy reading them. Indulge yourself and do this over the course of a few weeks, making note of what turns you on the most, what
makes you most jealous, most envious, what brings you to your edge. Test these edges. Claim your most joyous and darkest fears and desires. Don't worship them just claim them. From this you'll garner a better sense of where you want to take your writing.

Best wishes and respectfully,

SouthSkyEyes

 

[rkauf1234]

Hi South,

Thanks so much for a great, and detailed reply. It was just what I wanted, or hoped to hear from the reads of the story! There was a lot of info, and I thank you for the time you took to post it, as I will, no doubt, use the info provided!

The spelling and grammar is one thing I am bad with, I have been looking over the editors that offer that time, and will decide on one before long. I think that will help the most with that problem.

Thank you again for all you ideas, and feedback!
RK

 

[SouthSkyEyes]

RK ...

You are most welcome.

Best wishes and be sure to let me know when your next story is posted,


SouthSkyEyes

 

[rkauf1234]

I will be sure to let you know when the next story is posted.

Thanks again,
RK