Nervous.

[sweetmelissa087]

I was seeing someone for awhile who was teaching me about the lifestyle and he eventually collared me. But with his busy schedule, I rarely saw him so it was hard to keep the training going and one day we just stopped speaking. (We didn't speak on a daily basis, anyway. Which wasbad enough.) I decided I couldn't deal with the lack of communication and we decided it was best to stop.

Months later, I met someone new and now have a boyfriend (he isn't in the lifestyle) and I'm scared.

The Master I had at one point says he still owns me and demanded that I or my boyfriend "pay" ($$, or let him have me for another year) for my freedom from him. I'm afraid because he knows where I go to school and live- should I be worried that he could take violent action?

I'm sorry if this post didn't make sense

 

[CutieMouse]

No one has a right to "own" you unless you give it to them. He didn't have time for you; y'all broke up; he has no grounds to demand your time, attention, money, or anything else, and is probably just being a jealous twit.

If you feel threatened file a restraining order/talk to the police- tell them a jealous ex-boyfriend is threatening you/trying to blackmail you to win you back, and you are worried about what he might do.

 

[FurryFury]

Great post Cutie Mouse.

I agree and I'm sorry that you are being hassled like this, Sweetmelissa087.

*hug*

Fury

 

[HottieMama]

UGH...dude sounds like a fucking psycho. (of course this is just my opinion.) It's hearing stories like this that make me scared to meet people.

i agree with CutieMouse. Talk to the police or a counselor at your university. They should be able to give you some help. If you have ANY documentation of his threats...answering machine messages, IMs, letters...etc..SAVE THEM. They may be necessary to prove harrassment and get a restraining order.

Don't let embarrassment prevent you from getting help. If you ever want to chat/vent, feel free to PM me.

 

[graceanne]

Um, can anyone say 'restraining order'?

As for your friends and stuff, start a cover story now. Tell them that a guy you used to chat with online has fabricated all sorts of lies about you and is threatening to tell your friends that you're into all sorts of weird stuff. Then if he does call them they'll say 'oh my god, your that weirdo' and hang up on him. Plus you can get him arrested for talking to your friends if you have a restraining order.

 

[liberatedslave]

Tell your school that a guy is hassling you so they're aware if he starts hanging around. Don't stop living your life but be sensible about going out alone at night and so on. Send him exactly ONE email telling him he forfeited any rights he thought he had by ignoring you for months, his threats are illegal and if you ever hear from him again you'll go to the police with all his emails. He's counting on scaring you into silence & really has no hope of enforcing his demands. If he's smart he'll disappear.

 

[liberatedslave]

Thinking about it this looks like it could be a serial scam of his. Who knows how many girls he's hooked up with, ignored & then threatened to spill the beans on? I really do advise you to call the cops. If you lay down your cover story you should escape with your reputation but this guy needs to be investigated IMO.

 

[WriterDom]

I think you should get back with your Master for another year.

Sooner or later, he'll have to sleep.

Then cut his penis off.

 

[myinnerslut]

nobody has the right to own you without your consent. nobody. consent is a major part of BDSM, everyone has given it on some level, and you have clearly withdrawn yours.

good luck with your boyfriend in the future.

 

[FurryFury]

I think you should get back with your Master for another year.

Sooner or later, he'll have to sleep.

Then cut his penis off.

Ah, Sir, here is the Bobbit Authorization you asked me to prepare.

LMAO.

Fury

 

[lil_slave_rose]

I was seeing someone for awhile who was teaching me about the lifestyle and he eventually collared me. But with his busy schedule, I rarely saw him so it was hard to keep the training going and one day we just stopped speaking. (We didn't speak on a daily basis, anyway. Which wasbad enough.) I decided I couldn't deal with the lack of communication and we decided it was best to stop.

Months later, I met someone new and now have a boyfriend (he isn't in the lifestyle) and I'm scared.

The Master I had at one point says he still owns me and demanded that I or my boyfriend "pay" ($$, or let him have me for another year) for my freedom from him. I'm afraid because he knows where I go to school and live- should I be worried that he could take violent action?

I'm sorry if this post didn't make sense

do you have emails with him demanding money? that's blackmail, and it's illegal, not to mention harassment and whatever other charges he can be brought up on.. go to the police, take all that you have on him and let them deal with him......

