New, need advice from female perspective

[Barbarian_Bride]

I have been looking at the infomation on being dom... husband and I are new to the lifestyle and we want me to be the domme.

Are there some women that can give me some advice or point me in the direction to find information on dom from a woman's perspective?

 

[satindesire]

http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=266656

Here is the BDSM library, chock full of all kinds of Dommey goodness. Check that out and see if you can find something awesome you love.

 

[DeservingBitch]

I have been looking at the infomation on being dom... husband and I are new to the lifestyle and we want me to be the domme.

Are there some women that can give me some advice or point me in the direction to find information on dom from a woman's perspective?

Figure out what YOU want, what YOUR desires are, and what YOUR needs are.

That's the whole beauty of being the boss: YOU get to do and get what YOU want.

For some reading, you could start here:
Adding D/s to a Relationship
The Vanilla Domme

 

[BlowjobQueen]

"We want me?"

Do you want to be the Domme? Go for your needs...If you're agreeing because thats what your husband wants, then you're really being the sub.

 

[SweetErika]

While it's important to figure out what you both need, enjoy, will and won't do, etc. (google 'bdsm checklist' and go through the list separately, then talk about your answers and the possibilities together), I agree domination is about what YOU, the Dominant, enjoy/want.

http://www.akashaweb.com/goodgirl.html might give you some help in getting started, along with all of the wonderful resources here, in the BDSM Library and other threads.

What are you interested in? What is he interested in?

 

[Betticus]

A male or female perspective on this question would work equally well as it's a general question on domination.

Mostly when you are talking about just domination the gender doesn't matter so much.

 

[DeservingBitch]

A male or female perspective on this question would work equally well as it's a general question on domination.

Mostly when you are talking about just domination the gender doesn't matter so much.

I agree that gender *shouldn't* matter in this case, but I think it often does.

Women are taught to be caring, to cater to other people's needs before their own, to be pleasing, to serve rather than be served, etc. For many women, being the Dominant in a D/s relationship often requires them to 'unlearn' how they are used to think and behave.

This is especially the case for women who come to D/s because their partner asked them to be dominant.

 

[Vail_Indigo]

whats been said so far is very true (regardless of gender, but gender will certainly enter into it in some aspects)
Ultimately, I want to stress that this only works if you want to Domme.
I switch, but there are some people I've been with that I simply don't want to domme, and when I have, the entire thing has just been miserable.

 

[subwannabe]

It might be helpful to us if you told us what it is that you want and what it is that your husband wants. It's possible that maybe switching would work out better for you.