Nerd and the girl

[loquere]

Nerd starts spending a lot of time with his grandpa at the nursing home, after his grandma passes away. After a month Sarah a cute out of league girl from his school starts visiting the nursing home, after her grandma moves in.

They naturally start hanging out, eating and watching moveis as friends in the nuring home. With know intent from him, they start hangingout just without the nursing home. He soon realizes he's dating a girl whose out of his league.

This realization comes one day on his bed, when her hand brazingly rubs his thigh a bit too long and lose. He then starts to thnk about hints that he brushed off as his imagination.

He inhales and goes for it kissing her. She responds acceptingly with a smile propelling the kiss, allowing his hands to roam above her waist.

There's more to this. What do you think so far?

 

[AuthorApril]

Excellent. Keep providing the details.

 

[jesswedel]

nice idea the nerd has got to get it sometime but is there a sting in the tail that it was a frat house bet?

 

[loquere]

nice idea the nerd has got to get it sometime but is there a sting in the tail that it was a frat house bet?

Sting, tail? Explain further?

 

[jesswedel]

Sting, tail? Explain further?

How often dose the nerd get a girl that is out of his league? the answer to that is not very often. but I like you premise, although the guy gets the girl and he thinks it is love and all the time she and her friends are having a bet that each of them has to get of with one of the Nerds they have picked out of a hat if they don’t bring proof that they went all the way with the one they picked they will be expelled from the fraternity.

 

[loquere]

How often dose the nerd get a girl that is out of his league? the answer to that is not very often. but I like you premise, although the guy gets the girl and he thinks it is love and all the time she and her friends are having a bet that each of them has to get of with one of the Nerds they have picked out of a hat if they don’t bring proof that they went all the way with the one they picked they will be expelled from the fraternity.

Yeah you created a whole knew story idea. If you like it, write it.

 

[CWatson]

I don't want to attack your fantasy, because I know "Out-Of-My-League Girl" is practically a trope in itself--actually, come to think of it, it's just the gender-flipped version of "I can't Believe A Guy Like You Would Notice Me!" Anyway, Partner A being way out of Partner B's league is a time-honored tradition in porn.

But it's also total bullshit.

First off, I don't know if anyone honestly subscribes to the "league" idea anymore. I never did in high school. (That might not mean a damn thing, though, as 1) that was more than 10 years ago, and 2) it was all-guys.) The only friend who's ever fretted about league, I've told to stop worrying about it: Your league is what you say it is. Because that's honestly the truth, and I think kids are catching onto that.

But second off, it also goes towards enforcing stereotypes. Your girl Sarah's a cheerleader, right? I mean, why not--let's just get the whole package at once. After all, the only kind of girl worth getting in high school is the one who's popular; the non-popular ones are totally boring and uninteresting and don't have huge boobs and aren't recognized as being the hottest. A girl's worth is solely in her endowments! Personality and intelligence mean nothing! And if she's not a cheerleader, she's not attractive! The impish pixie (Alyson Hannigan); the doe-eyed raven-hair ivory-skin vibe (Jennifer Connelly); the fiery tomboyish redhead (Amy Adams); the plain-faced but good-hearted girl next door (Mary Elizabeth Winstead): they're not blonde, and they're not cheerleaders, so they're not worth noticing! =P

Look, I get it. I was a nerd in high school, and people picked on me even when there weren't girls around to impress (which was, of course, always). The dream of showing my worth by getting someone everybody else respects to respect me... Yeah. I get it. But it's gotten to the point where "out-of-my-league girl" is just tossed in there because it (supposedly) enhances the female lead's attractiveness. It's a trope that's used without being justified or elaborated on. It is, in a word, lazy; it is, in a word, cliché. And whenever I see lazy writing I try to kill it with sticks.

What I'm trying to say is that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Your narrator and this girl Sarah: they have some things in common now. Completely aside from spending a lot of time together with their ailing grandparents, they have classes together; mutual friends or teachers or, at least, figures of legend like the principal or the alpha jock, from school; probably at least one musical artist / TV show / movie they both like... They can get along. They can like each other. They can become friends, which is an important step in any romantic relationship that plans to be about more than sex. She doesn't have to be Out Of My League to be attractive to your narrator. And she definitely doesn't have to be Out Of My League to be attractive to The Reader.

