New Author Seeking Feedback

[OwnedOne]

So...I recently posted my first short story...I've got ideas for a further plot based on it already, but I'd like feedback on the first chapter.

The story is listed as NonCon, and it's called Taken Ch. 1. (I only noticed after the fact that it's only the eight-billionth story under that title...*blush*)

I'd really like some good, constructive criticism. The story can be found here:

http://english.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=284207

I appreciate the time any of you are willing to take to help me out.

-OwnedOne

 

[ecclectic]

Not my style of story, and I doubt that women ever really enjoy being raped at any point unless they are role-playing with a trusted person.