New Story: Another high school story

[yoyo1342]

Hey folks, just started writing my first story. Mostly writing it for my own entertainment, but it'd be nice to get some feedback. If you've got anything to say about it, gimme a holler. Thanks!

 

[sammy_sludge]

Here's a totally out-of-the-blue question, but what's the typical age for a senior in the U.S (which is where I believe this story was supposed to be)? I see a nearly 19 year old as the character here, and I've seen it in other stories, so I'm curious. I suspect it's so that the younger sister is 18.

In Canada I think it's Grade+five at the beginning of the year. First grade=six, 12th grade (last before graduating) is 17, with first year university/college students being 18.

As I said, just asking out of curiousity. I suppose we could say what a dummy she is that she failed and is in the same grade as her younger sister! ;-) (haven't read far enough to determine if the sister's in the same grade or not.

 

[yoyo1342]

Yeah, I decided not to bore the reader with the backstory of how a perfectly bright, generally responsible young person such as Kyle/Danielle ended up a year behind in school. So I'll go ahead and do it here. You see, Kyle/Dani unfortunately had a congenital inner ear abnormality when he/she was young such that he/she was deaf until the age of 5, which hindered their learning. At that point, a talented ear/nose/throat surgeon had invented a procedure which allowed them to correct it. Initially, Kyle and Danielle were actually two full grades behind everyone else, but were able to skip 4th grade thanks to intensive tutoring.

The end result is that at the time of the story, Kyle/Danielle is almost a year too old for his/her grade, and Rachel is about right.

Generally speaking though, yes, grade+5 is the rule of thumb in the U.S. as well.

The truth is that I would happily avoid the ambiguity entirely if it were plausible to have twenty year old in high school. The principle point of doing a high school story is the interest of high school classes, and the tidy structure of a high school students day. The age ambiguity is an unpleasant side-effect, and one that I largely try to ignore in the story.

 

[fakeout001]

Now that the age problem is explained/solved, tell me why you keep rejecting my thread & denying a character I mention you first wrote about in the thread at:

http://www.chyoo.com/index.php/main.story.page/131686/131582

EDIT: See it got approved (after several denials) after I wrote this post.

 

[yoyo1342]

You're absolutely right however, that in the previous thread I mentioned that it was the stepdad's computer, that was an unfortunate copy/paste error from the Danielle MC half of the story. That's my bad. I've now fixed your thread and thread before it so that it talk about the stepmom.

 

[yoyo1342]

I would further note though, for the record, that it requires certain amount of willful ignorance to read the story from "Square peg!" and fail to understand the family dynamics. The mistake I made was in a brief mention in a sentence long linking thread. I find it hard to believe that you could possibly have actually been sufficiently confused as to write the thread you did.

 

[fakeout001]

I would further note though, for the record, that it requires certain amount of willful ignorance to read the story from "Square peg!" and fail to understand the family dynamics. The mistake I made was in a brief mention in a sentence long linking thread. I find it hard to believe that you could possibly have actually been sufficiently confused as to write the thread you did.

YOU make a mistake on a story YOU created, & made a thread here about problems with. I write a thread based on that mistake, & you deny it several times, giving the reason that I made the mistake. I in turn continue to submit my thread, mentioning your mistake, & even pointing-out the Web address for the thread where you messed-up. You finally accept it, & when I check it again, you have changed half the pronouns.

Now, I see you are calling me willfully ignorant. Let's be honest about this: Admit I am not ignorant in any way, & you are wrong in several.

 

[yoyo1342]

Look, I'm content to let the record stand at this point. I don't think that I've been unreasonable. I did indeed make a mistake, but it was a small one. I was happy to correct MY mistake, as I was happy to correct YOUR mistake.

However, I started writing this story primarily for my entertainment, not to be bogged down in petty feuds. If you find a problem in the story, write in the forum here, be patient, and I promise I'll look at them and fix them if it seems appropriate.

If you have a problem with how I'm editing the story, no one is holding a gun to your head, start your own story, and have fun!

That said, if you continue to act in a way that I view to be in bad faith, I will block you.

Ok. Thank you for your input and enjoy the rest of your day!

 

[yoyo1342]

Ha! Since I wrote that last post, you have changed the wording back once again to be about a stepfather that doesn't exist. Change it immediately, or I will change it and block you.

 

[fakeout001]

Ha! Since I wrote that last post, you have changed the wording back once again to be about a stepfather that doesn't exist. Change it immediately, or I will change it and block you.

I already said on the thread Notes after 1 of your denials that I only wrote he thread for the stepdad, & you might as well delete it otherwise. I continue to say that.

Oh, but the stepdad doesn't exist, you say? Read what you yourself have written in the thread prior to mine:

"As you climb back up the stairs to get ready for school you notice that your stepmom’s office door is open, his computer is on, and quickly poking your head in to his bedroom, you can hear him whistling in the shower."

