New(ish) Story

[ZanderKnight]

I have re-started my story after being unapproved (which made me sad) because the moderator didn't understand it.
I've just changed it's title and corrected a few spelling errors and it has now been approved (which makes me happy).

The story is now called Armageddon.
It is a closed story (the advantages and disadvantages of this has/is being discussed in another thread). Surfice it to say I wish to write the entire story myself (and have already plotted much of it).

I do welcome comments or suggestions as writting it is also about improving my ability.

My personal preference on stories is that they have a definite plot that is enhanced by any romantic/sexual content, as oppose to run by it.
For that reason my stories tend to have a lot of character development before any such scenes.

Because I think the reader should have as many options as possible I will try to incorporate as many genres into the story as possible so that the character can develop as independent of the story as possible.

Anyway, I hope you'll read it if not necessarily like it and comment in either case.

Armageddon: The Tale Of A Survivor
-In which are chronicled the recollections of the events of my life after the destruction of Humanity


I hope this post makes sense but I haven't slept in almost 3 days so please forgive me if it isn't entirely coherent.

Thank you and goodnight.

 

[amalgam]

Your writing's very explicative, judging from the first page. This is just as it should be for a first person viewpoint. I also found this hook very engaging: "It took three hours for the world to end." It really drew me in there.

Some technical errors.

Oh, and you should sleep.

 

[amalgam]

Hey ZanderKnight, what's happening? I'm only on the second page (took gun) and already your writing has degraded. It has no paragraphs whatsoever! That makes everything that's happening feel disconnected. You gloss over death and several days worth of waiting like they're nothing! I'm disappointed in the lack of detailed narrative that you provided on the intro page.

 

[deathofcards]

Was it really worth posting this on here if the story is closed?

 

[amalgam]

It's still a choose-your-own-adventure.

 

[deathofcards]

Just not interactive.

 

[ZanderKnight]

amalgam: Thanks for the comments. I'll re-write several pages including the one you mention sometime today. I actually wrote those pages over a year ago and have yet to rewrite, whereas the first page is a fairly new development after being entirely overhauled a week or so ago.

deathofcards: I posted here so people may read it. Whilst I respect your opinion on closed stories (though not necessarily agree) I believe the 'choose' aspect defines an integral interactivity.

Thanks you both for your comments.

 

[jakelyon]

It's still a choose-your-own-adventure.

I had been negative on the whole closed story idea but this comment made sense to me. It is possible to have one writer, many readers and to provide the readers the ability to choose their own story line. By having only one writer the tone and feel of the story and writing would be more consistent and might create a better flow.

I think I just talked myself into doing a project like this.

 

[jakelyon]

I have re-started my story after being unapproved (which made me sad) because the moderator didn't understand it.
I've just changed it's title and corrected a few spelling errors and it has now been approved (which makes me happy).

I originally have to admit that I did not get where you were going with this. Given some thought and a few improvements by yourself I know get where you are going with it. I shall follow it and see where you take it.

I hope this post makes sense but I haven't slept in almost 3 days so please forgive me if it isn't entirely coherent.

Thank you and goodnight.

And dang get some sleep dude!!

 

[artican]

Finally a thread that discusses the story rather than just posts when an update is made. There should be more threads like this so we can get more collaborative with stories like suggesting new paths for other writers to create, pointing out the likes and dislikes of other paths. This is where the real feedback is.

Makes me actually curious as to what the story is about now. I think I'll go skim through it...

 

[amalgam]

Wow, great point to bring up, artican.