 

[sweetmelissa087]

First off, I just want to thank all of you for your input. I'm genuinely taking all of it to heart.

As for records of him demanding money, etc - I don't have them. They were usually conversations on Yahoo and I never thought of saving them, only because I usually thought he would stop being ridiculous. But I'm going to start saving them if he continues to do what he's doing. While on one hand, I feel I shouldn't be freaking out as much - these days, you never know what a person is capable of. So I'll have to watch out.

I've lied and told him I'm not at school - he doesn't know where my house is at home - and that may backfire on me because he sometimes says he drives by my dorm for 'memories'. I'm really going to have to document everything now.



BUT, this brings up another concern I have. He helped me twice $$-wise, would this be an issue? He said a Master helps his slave with every aspect in her life if she's struggling, so that wouldn't come back to bite me in the ass, would it?

Thank you again, everyone. This experience has really put a damper on my willingness to learn, because I feel as though he may have tainted my opinion on others if and when I decide to begin again with someone new.
I still hold great respect though and appreciate all of your help

 

[HottieMama]

BUT, this brings up another concern I have. He helped me twice $$-wise, would this be an issue? He said a Master helps his slave with every aspect in her life if she's struggling, so that wouldn't come back to bite me in the ass, would it?

Someone correct me if i'm wrong but i think the worst he could do is take you to small-claims court to try to get you to pay him the money back.

This experience has really put a damper on my willingness to learn, because I feel as though he may have tainted my opinion on others if and when I decide to begin again with someone new.
I still hold great respect though and appreciate all of your help

That's really sad. Hopefully you'll be able to move past this and on to something better eventually if this lifestyle is what you want. I'm sorry this fucker ruined it for you.

 

[sweetmelissa087]

Someone correct me if i'm wrong but i think the worst he could do is take you to small-claims court to try to get you to pay him the money back.



That's really sad. Hopefully you'll be able to move past this and on to something better eventually if this lifestyle is what you want. I'm sorry this fucker ruined it for you.

It IS really sad, that's why I'm glad I'm trying to resolve this now so if ever in the future I have the opportunity to actually try again and actually learn something, I'll be more readily prepared and trusting It sucks he ruined it for me and I'm still confused as to why he thinks I still owe him something, when really- I feel like HE owes ME for the time I had persistently wasted on trying to get in touch.

Thank you for your input also

 

[@}-}rebecca----]

First off, I just want to thank all of you for your input. I'm genuinely taking all of it to heart.

As for records of him demanding money, etc - I don't have them. They were usually conversations on Yahoo and I never thought of saving them, only because I usually thought he would stop being ridiculous. But I'm going to start saving them if he continues to do what he's doing. While on one hand, I feel I shouldn't be freaking out as much - these days, you never know what a person is capable of. So I'll have to watch out.

I've lied and told him I'm not at school - he doesn't know where my house is at home - and that may backfire on me because he sometimes says he drives by my dorm for 'memories'. I'm really going to have to document everything now.



BUT, this brings up another concern I have. He helped me twice $$-wise, would this be an issue? He said a Master helps his slave with every aspect in her life if she's struggling, so that wouldn't come back to bite me in the ass, would it?

Thank you again, everyone. This experience has really put a damper on my willingness to learn, because I feel as though he may have tainted my opinion on others if and when I decide to begin again with someone new.
I still hold great respect though and appreciate all of your help

I find it horrifying that you have been exposed to these threats and agree that in the future it would be wise to keep documentation where possible of any correspondence between you and this man.

I would also stress that it is my opinion that it may be prudent as you are no longer in a relationship to redefine your personal stance of power. You are no longer his submissive and the sooner he is aided in seeing you as a independent detached woman making clear choices to a future that does not include him the better.

In the situation you describe , I would personally find a way to repay the money he has assisted you with. This dis-empowers his status and sends a clear message. It may provide a better nights sleep as well than finding transgressions he has perpetrated and justifying in that mode.

Whatever choices you make I wish you well.

 

[WriterDom]

From what I've seen on TV judge shows, if you're fucking someone and they give you money with no documentation of it being a loan, the "lender" is usually laughed out of court. Especially an older guy with a 20 yr old girl.

Not like he WANTS to get anywhere near a courtroom in the first place.

