New Author to Literotica - First erotic fiction story

[miss_claremont]

Hello everyone,

Nice to meet you. I have written my first erotic fiction story in the BDSM category entitled "Ross's Revenge" and I welcome your feedback. I look forward to getting to know you all. Thanks.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=437234

 

[Jenny_Jackson]

Hello everyone,

Nice to meet you. I have written my first erotic fiction story in the BDSM category entitled "Ross's Revenge" and I welcome your feedback. I look forward to getting to know you all. Thanks.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=437234

Just as a note, I'd say you won't get much in the way of raves from the BDSM crowd with this story. They have their own methods, language, settings and everything else and this story really doesn't quite fit. I don't either care for or read BDSM stories, and this one is not really my cup of tea either.

But you are right. I would have to think about where this story really belongs too.

Now with that out of the way you did pretty well. The beginning rather drags due to the multiple paragraphs of discription setting up the scene, but there are ways you will learn to get away from or away with that.

When the couple get to the hotel room, the story picks up nicely, using dialogue to let the characters tell the story. It was easy to follow and logical. I do think, though, that Ross's motivation was a bit thin for an "Escort".

All in all the story deserve a good solid "B" for a first time effort.

 

[miss_claremont]

Thanks, Jenny, for your input. Actually, I submitted the story in "Erotic Couplings" but Lit classified it as BDSM.

As far as his motivation for being "thin", it's partly due to a fantasy element in there. He's starting to have feelings for his client, so that's why he didn't want to let Claire go so easily. I try to add a romantic element to every story I write.

 

[Jenny_Jackson]

Thanks, Jenny, for your input. Actually, I submitted the story in "Erotic Couplings" but Lit classified it as BDSM.

As far as his motivation for being "thin", it's partly due to a fantasy element in there. He's starting to have feelings for his client, so that's why he didn't want to let Claire go so easily. I try to add a romantic element to every story I write.

The reson it was reclassified is because the sex seemed "forced." That would be rather close to rape or BDSM. Be careful with stories that deal with this kind of forced sex. I got death threats from a story titled Bad Day. That was the first and last rape story I will ever write.

 

[lance gt]

I thought this story would have faired better in the non-consent/reluctance category. It had no elements of BDSM other than a spanking scene. Re-submit it with a comment in the note section to post it in the section I mentioned and it should be accepted by readers who enjoy that kind of story.

 

[miss_claremont]

Thanks, Lance. I never thought of it as a non-consent/reluctance story since she is the one who makes him pounce on her on purpose. It's not like she doesn't want it because she clearly does. That's why she makes him angry in the beginning, to provoke him so they could have rough sex. It's a turn-on for her to be dominated.

 

[Jenny_Jackson]

Thanks, Lance. I never thought of it as a non-consent/reluctance story since she is the one who makes him pounce on her on purpose. It's not like she doesn't want it because she clearly does. That's why she makes him angry in the beginning, to provoke him so they could have rough sex. It's a turn-on for her to be dominated.

"Dominated" is the active word and the reason it ended up in BDSM. But Lance is right. NonConsent/Reluctance would be a more appropriate cat for this story.

But give Laural a break. She has to read hundreds of stories every day. I'm surprised she has any eyesite left.

 

[miss_claremont]

Thanks everyone. After thinking about it, I took your advice and re-submitted it to NonConsent/Reluctance.