new member

[LittleJinx]

I'm pretty new around here so I figured I'd introduce myself and post a poem.


First Kiss

the raw beat upon hide,
spinning and pulseing,
a high wild cry,
the rythym incresses,
a roaring blaze,
the snap of tiny cymbles.

she is so beautiful in this light,
he is so handsome here tonight.

a lingering touch,
a kiss on the hand,
the cheek,
the lips,
and deeper.

and the drums grow louder,
and the talk fades away,
a whisper is heard,
but the shouts are ignored.

how old is he?
what is her name?
it doesn’t really matter.
one kiss turns into many,
and hands begin to roam.

pull away,
it’s time for bed,
and my we never meet again.

(five minutes later)
LOL, I just finished exploring the bad poetry post.... I think thats where the poem above belongs...

 

[HomerPindar]

Welcome aboard, LittleJinx,

(five minutes later)
LOL, I just finished exploring the bad poetry post.... I think thats where the poem above belongs...

Now, is that five minutes later between two people in the poem, or five minutes after writing a poem about two people meeting?

HomerPindar

 

[LittleJinx]

haha, no no, a compleatly different and seperated comment

 

[JUDO]

Welcome aboard, LittleJinx,


Now, is that five minutes later between two people in the poem, or five minutes after writing a poem about two people meeting?

HomerPindar

Ooo..., I'm certainly not one to talk, but I think it was the latter, HP.

Welcome, LJ. Good to have you aboard! (What is this, the Love Boat?)

Oh, and FYI: pulsing, increases, cymbals and may (rather than "my"). Here's a good place to go -- dictionary.com.


- Judo

 

[phoriner]

Hello Little Jinx

Welcome...and poetry is like beauty...it's in the eye of the beholder...who's to say what's "good" or "bad."

Snuggling by a fire still feels good;
A walk on the beach can lead to a kiss.
Holding someone in the dark still makes you feel safe -
And a dream come true, is better than a wish...

Now you can go through life trying to be hard;
But you'll still know that you're scared inside.
It's infinately better to have loved and lost -
Than to rot away alone, cause you never tried...

 

[Angeline]

LOL JUDO

Who are you? Captain Steubing?

Welcome to "the board" is what she meant Jinx! Not that she asked for my help, lol.

I like your poem; some of the imagery is just teriffic. Think your first stanza is strongest and good symbolism for the wild rush of emotions at that moment. Given that, I think I might build to that rather than start with it. Those last two lines especially are good--the beginning of surrender....

the raw beat upon hide,
spinning and pulseing,
a high wild cry,
the rythym incresses,
a roaring blaze,
the snap of tiny cymbles.

(oooh, JUDO, www.dictionary.com is good! I also like www.merriamwebster.com)

 

[lickmyboot]

OOOO!

I want to be Julie the secretly sluty cruise director!!!

Welcome LJ!