Okay, I've spent a lot of words on this, probably more than it's worth. A friend posted a super-sexist photo of a girl with a great rack, done up as a demotivational poster about how if you don't have boobs, your life is over; some of that spilled over. But what I'm trying to say is that "out of my league" is lazy and you don't need it. Your narrator can like Sarah because she is likeable. That's better than her being beautiful any day.

 

[jesswedel]

Sorry I spoke

Its just an idea

 

[wheelchair27]

I like the idea it is interesting.

 

[loquere]

Its just an idea

Sorry, I was tired, I thought this was my frat contest idea you were offering the twist to. I was thinking well it already has twists. Actually it's a good idea. Good conflict if she actually likes him which she does. They don't like all the same things, but enough for her mind to go on an adventure with his.

They both light sparks in each other. After the deep make out session. She feels guilty and tell him that when she told her friends that she ran into him at the nursing home, they encouraged her to learn embarrassing stuff on him.

She tells him dating outside the nursing home was real, and her friends were not told anything.

I think making all the characters equitable and average is a spot on idea. No more out of your league nonsense.

 

[loquere]

I don't want to attack your fantasy, because I know "Out-Of-My-League Girl" is practically a trope in itself--actually, come to think of it, it's just the gender-flipped version of "I can't Believe A Guy Like You Would Notice Me!" Anyway, Partner A being way out of Partner B's league is a time-honored tradition in porn.

But it's also total bullshit.

First off, I don't know if anyone honestly subscribes to the "league" idea anymore. I never did in high school. (That might not mean a damn thing, though, as 1) that was more than 10 years ago, and 2) it was all-guys.) The only friend who's ever fretted about league, I've told to stop worrying about it: Your league is what you say it is. Because that's honestly the truth, and I think kids are catching onto that.

But second off, it also goes towards enforcing stereotypes. Your girl Sarah's a cheerleader, right? I mean, why not--let's just get the whole package at once. After all, the only kind of girl worth getting in high school is the one who's popular; the non-popular ones are totally boring and uninteresting and don't have huge boobs and aren't recognized as being the hottest. A girl's worth is solely in her endowments! Personality and intelligence mean nothing! And if she's not a cheerleader, she's not attractive! The impish pixie (Alyson Hannigan); the doe-eyed raven-hair ivory-skin vibe (Jennifer Connelly); the fiery tomboyish redhead (Amy Adams); the plain-faced but good-hearted girl next door (Mary Elizabeth Winstead): they're not blonde, and they're not cheerleaders, so they're not worth noticing! =P

Look, I get it. I was a nerd in high school, and people picked on me even when there weren't girls around to impress (which was, of course, always). The dream of showing my worth by getting someone everybody else respects to respect me... Yeah. I get it. But it's gotten to the point where "out-of-my-league girl" is just tossed in there because it (supposedly) enhances the female lead's attractiveness. It's a trope that's used without being justified or elaborated on. It is, in a word, lazy; it is, in a word, cliché. And whenever I see lazy writing I try to kill it with sticks.

What I'm trying to say is that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Your narrator and this girl Sarah: they have some things in common now. Completely aside from spending a lot of time together with their ailing grandparents, they have classes together; mutual friends or teachers or, at least, figures of legend like the principal or the alpha jock, from school; probably at least one musical artist / TV show / movie they both like... They can get along. They can like each other. They can become friends, which is an important step in any romantic relationship that plans to be about more than sex. She doesn't have to be Out Of My League to be attractive to your narrator. And she definitely doesn't have to be Out Of My League to be attractive to The Reader.

Okay, I've spent a lot of words on this, probably more than it's worth. A friend posted a super-sexist photo of a girl with a great rack, done up as a demotivational poster about how if you don't have boobs, your life is over; some of that spilled over. But what I'm trying to say is that "out of my league" is lazy and you don't need it. Your narrator can like Sarah because she is likeable. That's better than her being beautiful any day.