So is it further mistakes on YOUR part, or does he have the first (that I'm aware) bi/tranny stepparent?

 

[yoyo1342]

You're absolutely right. Once again, that's my mistake. I've corrected the thread to read "her", "her", and "her". Since, you've asked, I will happily delete your thread... I'm sorry this all seems to have upset you so much.

I'm writing all of this fairly quickly, and especially at the beginning of the male thread, I did a lot of copy and pasting. I'm going to be making a lot of mistakes. At the moment I've focussed mostly on the Danielle part of the story, and I'm constantly correcting errors. I don't at all mind having my mistakes pointed out to me, and I will do my best to correct them.

So, please feel free to continue writing threads for the story if you want. But my perception of our interactions is that you have been belligerent, and I'm out of patience. So play nice.

 

[yoyo1342]

Woof... see?! Look at that post! I make a lot of mistakes!

 

[fakeout001]

You're absolutely right. Once again, that's my mistake. I've corrected the thread to read "her", "her", and "her". Since, you've asked, I will happily delete your thread... I'm sorry this all seems to have upset you so much. I will, as you request, delete your thread.

I'm writing all of this fairly quickly, and especially at the beginning of the male thread, I did a lot of copy and pasting. I'm going to be making a lot of request. At the moment I've focussed mostly on the Danielle part of the story, and I'm constantly correcting errors. I don't at all mind having my mistakes pointed out to me, and I will do my best to correct them.

So, please feel free to continue writing threads for the story if you want. But my perception of our interactions is that you have been belligerent, and I'm out of patience. So play nice.

I have written for several stories on this site, had more threads than I know the quantity of approved, & had "trusted" status on several of them (including yours at one time). If that leaves me any right, it is the right to tell you that you can't expect to make requests on stories you create/write. If you want things to go a certain way, have you heard of Literotica? They re very welcoming of stories that go in 1 direction the whole time.

If you want to focus on the female-MC side, I would have no problem with that. In fact, I'd be more than happy to basically split the story with you. As many would probably tell you, I write the male characters better 98% of the time. I simply write based on what comes in previous threads, & therein lies the problem we had.

I'm not belligerent. However, if anyone has run out of patience in this situation, it's me.

 

[yoyo1342]

I'm sure that, experienced Chyoo writer that you are, you know that it's possible to see every thread that any writer has written, right? Unless I'm missing something (quite possible), you've written a grand total 6 threads in the last week, and that is all. Three of those have been approved. One of those is the one that I just deleted.

Leaving that aside, I don't think that it's at all unreasonable to "make requests on stories you create/write". I believe that is actually commonplace. Moreover, that's why each story has a thing called an "editor" which is by default the story's creator. So that that story can be edited to the creator's liking.

Finally, even if it were not the "right" of the author to "make requets" of people writing on his story, it would seem like common decency to read at least a substantial portion of what the author has written before proceeding to jump in and write your own threads.

Anyway, I'm done with this. I wish you the best of luck in all of your endeavors, but that will not include writing in my story.

 

[fakeout001]

I've done my best to re-write the thread properly, but it doesn't seem to show-up in the story or my list of "Threads".

 

[fakeout001]

I'm sure that, experienced Chyoo writer that you are, you know that it's possible to see every thread that any writer has written, right? Unless I'm missing something (quite possible), you've written a grand total 6 threads in the last week, and that is all. Three of those have been approved. One of those is the one that I just deleted.

Leaving that aside, I don't think that it's at all unreasonable to "make requests on stories you create/write". I believe that is actually commonplace. Moreover, that's why each story has a thing called an "editor" which is by default the story's creator. So that that story can be edited to the creator's liking.

Finally, even if it were not the "right" of the author to "make requets" of people writing on his story, it would seem like common decency to read at least a substantial portion of what the author has written before proceeding to jump in and write your own threads.

Anyway, I'm done with this. I wish you the best of luck in all of your endeavors, but that will not include writing in my story.

I am well-aware about being able to see what someone has written, which is why I was long ago aware that you seem to have only written for that 1 story you created. I now have to wonder if that's because you knew your threads for others would have mistakes, & be heavily rewritten, if not denied entirely. Suffice it to say you do not know my history.

I have been an editor on stories, & I am well aware also what power that position entails. It certainly includes rewriting threads, & accepting or denying them. However, it does not (not inevitably, anyway) include making such requests on how someone writes a thread. Also, I read everything in the threads before mine for the Male MC; It simply wasn't written the right way, it seems.

 

[yoyo1342]

Yeah, curiously, your thread and the thread immediately proceeding it (the thread that was the basis of the error), have been deleted. Possibly by a moderator(?)

