Never thought it would end like this. (venting, sorry)

[Xander]

Okay this started out as a fairly good day.
Now it's quite the opposite. And only a few day left for X-mas I can only conclude.
The year 2000 has been a majorly shitty year for me.

Apparently I have a creditor on my tail. Oweing a phonecompany money for unpaid bills. Well that in itself is not something to be overly concerned about. There's always a solution to that.
But today, this creditor and the police knocked on my fathers door, looking for me, and trying to deliver the formal document to me.
However I do of course not live there. My dad and his wife booted me onto the streets in a time, where I needed my family the most. Which is also why I live in my office now.

Anyways, my dad called me, telling what had happend. And I naturally felt bad because they had to face that. And admitted I made a mistake with the bill paying, during what happend to me this summer and fall. Those of you who knows, will kow what I'm talking about. And for you who dont, it's things I dont want to go into here.

Anyways. My family cut my off, no more than 2 hours ago. And so, I most face the fact, that I'm completely and utterly alone now. When family cut you off, and says out right they dont wanna talk to you no more. I call that being completely at your own mercy.

I have always, for as long as I can remember, respected and admired my family, and my dad in particular.
And the very same people who I have admired and respected all my life, has discarded off me. Like I was yesterdays paper.
Granted I have made mistakes in my life. And quite a lot of them. But in times of trouble I have always had, if nothing else, the respect of my family.
Now I'm family-less. Well almost, I still have my sister. But the way things are ging, it will only be a matter of time before she turns on me as well.

So, because of one incident, with a fucking phonebill. I've been left completely to myself. And will have to deal with it like that. Since they dont want to know about, or take part in my life anymore.

Sad as it is, they just proved my life philosophy.
When things go bad, there's only one you can truely trust. And that's yourself.

I'm sorry to bring a venting thread like this into it. But I just dont know where else to turn.
Sorry ya'll. Back to one of Nitlights or Ambrosiouses silly threads.

 

[Juliangel]

{{Xander}} I know we have never interacted before really but you are the sweetest guy. It is their loss and I hope things work out. We are all always here to listen.

 

[DarkAngel]

Xan

Don't worry my friend, I have been there and my family has done that to me. Do I care nope... Because I turned my self around and own my own company. So now there are always phoning me for money and I just let the machine take it...

Plus who needs parents... they are a waste of time..

 

[Thumper]

I am sorry...

to hear of your family troubles Xander...

you have family here too Bro!

I will offer you a hug...( I am secure enough in my masculinity to do that, especially for a friend)

Now get your ass over here, my band (I still have trouble referring to us that way) needs a good guitarist to show us what to do..and a singer and a writer...and probably a bass player after you tell me I suck and kick me out...damn Prima Donnas...

It will get better dude...trust me..

 

[Ambrosious]

Me, silly?

Yeah, but only on Sundays. I wont bore you with details about my family, suffice to say the same thing happened here. You have my sympathy and respect. It is a full load you are carrying, Xan-man. And I still listen to your tunes. Pretty cool. One day I'll be as good as you.

I hope.

 

[Ksss]

Xander,I do enjoy reading your threads, sometimes it's hard when your family cuts you off, especially at this time of year. Here's to a wonderful New Year, may it bring you many good things!!!

 

[Isabella Thorne]

<big hugs Xander>

They are angry at you right now ... I am certain it is only temporary dear ...

Sometimes we just need to step back until the dust settles ...

family is forever ...

 

[Bobtoad777]

I could say welcome to my world {cut off from friends and family for 8 years now}, but that would be cruel and heartless. But instead I wish you the best and I am sure you can over come it

 

[Xander]

<big hugs Xander>

They are angry at you right now ... I am certain it is only temporary dear ...

Sometimes we just need to step back until the dust settles ...

family is forever ...

I wish that was true Izzy.
Even when I was doped up and a bad seed they were there.
But never ever once, has I been kicked into the streets, with no place to go. Or been told downright I'm no part of the family no more.

