New Series

[soflabbwlvr]

My newest story is up, it is my first foray into the Loving Wives den. I would appreciate any feedback, whether positive or negative. Desperate Measures: The Fluffer

Enjoy!

 

[soflabbwlvr]

I want to thank everyone who has read and left comments for Desperate Measures: The Fluffer, the first installment in my new anthology series. This story is on pace to be my most viewed story by next week. It has already received more comments than any previous story. Most of the comments are from my biggest fan, the gentleman who identifies himself as "Anonymous." Some of his insghts include the following:

Not a troll, and this is a pile of shit
06/08/11 By: Anonymous
Hopefully hubby will see the video and kill her when she gets home.

Murder solves everything. Thank you for that piece of wisdom, Anonymous.

100% bullshit
06/06/11 By: Anonymous
A cheating slut is a cheating slut you can wrap it up in pretty pink bows but if it smells like shit, then it is shit.

Problem cannot be resolved!
06/05/11 By: Anonymous
No amount of good writing can cover up this much crap.

toro
06/05/11 By: Anonymous
poo

Anonymous seems to have a fascination with excrement. I'm happy that my writing helps him get everything out.

i've read some
06/05/11 By: Anonymous
i've read some bad ones but five pages of this crap your one of the worst but anybody who would sign their name to this can't be to bright so nothing i could say to you that someone hasn't already said and a sicko like you is already dead and just doesn't know it.

Apparently I am also a zombie. Good to know! I might use that in the next installment. Anyway, at least I haven't forgotten how to use the cap and comma keys.

Well. Enough
06/05/11 By: Anonymous
This website is now to the point where they will allow anything to be printed. This thing is terrible, it made me feel ill.

I'm sorry to hear that, but I have to ask: Why did you keep reading it?

 

[Grimfalcon]

Unfortunately, that was about all it did for me. Overall, I can say I really didn’t care for it. I can see what you were trying to do, not necessarily a bad short story idea; it was a good idea, but with the wrong execution in my opinion.

I did notice some tense and sentence structure issues, and may have just been my preference in writing style; I read through it pretty fast, as it really didn’t spark my interest. As for the writing as a whole, dialogue and presentation, I would have given it a 2.5 if voting based purely on that. Your VE did a decent job with the material they had to work with.

My first impression was it read much like the porn scenes in the story. The plot itself was one-dimensional and the character base and story history was pretty shallow; typical for a short ‘stroker’ story from what I’ve seen.

I can see why you received some of the hostile feedback you did. The whole ‘cheating wife’ thing is a sensitive subject as it is with some people, but when you throw the hostility of their broken relationship into it, it made for an unrealistic ‘staged’ drama. In all honesty I don’t see how their relationship digressed to that point and they’re still married. I don’t know of too many women, that will give a 45 min blowjob to a man that humiliates and degrades them, not even trying to hide the fact from her that he sits in his office masturbating all day, and they obviously don’t love one another any longer. There was no reason whatsoever for her to put up with that kind of verbal and mental abuse from a male character with no redeeming qualities, once again a plot hole IMO. Maybe hinting, or the implied situation, of her husband’s inattentiveness and porn addiction, while their relationship teetered in the balance, would have been a better rout to go. You don’t necessarily have to stuff things like that down a reader’s throat to get the point across.

Money and desperation will drive people to do nearly anything, and if you combine that with a sexual neglect, then yes, I can see a woman like her making the choice that she did. Take it for what's it worth, but other then that, I think this story needs some serious work.

 

[elfin_odalisque]

My newest story is up, it is my first foray into the Loving Wives den. I would appreciate any feedback, whether positive or negative. Desperate Measures: The Fluffer

Enjoy!

ROFLMAO. You are some wicked dude with a masochistic death wish.

Oh, the stereotypes, the impossibility and the extreme caricatures were hilarious and your well-flagged intention to stir the hornets' nest of righteous indignation were exquisite. I loved every outrageous line.

To be fair, your quotes of the downside comments would be even funnier if you'd added a few of the positive comments - it would have proved beyond doubt the dichotomy (and ridiculousness) of LW.

Off to chortle over a glass of vino. Very well done and I await more. *snigger*

 

[jeninflorida]

My newest story is up, it is my first foray into the Loving Wives den. I would appreciate any feedback, whether positive or negative. Desperate Measures: The Fluffer

Enjoy!

and how has the feedback been so far?

 

[jeninflorida]

lol, one must have thick skin when writing a LW story

I want to thank everyone who has read and left comments for Desperate Measures: The Fluffer, the first installment in my new anthology series. This story is on pace to be my most viewed story by next week. It has already received more comments than any previous story. Most of the comments are from my biggest fan, the gentleman who identifies himself as "Anonymous." Some of his insghts include the following:



Murder solves everything. Thank you for that piece of wisdom, Anonymous.







Anonymous seems to have a fascination with excrement. I'm happy that my writing helps him get everything out.



Apparently I am also a zombie. Good to know! I might use that in the next installment. Anyway, at least I haven't forgotten how to use the cap and comma keys.



I'm sorry to hear that, but I have to ask: Why did you keep reading it?

 

[soflabbwlvr]

and how has the feedback been so far?

Very encouraging!

 

[estragon]

soflabbwlovr, You Know My Comment

But I'll repeat it here: The Trolls Have No Names

But the pros, like StangStar, liked your story. And I liked it. So the trolls can climb back under the rocks.

 

[soflabbwlvr]

But I'll repeat it here: The Trolls Have No Names

But the pros, like StangStar, liked your story. And I liked it. So the trolls can climb back under the rocks.

Thanks again, Estragon