Needing a female perspective.

[suit_up_si]

No offense, but this is terrible advice. She has made it beyond clear that she is not interested, at least not right now. Professing his deep feelings for her will only ensure that she never responds and will probably avoid him totally.

If he is to have any shot at this ever, he must show her that he is not the proverbial "dick in a glass case" (in case of emergency, break glass). He needs to take a step back, not make additional entreaties that will never, ever work.

I actually agree with you on this. I just can't allow myself to humiliate myself even more by telling her how I feel; she knows how I feel and she has chosen to ignore me. She may still be dealing with stuff but from the looks of her facebook she doesn't seem too cut up to me, why the fuck would you happily be tagged in photos with your ex? I'll just chalk this up to experience.

 

[Mac98]

I actually agree with you on this. I just can't allow myself to humiliate myself even more by telling her how I feel; she knows how I feel and she has chosen to ignore me. She may still be dealing with stuff but from the looks of her facebook she doesn't seem too cut up to me, why the fuck would you happily be tagged in photos with your ex? I'll just chalk this up to experience.

It's your call, dude. Just make sure this isn't your emotions talking. They'll really fuck with your head and make you see things that aren't there or make you not see things that are right in front of your face. I'm telling you. Don't make that mistake...

 

[suit_up_si]

.......................

 

[BluKitten]

Unfortunately I can't not let my emotions have a bearing on this, right now I'm at a place where I feel like I've been played/used whatever and now I've been discarded, I'm really not comfortable with the notion that she can just go cold on me like that, in fact I find it extremely distressing. I can't believe someone can do that. But hey I'm very naive.

Sweetie, how old are you? You are far too young to become this bitter. I am sorry she has been playing with your emotions, so! But you seem to be someone that cares and respects women deeply. Don't let the catty actions of one woman close you off!

Stop looking, go out and enjoy life. Try things you've never done before. Listen to different types of music. Taste different foods. Meet different people. Take a vacation!

Life is too precious and short to brood! When you least expect it, the right person will come into your life!

 

[suit_up_si]

Sweetie, how old are you? You are far too young to become this bitter. I am sorry she has been playing with your emotions, so! But you seem to be someone that cares and respects women deeply. Don't let the catty actions of one woman close you off!

Stop looking, go out and enjoy life. Try things you've never done before. Listen to different types of music. Taste different foods. Meet different people. Take a vacation!

Life is too precious and short to brood! When you least expect it, the right person will come into your life!

I'm mid twenties, it's hard not to be bitter or angry or upset. I've been knocked back in the past by girls I really liked nay loved but that was because they just wanted to be friends, nothing more.

This one sat on my lap, in my house and told me to tell her everything about myself because she wanted to have 'a night where we got to know everything about each other' and I did and so did she, I've told her things I've never told anyone and it didn't freak her out, she understood, she still wanted to be around me. If she'd have dusted then, freaked out by the stuff I told her I'd have felt a lot better than her just going cold for no reason.

 

[Mac98]

Unfortunately I can't not let my emotions have a bearing on this, right now I'm at a place where I feel like I've been played/used whatever and now I've been discarded, I'm really not comfortable with the notion that she can just go cold on me like that, in fact I find it extremely distressing. I can't believe someone can do that. But hey I'm very naive.

Then go ahead and let your emotions do the thinking. I'm sure it'll get you much farther than if you actually cooled yourself off and tried to go at this rationally. There IS the possibility that you were played but you're turning this into a certainty which it's not. You don't know what's going on in her head. You hurt over what happened yet instead of telling her about all this you're keeping it inside and it's turning you into the Incredible Hulk.

Who knows, maybe telling her how you feel about her and that you feel hurt and betrayed by the way she's treated you recently will open her eyes to how cold and/or mean she's been with you. Maybe not. But maybe so.

And embarassing yourself some more? Really? I think the embarassment should be the last thing on your mind right now. Who the fuck cares. Even if she laughs and giggles to everyword you say or write, at least it'll be off your chest. At least you'll have let her know and you'll have a definitive answer. Right now you're running into speculations and theories and letting your emotions consume you and con you into believing that they're all true and that you've been had.

Do what you want, suit, but I'm telling you that you have absolutely nothing to lose.

 

[Dr_O]

Then go ahead and let your emotions do the thinking. I'm sure it'll get you much farther than if you actually cooled yourself off and tried to go at this rationally. There IS the possibility that you were played but you're turning this into a certainty which it's not. You don't know what's going on in her head. You hurt over what happened yet instead of telling her about all this you're keeping it inside and it's turning you into the Incredible Hulk.

