Needs advice on orgasms

[southerngal22]

My ex never pleasured me so i've never experienced an orgasm and now my current boyfriend i think it hurts his feelings that he can't get me to orgasm and i know its not his fault and he knows that but if there is any advice i can get it would be welcomed.

 

[Reba67]

Have you tried pleasuring yourself where there is no pressure. A HUGE part of getting a woman to orgasm is mental, not physical.

 

[Bandit58]

My ex never pleasured me so i've never experienced an orgasm and now my current boyfriend i think it hurts his feelings that he can't get me to orgasm and i know its not his fault and he knows that but if there is any advice i can get it would be welcomed.

Southerngal, You must explore yourself to find what works for you!

I had never had an orgasm but did enjoy sex till I found I can have wonderful orgasms & now orgasm all the time.

Do you get in the mood before sex or is it spur of the moment sex?

Does your B/F use lots of foreplay before you have sex?

Do you have sex toys you use or both of you use on you?

 

[Experiencedguy]

A lot of guys just don't know how!! They understand what they like and enjoy, but don't understand what makes a woman get off.

Why don't you tell him (while in the act) what to do? May I suggest a mutual 69? And, tell him - higher higher right there.

Most (but not all) guys do want you to get off also. But if you don't tell them what they are doing wrong (or, could do better), they don't know, and aren't willing to explore.

Good luck.

 

[SweetErika]

I agree with Bandit: the responsibility lies with you.

Do you masturbate regularly? Have you tried vibrators (FWIW, the Hitachi Magic Wand isn't sexy or quiet, but it's a multitasker with the attachments and can help like 90+% of women who have never orgasmed)? Do you fantasize while you're stimulating yourself or being pleasured by your partner? Do you give your partner specific direction on what feels good (and doesn't)?

 

[kevin_1s]

Spending more time on foreplay helps a lot. Its never been good for the woman if you have 2 mins of foreplay, and the start penetration sex. Get your bf to spend more time on foreplay, and as others have suggested get him to go down on you.

Also you need to find out what gives you an orgasm, masturbate and find out what gives you the greatest pleasure, then get the bf to do the same to you.

With patience and practice you will get there

 

[VelvetSin]

Have you tried pleasuring yourself where there is no pressure. A HUGE part of getting a woman to orgasm is mental, not physical.

This. Until you know what it takes to get you there, few men will either. Unless you can relax, you probably won't climax. What it takes to get you relaxed will differ person to person so you need to find your own way there. Some people just need tons of foreplay, some people need to be tied down so there's no fighting oneself, some people need full control so they can decide what sensations they'll get, others need purely clitoral stimulation and penetration is too distracting, while others want/need a ton of penetration. One, more, or none of those may apply to you.

It sounds like your current boyfriend is open to helping you explore the possibilities, so talk with him and have fun exploring until you find what really works. But before you really go there, spend some alone time and figure out exactly how your particular body works. I second Erika's comment about the Hitachi Magic Wand. There are a few entire threads on various forums about the magical magic that imposing-looking device brings, but it's the best $45 ever spent. Simply unrivalled.

 

[Emerald_Lilly]

Do you masturbate regularly? Have you tried vibrators (FWIW, the Hitachi Magic Wand isn't sexy or quiet, but it's a multitasker with the attachments and can help like 90+% of women who have never orgasmed)? Do you fantasize while you're stimulating yourself or being pleasured by your partner? Do you give your partner specific direction on what feels good (and doesn't)?

Another vote for the magic wand .... toys help me experiment and figure out what i like.

 

[DeceptiveSpeed]

The lord helps those who help themselves.

Get good at masturbating and you'll be screaming thanks in no time.

 

[Saphs]

I think a vital part of being able to have good orgasms is knowing what parts feel really good to touch, and the best way to do this is invest in a little bit of you time.

Tell your boyfriend what feels good, the best orgasms I've ever had are when I've been able to communicate and tell my partner what feels good, to go a little higher, a little harder.

Good luck!

 

[yummycashews]

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[NippleMuncher]

I've always been too insecure to tell a guy it hurts, so I let him do it anyway and then we both lose.

Just say "easy, easy" or "lighter" or "gently", he won't mind - HONEST! He's grateful to be there and odds are he wants to please you with what he's doing.

 

[yummycashews]

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