New Story! ...it will make you go WOW!

[Guest]

Greetings all... sort of a teaser here. This is acutally part of a longer story, but in itself it's a great stand alone.

Find it at:

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=38471

It's part of my pseudo-shared universe of "Sin City Walker"... please vote and tell me what you think!

Maintain and Check Six!

 

[Chantal Marchon]

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Cool story- problem 1- flop houses is spelled flop hoses.The description is great. I like the part about wall paper peeling off the walls like banana skins. Really good active verb usuage, gives the piece more life.

problem 2 - I may be incorrect, but I think that "city that never sleeps' might need to be captalized as it is often used as a title.

Problem 3- "there's more to life than the bottom of a vodka bottle." -- you used "that" instead of "than" have to finish the rest of it later. Real life calls.

Ok- back to that- I didn't read it as cloely the second time, but nothing stuck out as being out of place or odd. I do like the way it finished. Now if ever there was a vampire that needed some help with a social life this was it.

Good Luck on your publishing.

Have you ever published before?

 

[Guest]

I have been published in electronic magazines online... still looking for that elusive first print publication.

Want to thank everyone that's read the story and voted! Keep the feedback coming and the votes...it gives me great incentive to keep writing!

Maintain and Check Six!