 

[Tuomas]

BUT, this brings up another concern I have. He helped me twice $$-wise, would this be an issue? He said a Master helps his slave with every aspect in her life if she's struggling, so that wouldn't come back to bite me in the ass, would it?

No.

I'm not a lawyer or a judge, but this is rather reoccuring in business Unless he has documented proof that you promised to give/repay him the sum, then he has no grounds to demand it back. Even if there is documentary evidence (withdrawl slip, bank deposit note) that proves he gave you the money, he can't demand it back. Legally.

Morally, however, if you feel compelled to "repay" him -after all he has did- then you should do so. However, he has no legal standing to demand money from you.

In fact, if he demands money at the same time "threatens" to reveal/confront you over the issue, that constitues harassment and/or blackmail as mentioned earlier. He won't press the issue

 

[Exogenous]

First off, I just want to thank all of you for your input. I'm genuinely taking all of it to heart.

As for records of him demanding money, etc - I don't have them. They were usually conversations on Yahoo and I never thought of saving them, only because I usually thought he would stop being ridiculous. But I'm going to start saving them if he continues to do what he's doing. While on one hand, I feel I shouldn't be freaking out as much - these days, you never know what a person is capable of. So I'll have to watch out.

I've lied and told him I'm not at school - he doesn't know where my house is at home - and that may backfire on me because he sometimes says he drives by my dorm for 'memories'. I'm really going to have to document everything now.



BUT, this brings up another concern I have. He helped me twice $$-wise, would this be an issue? He said a Master helps his slave with every aspect in her life if she's struggling, so that wouldn't come back to bite me in the ass, would it?

Thank you again, everyone. This experience has really put a damper on my willingness to learn, because I feel as though he may have tainted my opinion on others if and when I decide to begin again with someone new.
I still hold great respect though and appreciate all of your help

If you haven't turned it off, you will have message archives on Yahoo IM. Just sign into IM (in the invisable mode to be safe), click on "Contacts", click on "Message Archives". You will be able to read and print your IM conversations.

It seems as if he is just tyring to intimidate and scare you as he has no grounds to stand on. The restraining order is a great idea. Hopefully he will just disappear into the woodwork when he sees he can not intimidate you.

I wish you well and good luck.

 

[lil_slave_rose]

First off, I just want to thank all of you for your input. I'm genuinely taking all of it to heart.

As for records of him demanding money, etc - I don't have them. They were usually conversations on Yahoo and I never thought of saving them, only because I usually thought he would stop being ridiculous. But I'm going to start saving them if he continues to do what he's doing. While on one hand, I feel I shouldn't be freaking out as much - these days, you never know what a person is capable of. So I'll have to watch out.

I've lied and told him I'm not at school - he doesn't know where my house is at home - and that may backfire on me because he sometimes says he drives by my dorm for 'memories'. I'm really going to have to document everything now.



BUT, this brings up another concern I have. He helped me twice $$-wise, would this be an issue? He said a Master helps his slave with every aspect in her life if she's struggling, so that wouldn't come back to bite me in the ass, would it?

Thank you again, everyone. This experience has really put a damper on my willingness to learn, because I feel as though he may have tainted my opinion on others if and when I decide to begin again with someone new.
I still hold great respect though and appreciate all of your help

don't let one weirdo completely turn you away from the lifestyle. i assure you all Dom's, hell not even close to all PEOPLE on the internet are like this guy. you really do need to save any and all documentation (IM's,emails, etc..) in case something does happen. he drives by your dorm for memories?? wow, creepy....i'd go to the police anyway, and file a harassment report. give him his name and anything else you know about him. tell them everything you've told us, that way, the report is on file and they will probably be watching him or whatever....seriously...go to the police atleast file a report....

on second thought about the IM's, emails, etc....BLOCK HIM! don't even talk to him after you've gone to the police unless they tell you to do otherwise which i'm sure they won't. as for the restraining order, you have to go to court for those and show reason why you want it. i know, i had to go through it with an ex..and though the restraining order was granted, it did no good. he would stand outside my house and scream things at me at 2:00 in thje morning, i'd call the cops and tell them about the restraining order and that he was outside my door and they would say, well has he DONE anything to you or your property? my answer of course was 'no' then they'd say 'well is he standing ON your property' my answer 'no, he's across the street' their response ' oh, well then there's really nothing we can do until he does something' ohhhhhhh ok so he has to injure me or kill me before the restraining order does any good...well that's good to know..thanks....