Who knows, maybe telling her how you feel about her and that you feel hurt and betrayed by the way she's treated you recently will open her eyes to how cold and/or mean she's been with you. Maybe not. But maybe so.

And embarassing yourself some more? Really? I think the embarassment should be the last thing on your mind right now. Who the fuck cares. Even if she laughs and giggles to everyword you say or write, at least it'll be off your chest. At least you'll have let her know and you'll have a definitive answer. Right now you're running into speculations and theories and letting your emotions consume you and con you into believing that they're all true and that you've been had.

Do what you want, suit, but I'm telling you that you have absolutely nothing to lose.

No offense, but given your thread, do you really think you should be giving advice on this topic?

 

[suit_up_si]

Then go ahead and let your emotions do the thinking. I'm sure it'll get you much farther than if you actually cooled yourself off and tried to go at this rationally. There IS the possibility that you were played but you're turning this into a certainty which it's not. You don't know what's going on in her head. You hurt over what happened yet instead of telling her about all this you're keeping it inside and it's turning you into the Incredible Hulk.

Who knows, maybe telling her how you feel about her and that you feel hurt and betrayed by the way she's treated you recently will open her eyes to how cold and/or mean she's been with you. Maybe not. But maybe so.

And embarassing yourself some more? Really? I think the embarassment should be the last thing on your mind right now. Who the fuck cares. Even if she laughs and giggles to everyword you say or write, at least it'll be off your chest. At least you'll have let her know and you'll have a definitive answer. Right now you're running into speculations and theories and letting your emotions consume you and con you into believing that they're all true and that you've been had.

Do what you want, suit, but I'm telling you that you have absolutely nothing to lose.

You're right I am doing a lot of speculating, but what am I meant to think?

 

[Mac98]

No offense, but given your thread, do you really think you should be giving advice on this topic?

This coming from someone telling him to treat her like an object

One can know it in theory and not know it in practice.

I've been through something similar before and the reactions he's having are reactions I've had many times... I think I'm suited to do so.

You're right I am doing a lot of speculating, but what am I meant to think?

It's in your right to think whatever you want to, but you don't know. You can't pretend you do because you don't. I'm not saying that she didn't play you or use you, what I'm saying, though, is that you don't know for sure.

You're allowed to be angry and feel hurt. It's normal. I'm just trying to tell you not to make the mistake of letting it consume you.

 

[Dr_O]

This coming from someone telling him to treat her like an object

You should go back and read what I posted. If you think that was my advice, you're really missing the boat.

But you're right, I should have addressed your post and not you personally. Your advice was terrible. Telling the girl how he really feels would be an unqualified disaster for OP. Luckily, he knows it.

 

[suit_up_si]

You should go back and read what I posted. If you think that was my advice, you're really missing the boat.

But you're right, I should have addressed your post and not you personally. Your advice was terrible. Telling the girl how he really feels would be an unqualified disaster for OP. Luckily, he knows it.

I'm just going to move on with my life, her actions speak louder than words. She doesn't want me, she may have done in the past but she doesn't now. I don't know why, and right now I don't care, telling her how I feel (which she already knows) would do nothing and I feel like I'm just clutching at straws right now.

The best thing for me to do is delete her phone number and remove her from my facebook. If she comes around someday, great but that's more a fool's hope, which I'm not going to cling to.

 

[Mac98]

You should go back and read what I posted. If you think that was my advice, you're really missing the boat.

But you're right, I should have addressed your post and not you personally. Your advice was terrible. Telling the girl how he really feels would be an unqualified disaster for OP. Luckily, he knows it.

A) Your choice of words were, in my opinion, a little disrespectful and tactless, but anyways... think of it what you will.

B) You seem to be the all-knowing king of advice on this exact type of situation so I'll let the OP listen to you instead. Let's see where that gets him...

I don't see what he has to lose. I don't see how his situation can be more of a disaster than what it already is, tbh....

 

[suit_up_si]

A) Your choice of words were, in my opinion, a little disrespectful and tactless, but anyways... think of it what you will.

B) You seem to be the all-knowing king of advice on this exact type of situation so I'll let the OP listen to you instead. Let's see where that gets him...

I don't see what he has to lose. I don't see how his situation can be more of a disaster than what it already is, tbh....

I do appreciate your advice man, I really do (not to keen on disaster haha).

I haven't agreed with everything Dr_O said, I'd say I disagreed with most of it. I do think however telling her something she already knows will do me no good, I really don't think it will change her mind.

 

[BluKitten]

I'm mid twenties, it's hard not to be bitter or angry or upset. I've been knocked back in the past by girls I really liked nay loved but that was because they just wanted to be friends, nothing more.