FUCK YOU!


LOL! Your right, dropping things in there like out of your league is cheap. It's a substitution for faulty talent. Good writing should unbox that deeper meaning. The girl bet hat idea, I don't know about that.
Her eyes as a gateway to her soul can be beautifull. Not her boobs or ass.

This can be a boy meets world kind a thing.

 

[CWatson]

Its just an idea

Nonsense, it's a good idea. It's certainly one every high-school student fears. And for that you do need the popular cheerleader, so removing it under those circumstances would be silly.

What I was saying to loquere was that if he just wants to play it as straight romance, then he doesn't need a cheerleader.

If you wanted to go forward with the sting idea, my question would be what happens after the reveal that she's going along with a bet or doing it for prestige or whatever. The stereotypical answer is that she gets regretful and apologizes and discovers she likes him genuinely and there's a happily-ever-after; it's stereotypical because it's sweet, and pretty rare in real life. The realistic answer is she goes on her way and the two of them never talk again. Could there be a third angle somewhere? If there was, you'd have a really good story on your hands, because it'd be completely unique.

 

[dale124]

The third angle is where he finds some way to take revenge on her. Yes, I know it's also a cliche that nerds = mad hacker skills. So in the cliche scenario, he hacks into her computer, finds the nude photos she took of herself for fun, and uses those photos as blackmail material to make her life hell.

However, I'm assuming you were planning a happy ending, loquere.

 

[hastobedone]

This whole out of league thing can be something the main male character can address in the story.

If the troupe is something he has come to believe is the way the world operates (ie watching porn and movies has given him this view on relationships rather than RL ones) then the whole story can be him coming to terms with the fact that it's bullshit.

Initial weariness, gradual coming to terms, helplessly in love.

The twist of the bet/dare would be good for him because it would open his eyes to the real world.

Cynical and depressed.

Revenge may be one option but this is a guy who spent his free in the nursing home. He's not mean.

 

[loquere]

The third angle is where he finds some way to take revenge on her. Yes, I know it's also a cliche that nerds = mad hacker skills. So in the cliche scenario, he hacks into her computer, finds the nude photos she took of herself for fun, and uses those photos as blackmail material to make her life hell.

However, I'm assuming you were planning a happy ending, loquere.

Lol you know me. All I do is happy endings. I'm trying to move away from that though. This story however is not on my radar, I have four in the final editing stage right now. I would be willing to partner up though.

 

[loquere]

Nonsense, it's a good idea. It's certainly one every high-school student fears. And for that you do need the popular cheerleader, so removing it under those circumstances would be silly.

What I was saying to loquere was that if he just wants to play it as straight romance, then he doesn't need a cheerleader.

If you wanted to go forward with the sting idea, my question would be what happens after the reveal that she's going along with a bet or doing it for prestige or whatever. The stereotypical answer is that she gets regretful and apologizes and discovers she likes him genuinely and there's a happily-ever-after; it's stereotypical because it's sweet, and pretty rare in real life. The realistic answer is she goes on her way and the two of them never talk again. Could there be a third angle somewhere? If there was, you'd have a really good story on your hands, because it'd be completely unique.

He puts her in a wooden crate and ships her to China. Okay he doesn't forgive her. Six years later grown up they come back to town to burry their grandparents and they reconcile, over their joint grief.

 

[dale124]

He puts her in a wooden crate and ships her to China. Okay he doesn't forgive her. Six years later grown up they come back to town to burry their grandparents and they reconcile, over their joint grief.

I was thinking more in terms of him holding the blackmail photos over her head and forcing her to do a string of humiliating things in public. Must my early role plays were with happy endings as well, but now I'm exploring my darker side.

 

[loquere]

I was thinking more in terms of him holding the blackmail photos over her head and forcing her to do a string of humiliating things in public. Must my early role plays were with happy endings as well, but now I'm exploring my darker side.

No, I almost went hat way with my first story. Writing like that goes against how I'm wired. I will try to be darker but never that dark.