BUT it is good to have a harassment complaint filed....just in case....

 

[graceanne]

I think you should get back with your Master for another year.

Sooner or later, he'll have to sleep.

Then cut his penis off.

OMG *spew*

 

[Leatherargento]

I was seeing someone for awhile who was teaching me about the lifestyle and he eventually collared me. But with his busy schedule, I rarely saw him so it was hard to keep the training going and one day we just stopped speaking. (We didn't speak on a daily basis, anyway. Which wasbad enough.) I decided I couldn't deal with the lack of communication and we decided it was best to stop.

Months later, I met someone new and now have a boyfriend (he isn't in the lifestyle) and I'm scared.

The Master I had at one point says he still owns me and demanded that I or my boyfriend "pay" ($$, or let him have me for another year) for my freedom from him. I'm afraid because he knows where I go to school and live- should I be worried that he could take violent action?

I'm sorry if this post didn't make sense

It's not just blackmail. It's domestic abuse (a mindgame you didn't consent to anytime, anywhere);

Procurement (he's demanding, basically, that your new bf pay him to have sex with you. That's Pimp/Pro, NOT Master/slave or D/s);

Forced Prostitution (because you didn't agree to his being paid for your services)

Menacing (threat of physical injury from a man you know never hesitated to use it when you agreed to it before, and who is now threatening to do something which seems out-of-whack with your prior understanding of how your unwritten contract worked. Also, if you neither shook on it nor signed a document agreeing to it (either of them must have two witnesses, who are clean, sober, of average or above intelligence, not senile, not at risk of imminent death (whether by threat or by evident malady), sane, and of legal age of consent. COntracts, as you can see, are a serious business. If he's going to treat yours like this, then he isn't just not a good man or a good Master, he's a piss-poor Citizen) it isn't a contract in the USA, UK, or any of their colonies, possessions, or protectorates.);

Stalking (provided you record three incidents, initiated by him, where you tell him it's over and you don't want anything more to do with him, and he insists and persists; number four is what I call the Vampire Number. The Felon Hunters/Slayers (cops, that is), can, after you fill out a report, arrest him. If the DA presses charges after you tell the DA all the details (which, if you don't want the public to know them, they can't leak, BY LAW), it's a good bet the DA'll win and he'll be somewhere where he won't be able to bother you, at least until he's up for parole, and Bad Masters don't pull at the heartstrings of most Parole Boards...

 

[Blushing Bottom]

I am so sorry this is happening to you. You have every right to be nervous. I have been stalked twice in my lifetime and believe you me it can be a tremendous ordeal, involving your neighbors, the police and even your family. You have been given some good advice here and hope that you prevail of it. Be wise and be careful my dear girl..***** is too precious.

Oh and I agree with Writer Dom about one thing...cut his penis off.

d

 

[subwannabe]

You know him better than we do. Do you think he is actually capable of being violent? I suspect he is a control freak which goes along with his dom nature. I'm guessing he's having a hard time dealing with losing a sub and thinks he can get you back by being dominant. Legally, he has given you money and it was not a loan so he's stuck trying to get it back. He is just trying to intimidate you. If necessary, by all means, contact the police.

 

[sweetmelissa087]

You know him better than we do. Do you think he is actually capable of being violent? I suspect he is a control freak which goes along with his dom nature. I'm guessing he's having a hard time dealing with losing a sub and thinks he can get you back by being dominant. Legally, he has given you money and it was not a loan so he's stuck trying to get it back. He is just trying to intimidate you. If necessary, by all means, contact the police.

He could very easily become violent and he also has a pretty high position and is well known in some aspects which is why it kind of frightens me even more. If things DO increase, I suppose I have no other option but police notifcation.

 

[liberatedslave]

Keep in mind that this high position of his simply means he has far more to lose than you do. If he's affluent & doesn't need the money he's asking for then the blackmail is just for kicks & it's likely he's give up this game before the cops arrive on his doorstep. Go file a report & get it over with. The odds are he'll admit defeat & if he doesn't you've already started the legal ball rolling on down to flatten his ass.