New at this

[Ros098]

I'm newly single for the first time since early teens. It's great! But. I've been exploring fettishes and am okay with trying new things. For example, being choked/slapped/forced (in a playful consenting way) is very arousing. I've met new partners recently who want to try more aggressive dominance.
Any tips?
I'm very open to trying anything at least twice. My thinking is that experimentation couldn't cause much harm, right?
For what it's worth, my goal has been to find a new intriguing stranger each week via hookup apps. Can't be different than meeting a stranger in a bar, I'd think.

 

[OldDom]

Hi....

Hi....you need to turn on your PMs and yahoo says Emilya1850 doesn't work..

 

[cookiecat]

Are you experimenting with people you know?

If not, always have a safe call. Hopefully you have a friend you can call to say everything's going great. If the person you're experimenting with says no, don't monkey around.

All of this stuff is pretty overwhelming in the lusty, fuck-me, choke me, forget your common sense department.

I did some really really stupid, unsafe stuff when I was new. I feel really fortunate I wasn't hurt. I was just so caught up in the crazy feelings that letting a stranger in to my home to do a glory-hole scene seemed like the right thing to do.

Go on a real first date, make it vanilla. Size up the person who's going to be choking, slapping forcing you - they might not be as playful.

If you know the person, use safe words. Make sure the person you're playing with checks in on you're playing more aggressively. Just because you're submissive does NOT mean you can't say no.

 

[_Necrosomantic_]

cookiecat is right.

No, there's nothing wrong with experimentation, but the extent/type of its results vary wildly depending on the situation and who's involved.

" I've met new partners recently who want to try more aggressive dominance."

Understand two things.

First. Going harder is not always the best idea with people you've just met without actually having any discussion about ground rules or safe words. Things can go wrong if they are inexperienced or exaggerate their knowledge. It only requires about 1lb of pressure to crush a larynx. Don't be reckless because you're horny.

Second. Personally, I'd tend to question the character of someone that immediately wants to do something like that to another without at least getting to know the other person a bit. It's unnerving when I hear people are jumping into things like breath control and blood play, as they are something that not only takes a lot of practice, but also rely heavily on communication and trust. Neither of which are possible with a stranger.

Give me a couple hours ( maybe a day ), and I might be able to make someone think it would be positively electric for me to go home with them, blindfold, bind, and start dragging a blade across their body. However, that doesn't by any stretch of the imagination mean they should because, after all, who am I that they should invite me into their home and leave themselves at my mercy? I'm just text on a screen.

Please use good judgement and be safe.

 

[ClariceRose]

Be careful, can never be too careful with sex offenders out there and STDs. I would not recommend hooking up with strangers. There may be a bdsm group in your area or nearby. Have you tried fetlife.com ? You really should get to know someone first and research them a bit, before any sexual play. Even if it's simply dominant play, it may lead to sex.

Yes, it's sad that we have to go through red tape just to try to play out our fantasies.. but like the saying goes.. better to be safe than sorry.

 

[Blue]

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