P.S. if a moderator did delete those threads, could they please just make a note of it somewhere?

 

[fakeout001]

Yeah, curiously, your thread and the thread immediately proceeding it (the thread that was the basis of the error), have been deleted. Possibly by a moderator(?)

As I heard once years ago, "Don't question; Just be thankful."

 

[rajrani131313]

Cena romántica con un toque especial.

Originales , Cenas romanticas , Romanticos.
Quieres que tu cena romántica sea romántica o no? si lo que buscas es sorprenderla, una cena llena de velas, música romántica y un buen vino pueden ser los mejores compañeros para una noche especial, piensa en algo que el de un toque especial como una caminata bajo las estrellas, un baile con su canción favorita, en fin lo que les guste, para hacer de esa velada una noche única.
http://volopapilio.com.mx/cenas-Romanticas.html

 

[yoyo1342]

The story so far...

Hey folks, so I'm fairly happy with the story so far. I've written a lot, and it seems to be drawing a lot of views. However, I am slowly running out of steam I think. I've got at least two or three more big chunks that I want to write, but I may start a new story at that point, and let this sit for a while.

The above argument not withstanding, I'm really looking forward to having people write some threads to take the story in different directions. So please do!

Cheers!

 

[fakeout001]

Hey folks, so I'm fairly happy with the story so far. I've written a lot, and it seems to be drawing a lot of views. However, I am slowly running out of steam I think. I've got at least two or three more big chunks that I want to write, but I may start a new story at that point, and let this sit for a while.

The above argument not withstanding, I'm really looking forward to having people write some threads to take the story in different directions. So please do!

Cheers!

Let's try to take this story in different directions! For instance, one with a Male MC! (Not the first; I can't believe how many stories on the site claim to be for "Male Or Female" & then only written for 1 from the Intro- thread.)

Maybe ask rajrani131313 to help you; It's not English, but it's probably correct sentence structure in some language, & the gender matches throughout.

 

[yoyo1342]

I love the crack about sentence structure. I only wish I'd saved an original copy of the thread you tried to write for my story. You know, before I edited it such that it made sense.

On the other hand, I do feel bad about the Male MC thing. It was my first story, and I thought I was going to be interested in doing the whole high school thing both ways, but it has turned out not to be the case. Oh well. Hopefully someone with a knack for writing will come along and want to write that. Or maybe I'll come back to it in two weeks when the fatigue has worn off and write it myself.

 

[Torg]

Yeah, I decided not to bore the reader with the backstory of how a perfectly bright, generally responsible young person such as Kyle/Danielle ended up a year behind in school. So I'll go ahead and do it here. You see, Kyle/Dani unfortunately had a congenital inner ear abnormality when he/she was young such that he/she was deaf until the age of 5, which hindered their learning. At that point, a talented ear/nose/throat surgeon had invented a procedure which allowed them to correct it. Initially, Kyle and Danielle were actually two full grades behind everyone else, but were able to skip 4th grade thanks to intensive tutoring.

The end result is that at the time of the story, Kyle/Danielle is almost a year too old for his/her grade, and Rachel is about right.

Generally speaking though, yes, grade+5 is the rule of thumb in the U.S. as well.

The truth is that I would happily avoid the ambiguity entirely if it were plausible to have twenty year old in high school. The principle point of doing a high school story is the interest of high school classes, and the tidy structure of a high school students day. The age ambiguity is an unpleasant side-effect, and one that I largely try to ignore in the story.

Actually, the rule is that you enter 12th Grade at 17, but you turn 18 sometime during the year. I turned 18 in November of my Senior year. Some people in my class had their 18th birthday the first week in September. They were very popular, because, at the time, legal drinking age was 18, and they could buy beer.

So, it's not that outlandish that two sisters, nearly a year apart, would be in the same grade. One born in July-August and the other born the previous year in September. "Irish Twins".

 

[fakeout001]

I love the crack about sentence structure. I only wish I'd saved an original copy of the thread you tried to write for my story. You know, before I edited it such that it made sense.

On the other hand, I do feel bad about the Male MC thing. It was my first story, and I thought I was going to be interested in doing the whole high school thing both ways, but it has turned out not to be the case. Oh well. Hopefully someone with a knack for writing will come along and want to write that. Or maybe I'll come back to it in two weeks when the fatigue has worn off and write it myself.

All you did was edit my story so it fit the thread that you had admittedly (& repeatedly) messed-up on. Add to that the fact you edited the thread so it had the character referred to as a male sometimes, & female others.

Someone with a knack for writing did try their best to help you. You attacked them, & :edited" their threads with worse results, to the point your thread & theirs got removed.

 

[yoyo1342]

Man fakeout, I don't know who you think you're fooling, but not me. This will be the last time that I respond to a comment from you.