I'm sorry to burst your bubble. But it looks like this is it.

 

[Stormystarr]

I am really sorry to hear that Xander, I just hope you can have a lot of luck in the new year! Just look at it this way, your coming to America is a whole new beginning. It's up to you to make it a good one, which I'm sure you will.

and if you need one, here's a hug

((((((((((Xander))))))))))

 

[CW]

Hang in there X-man,,, you'll soon have a new life started in an entirely new place,,, and while it won't be a walk in the park nor a bed of roses, you'll make it thru this just fine. Trust me,,, been there dude, wasn't pretty, any more than your situation is pretty. BUT you WILL survive, and in fine form.

Set this mess aside the best you can and get ready to move on.

Good luck,,,

 

[sweetfeet]

Xander
I haven't really interacted with you before, and I am still pretty new to Lit, but I wanted to let you know that my heart completely goes out to you in this situation. Both my parents abandoned me and my siblings when we were children, and I can relate to that feeling of despair and emptiness when the people that are supposed to love you, care for you, and shelter you from the cruelty of the world become part of that cruelty. I know I am a stranger, but hey, you can know someone for years and they could still be a stranger. All I am saying is that if you need a shoulder, mine are pretty small, but my heart is big.

 

[Curious Guy]

Could be a blessing in disguise

Xander, at some point in our lives we all realise what you just found out. Now you do not have to wonder where help is going to come from. If it abso-fucking-lutely must be done, you will be doing it.

You are an intelligent fellow. I would suspect that you got it under control.

Rule #1-Do not sweat the small shit.
Rule #2-It is all small shit.

 

[teresafannin]

Hi Xander, I am so sorry you are having a bad time of it. I have enjoyed the times we have talked. I wish I could talk to your parents. After this last year, I could give them an earful about how much worse things can be. A phone bill is not worth all of this. I wish I had someone to rack up a big phone bill instead of being without my son. Sending a big hug your way. Know that a lot of people here care about you. Teresa

 

[Ezzy]

Been there...

Done that, read the book, saw the film, bought all the merchandised crap including the T shirt.

I love my parents, and I think they love me, but for the last 18 years we have lived sepperate lives, we may have seen each other (or spoken on the phone)12 times. coresponding by snail mail 30 times from them to me and 18 times from me.

Close the door, just don't lock it is the only advice I can give you.

The other thing as more of your friends here have said, so what this was a shitty year well 13 days it will be over, look to next year learn from mistakes vow never to repeat them and move on. A new country, a new year, a new life that all sounds good to me.


EZ http://cwm.ragesofsanity.com/s/cwm2/sleep.gif


[Edited by Ezzy on 12-19-2000 at 08:54 PM]

 

[KillerMuffin]

(((((((((Xander))))))))) and some smooches too.

Nothing quite like getting royally screwed by family. These are people that are supposed to stick by you no matter what.

I certainly hope that things will look up for you soon. You're an intelligent man, and you have alot of things going for you, don't let depression ruin it for you. I'd mouth more platitudes, I just really wish I could give you a hug. I think you need one as much as I do.

 

[Cheyenne]

I'm sorry, Xander. All I can think is tht maybe they feel like you're abandoning them? Just a thought. You're the one leaving the comforts of your home country to move to America. That's got to be at least just a little bit scary for your family to see you go.

I remember when I moved away from home, my mom and dad actually seemed mad at me for awhile! I confronted them, and the problem was that they didnt' really want to see me go- they would miss having me around every day. That came out as anger instead of just telling me they were sad. And I was moving all of 10 minutes away, not across an ocean!

In any case, you'll be here soon. Bring your boots and your shovel, by the way.

 

[Guest]

X-man,

I know that you and I haven't exactly chatted alot since I've been a member of the board, but let me tell you right up front, I enjoy your posts, and I can tell that you are a bright man.

Let me ask you this: what is it about your family, and probably most importantly, your parents, that you have respected in the past???