 

[Chicago Ken]

What if the friendship started out as a dare/bet, but took a turn in the female character's mind once she discovered a thing or two about the male character? I'm thinking more of a bulge down the leg of his jeans that extends three-quarters of the way to his knee, rather than him liking moonlit walks on the beach and reading poetry.

 

[dale124]

What if the friendship started out as a dare/bet, but took a turn in the female character's mind once she discovered a thing or two about the male character? I'm thinking more of a bulge down the leg of his jeans that extends three-quarters of the way to his knee, rather than him liking moonlit walks on the beach and reading poetry.

Or it could be as simple as being a gentleman when the other guys around him are being jerks. I was one of those nerds in high school. But because the school assigned lockers alphabetically by the last name of the student, my locker was next door to the head cheerleader all four years (she had the same last name except for an "on" at the end of hers). Kathy was beautiful, and one of the nicest people I ever met. The jocks had a habit of sneaking up and slamming her locker closed and spinning the dial before she'd gotten all her books out of it for next period. So I'd swing my locker open to block them from closing hers. Not exactly a major act of chivalry on my part, but it saved her from having to unlock her locker a second time. No romance developed out of that, because we traveled in different circles. But she appreciated the gesture. Perhaps in your story, it's a gesture of chivalry on your character's part that wins over the girl.

 

[loquere]

What if the friendship started out as a dare/bet, but took a turn in the female character's mind once she discovered a thing or two about the male character? I'm thinking more of a bulge down the leg of his jeans that extends three-quarters of the way to his knee, rather than him liking moonlit walks on the beach and reading poetry.

I believe I said she would become emotionaly attached to him. God, not another huge cock story. What's the good in that? That's makes a reader harder and does not fulfill anything else.

 

[loquere]

Or it could be as simple as being a gentleman when the other guys around him are being jerks. I was one of those nerds in high school. But because the school assigned lockers alphabetically by the last name of the student, my locker was next door to the head cheerleader all four years (she had the same last name except for an "on" at the end of hers). Kathy was beautiful, and one of the nicest people I ever met. The jocks had a habit of sneaking up and slamming her locker closed and spinning the dial before she'd gotten all her books out of it for next period. So I'd swing my locker open to block them from closing hers. Not exactly a major act of chivalry on my part, but it saved her from having to unlock her locker a second time. No romance developed out of that, because we traveled in different circles. But she appreciated the gesture. Perhaps in your story, it's a gesture of chivalry on your character's part that wins over the girl.

If I write it. I would LOVE to use that scene. The imagery is spectacular.

 

[loquere]

After that imagery, I would love to communicate with you if I ever get the ball started. The sick grandparents can be the tipping point. But, she can have a BF that encourages her to lead you on. but something changes in her mind. She confesses to you. You too continue to act like you're pretending but secretly you really aren't.

 

[JRaven]

Fuck, I must be getting old.

My take:
the boy and girl are friendly, but not even really friends. They hang out some at the nursing home, taking his grandfather and her grandmother to the movies, etc.

The grandparents both feel that the two kids should get together and maybe marry.

Instead, it's the boy that ends up the best man, her the bridesmaid, to their grandparents' wedding.

Jenny

 

[loquere]

I have to admit: I've got a weakness for Hannibal Lecter/Joker (Heath Ledger version)-esque dialogues, where the character tells another person why they've failed as a human being. I know most high-schoolers aren't as eloquent as they are on TV shows, but perhaps at one point, he does this to the girl's idiot friends (specifically, the so-called "Alpha Bitch").

Basically, as he realizes that the love interest isn't playing around, naturally, the idiot brigade is completely unconvinced that her feelings are real. After all, there's NO WAY IN HELL this could be real. So he ends up verbally shutting them down with a "Reason You Suck" speech, leaving them emotionally shocked.

Unoriginal scene? Yes. Tears? Perhaps. Driven to suicide? Maybe not that far.

(NOTE: I know doing something like this is petty and shallow, but as a geek, I feel it's justified).

I undertood none of this.