New Statue

~melia~

Literotica Guru
Joined
Oct 22, 2000
Posts
583
A woman was in bed with her lover, Steve, when she heard her husband opening the front door.

"Hurry!" she said. "Stand in the corner."

She quickly rubbed baby oil all over him and then she dusted him with talcum powder.

"Don't move until I tell you to," she whispered. "Just pretend you're a statue."

"What's this honey?" the husband inquired as he entered the room.

"Oh, it's just a statue," she replied nonchalantly. "The Martins bought one for their bedroom. I liked it so much, I got one for us, too."

No more was said about the statue -- not even later that night when they went to sleep.

Around two in the morning the husband got out of bed,
went to the kitchen and returned a while later with a sandwich and a glass of milk.

"Here," he said to the 'statue'. "Eat something. I stood like an idiot at the Martins for three days and nobody offered me so much as a glass of water."
 
Here's another one

Please Try Your Luck Again

Two men drove to a gas station for a fill-up because they
heard about a contest being offered by the station to
patrons who purchase a full tank of gas.

When they went inside to pay, the men asked the
attendant about the contest.

"If you win, you're entitled to free sex," said the attendant.

"How do we enter?" asked the first man.

"Well, I'm thinking of a number between 1-10, if you guess
right, you win free sex."

"O.K. I guess 7, " said the first man.

"Sorry, I was thinking of 8," replied the attendant. "Come
back soon and try again"

The next week, the two men returned to the same station to
get gas.

When they went inside to pay, the second man asked the
attendant if the contest was still going on.

"Sure," replied the attendant. "I'm thinking of a number
between 1-10, if you guess right. You win free sex."

"2" said the second man

"Sorry, I was thinking of 3," replied the attendant.
"Come back soon and try again."

As they walked back to the car, the first man said to the second
man,"You know, I'm beginning to think this contest is rigged."

"No way," said the second man. "My wife won twice last week."
 
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