This one sat on my lap, in my house and told me to tell her everything about myself because she wanted to have 'a night where we got to know everything about each other' and I did and so did she, I've told her things I've never told anyone and it didn't freak her out, she understood, she still wanted to be around me. If she'd have dusted then, freaked out by the stuff I told her I'd have felt a lot better than her just going cold for no reason.

Oh sweetie, you are so very young yet, to be so miserable. Please, please, please go out and live! "Life is a banquet, and most poor suckers are starving to death!"

Besides, we've all gone through this heartache at one time or another. If you don't let it eat you up, your heart grows back bigger!

 

[suit_up_si]

Oh sweetie, you are so very young yet, to be so miserable. Please, please, please go out and live! "Life is a banquet, and most poor suckers are starving to death!"

Besides, we've all gone through this heartache at one time or another. If you don't let it eat you up, your heart grows back bigger!

Thanks, it's just difficult is all but I've been let down before, I'll get past this. I'm deleting her number, i don't really want to but I think it's for the best.

 

[suit_up_si]

She's still got my CDs, do I just let her keep them?

 

[BluKitten]

She's still got my CDs, do I just let her keep them?

If there aren't a lot of them, just let her keep them. Go get some new ones!

I think you should hop on a train and go someplace you have never been before! See something wonderous! Do something you've never done, because you were to afraid of what other people would think.

Your a great guy! Go let the world know it!

 

[Mac98]

If there aren't a lot of them, just let her keep them. Go get some new ones!

I think you should hop on a train and go someplace you have never been before! See something wonderous! Do something you've never done, because you were to afraid of what other people would think.

Your a great guy! Go let the world know it!

THIS!!

Although I don't think you should let her just keep your cds. If anything just ask them back (stating you'd like to listen to a couple of them). Let her have the one's you care least about but keep the one's you enjoy the most. Music, right now, will be your greatest friend.

 

[Dr_O]

A) Your choice of words were, in my opinion, a little disrespectful and tactless, but anyways... think of it what you will.

I think you're right about that, and I apologize.

B) You seem to be the all-knowing king of advice on this exact type of situation so I'll let the OP listen to you instead. Let's see where that gets him...

I'm definitely not all-knowing, and it's extremely hard to predict how a woman is going to react to anything, so it's quite possible that what I have advised is not the right thing to do.

However, I do know what is the wrong thing to do, i.e., expressing his feelings to her again when he has already done so and when she so obviously does not feel the same way. That will do him no good, and I am 100% certain of that.

A woman will often say she wants a man to express his feelings, but many times, what she means is that she wants him to express his feelings if he is going to say exactly what she wants to hear. That is clearly not the case in this situation.

I don't see what he has to lose. I don't see how his situation can be more of a disaster than what it already is, tbh....

He could still lose what's left of his dignity by groveling at the feet of a woman who probably already wishes he would leave her alone.

I hope OP has concluded that he needs to step away and let this breathe for a while, may be forever. Good luck, OP. Go find another bird.

 

[Mac98]

I think you're right about that, and I apologize.


I'm definitely not all-knowing, and it's extremely hard to predict how a woman is going to react to anything, so it's quite possible that what I have advised is not the right thing to do.

However, I do know what is the wrong thing to do, i.e., expressing his feelings to her again when he has already done so and when she so obviously does not feel the same way. That will do him no good, and I am 100% certain of that.

A woman will often say she wants a man to express his feelings, but many times, what she means is that she wants him to express his feelings if he is going to say exactly what she wants to hear. That is clearly not the case in this situation.



He could still what's left of his dignity by groveling at the feet of a woman who probably already wishes he would leave her alone.

I hope OP has concluded that he needs to step away and let this breathe for a while, may be forever. Good luck, OP. Go find another bird.

Apology accepted. I'll leave it at that. I'll only say that I feel it would at least get it off his chest. He's living with the torment of having his feelings mindfuck his brain. That sucks. I've done this before and writing the person a letter (she knew I had feelings for her and I was aware she didn't have them for me) made me feel a LOT better. I don't care if it was embarassing, it helped chase away a lot of the stuff I was keeping inside. It didn't fix everything, but it made it sting a lot less.

This is why I recommend it. But I won't push anymore. I wish the OP the best of luck and I hope he realises that there ARE plenty of fish in the sea, no matter how cliche and unnattractive that saying is...

 

[suit_up_si]

Thanks for the final pieces of input people, like I sad I appreciate all of it.

I'm done with this now, she's out of my life, so I'll draw a line under this.