You are doing a nice job with the visuals, and focusing on your nervousness is a strong positive as well.
But you are also rushing. If you get too turned on, masturbate a few times, then come back. Or use this as the outline and keep adding transitional material.
One of the things you should have or should be learning as a sub, is patience.
Feel free to PM me for further feedback.
Nice work too, definitive talent--now just time for the hard work.