While I don't know you, or them, personally, I'm going to guess that you have appreciated their guidance and/or wisdom, in addition to their sustained love, over the course of your life.

I say that to tell you this -- we ALL occasionally need the kick to the head to ensure that we learn all of life's lessons. As much as it must hurt you, I'm willing to bet that this dose of "tough love" has been painful for your folks as well, and I'm guessing that they perceive this drastic course of action as the only way for you to truly understand the severity of the situation.

Yes, in this case, it's just a phone bill. But it is a small example of the greater responsibilities in life. I'm truly sorry that your parents have taken this very harsh course of action to make you aware of your responsibility, but I have little doubt that it is their way of trying to make you accountable for your actions, or lack of action.

As an aside, [please understand that I am not trying to cause a problem here] but it would be VERY unusual for the police to become involved with matters of credit or finance. I am somewhat curious, AND I MEAN THIS WITH ABSOULUTE RESPECT, but is there more to this than just an unpaid phone bill??? I can understand if you were served papers which indicated that you were being sued by the telecommunications company... but typically, that is done without the aid of the police. You cannot be arrested for an unpaid bill. Your wages, however, can be garnished.

If that is the case, that you are being sued for an unpaid account balance, may I suggest that you contact the company, and try to work out arrangements for repayment without involving legal action. Just a thought.

Otherwise, follow up on the matter through a court proceeding, and handle the matter in an up front, business-like fashion. Seek the aid of an attorney if necessary.

When you prove your responsibility for your own affairs, if your family still shuns you, it may be possible that there are other issues at work between you and your family.

Either way, I am sorry that you find yourself in this uncomfortable, and upsetting position. But, prove your character... stand up and be responsible for your actions. Take this terrible and unfortunate circumstance, and grow from it.

Best of luck in these trying times.

[Edited by Happy on 12-19-2000 at 08:31 PM]

 

[Ezzy]

Just a small explanatary note...

In the UK if the Bailifs are involved attempting to recover assests or funds, they normally attend an address with the police, especially if they think they may not be well received.

As it rare for them to be received well they more often than not attend with the police in tow.

My understanding is that most of northern Europe has similar systems to recover accounts.


EZ http://cwm.ragesofsanity.com/s/cwm2/sleep.gif

Ps. This is only after a court case that had been judged against you. The bailifs work for the court and are entitled to the protection of the police while attending.

[Edited by Ezzy on 12-19-2000 at 08:57 PM]

 

[Earthmuffin]

I am so sorry.

Hugs for you Xander. I'm at a loss for any other words.

 

[Guest]

Ezzy, thank you for the clarification... I appologize if I was speaking too far out of line regarding specific laws governing your local collection policies...
Still, X-man, I wish you nothing but clarity and goodwill.

 

[Xander]

Thanks you all. I feel slightly better today. Though not to the point where you'd call me a ray of sunshine.

Happy, it's like Ezzy says here. Collection officers will always be accompanied by police officers, as a protection measurement.

KM Thanks for the hug. I needed that.

 

[Vlad]

Damn Xander, that's truely a sad state of affairs. Hope you can find some way to rectify the situation with your parents before you leave--good luck-

Vlad

 

[JHolley67]

A few things for you to remember....

Okay, Xander, life sucks for you right now. It won't suck forever. Besides you have a hundred times more family right here at Lit. Remember a few things:

1. When it comes right down to it, you are the only person you have to make happy in this entire fucking world.

2. If everyone had a happy homelife, they would never leave home.

3. Behind every successful man there stands a thoroughly surprised relative.

4. When you fall, try to land on your back, because if you can LOOK up, you can GET up.

5. When you're part of this family, you are never - EVER - alone.


Oh, and happy holidays. {guy hug}


Jason

 

[Slut_boy]

Xander man, you have always been here for us at this BB. For that reason alone, you are not alone (as has been said). Sometimes it seems nearly impossible to understand why things happen the way that they do - yet, magically, the reason is almost always later revealed. I hope that things work out, and I hope the reason is one to your advantage. Keep posting here brother.