Needing a female perspective.

[suit_up_si]

Removing this load of shite. I no longer wish to read it.

 

[sunandshadow]

You should send her little friendly/cheering notes every few days that don't require her to reply. When she feels like talking she'll reply to one.

 

[suit_up_si]

You should send her little friendly/cheering notes every few days that don't require her to reply. When she feels like talking she'll reply to one.

Ok, my worry is that she'll think I'm not giving her space or smothering her. Of course my main worry is that she's done with me. Or am I thinking too much about it?

 

[Lady Reiha]

Okay. It's called "Back the fuck off" in a polite way. She doesn't' want to offend you, but she finds you kind of annoying with the texts. Please understand that it takes some time for girls to bounce back from a break-up (does not matter how long she's been in it). When she's ready, she'll text you.

Just stop texting her and be patient and give her the time and space she needs.

 

[suit_up_si]

Okay. It's called "Back the fuck off" in a polite way. She doesn't' want to offend you, but she finds you kind of annoying with the texts. Please understand that it takes some time for girls to bounce back from a break-up (does not matter how long she's been in it). When she's ready, she'll text you.

Just stop texting her and be patient and give her the time and space she needs.

Yeah that makes sense, I will say though I haven't been texting her constantly, just twice.

 

[SydneyBlake]

Let me get this straight. You like her. Right? Then quit with the cowardly texts, call her, and ask her out. If she says anything but yes, then there's your answer and leave her the fuck alone. But you first need to grow some and get direct with her. Quit pussy-footing around. Trust me, that's a he'll of a lot sexier than "Duh, can I get my CD's?"

 

[suit_up_si]

Let me get this straight. You like her. Right? Then quit with the cowardly texts, call her, and ask her out. If she says anything but yes, then there's your answer and leave her the fuck alone. But you first need to grow some and get direct with her. Quit pussy-footing around. Trust me, that's a he'll of a lot sexier than "Duh, can I get my CD's?"

'Leave her the fuck alone'? That really does make me sound ever so slightly stalker-ish! lol. I'd like to make it perfectly clear I have not been hassling her in any way shape or form, I've text her twice in 3 weeks.

I do appreciate the rest of the advice but I know her well enough to know strong arming her won't work, I'll go with being patient. Thanks y'all.

 

[bookwormju]

I agree you should just be patient with her, let her know your available to talk to any time if she needs to then back off for a while.

 

[ponokadude]

You like her and you have put yourself out there for a helping hand. I think it may be time to let her go and see if she comes to you. If you are the only one initiating contact, you know she does not want to contact you. You obviously thought you were close friends before, but I think her actions should tell you what she thought of your friendship. Close friends reach out to each other in hard times.

I know you asked for a female's view point, but I was once in a similar situation myself, so offered my opinion.

 

[kiwi_submissive]

She could also be bombarded with sympathy the moment, contant texts from people offering support and shoulders to cry on, and if she has facebook then messages of support as well, probably dragging it out more than helping her get over it.

You have tried and she is probably overwhelmed at the moment, give it a couple of weeks then text her again, if still nothing from that, well give up.

 

[redhead84]

I would say with about 80% confidence that for whatever reason, she's just not that into you. Maybe she was before but she's not now, maybe she will be again later, but at this time, I'd assume the friendship (or possible relationship) is not happening.

 

[suit_up_si]

Ok thanks people, I'm just going to have to wait this out, if she doesn't get back to me then it wasn't meant to be (sound like some piece of shit rom com character there). Oh well.

 

[Miles Long]

If you like her, call her and ask her out. I agree with the earlier post - if she says anything but yes then you know how she feels. If she says yes you can take her out, and if she says no you can get on with your friendship knowing she's not interested in you like that.

 

[sophieprescott]

Slow your roll

Just looked at everyone else's reply. (sorry, new to the site). Agreed.
You've planted the "I'm available" seed. Now just stop and apply space.
Total rom com, and easier said than done sometimes, but drop effort until she starts efforting back.

 

[Holly1990]

I agree with most of the other replies, just back off and wait, certainly don't send messages every few days because she might start getting annoyed, she knows you like her so wait for a response!

 

[Hhot]

sorry - double-post....

 

[Hhot]

Getting to the heart of the matter, I'd ask why you really want to be with her first. Do you know her well enough to truly like her or is she a challenge because she's evasive? Did you like her when she was after you 24/7 as much?

Sometimes we want someone because they're not so available to us. Then there's that can of worms...

 

[jordansgirl74]

Let me get this straight. You like her. Right? Then quit with the cowardly texts, call her, and ask her out. If she says anything but yes, then there's your answer and leave her the fuck alone. But you first need to grow some and get direct with her. Quit pussy-footing around. Trust me, that's a he'll of a lot sexier than "Duh, can I get my CD's?"

THIS.

Her not remaining in contact but you said you've only sent 2....dude, she's getting other texts/calls from a guy or guys that are showing her their interest by sending her texts, not just the two you sent.

I agree with Sydney...text her something like: "Hey, so now that I know you're single, I thought you should know that I've been digging you, I would love to take you out....are you free on (2 days in advance)?" and then see what her response is.

Basically, you have nothing to lose. If she's not interested, she'll let you know, it doesn't sound like you're going to "just be friends" anyways, so GO. DO. IT.

A Woman,
T

 

[suit_up_si]

Thanks for your thoughts people. I'm still none the wiser and I still have no idea what I'm going to do but I appreciate the feedback.

 

[suit_up_si]

Fuck me, this is such bullshit. I'm so conflicted; I feel like I should pick up the phone and call her, because now I keep thinking someone will get there before me but on the other hand I keep thinking be patient, don't overstep, it's only been a month she's obviously not ready.

Call me a pussy, tell me to man up or whatever I don't give a fuck, because I can't sleep (yeah I know this isn't attractive, being all whiny, needy etc but I can't let her see it so it has to spill out somewhere!)

deep breath.

 

[bumlicker]

this is all bullshit

if you want this bitch go get her!! dont take no for an answer.let her know theres never a "good time" theres only now! have some balls will ya

 

[CurvAppeal]

I feel like she kind of used you as a rebound for a while until she felt okay enough to make it on her own. Sad to say, a lot of females, anyone rather, does that.

Unfortunately it has reached to that point. Just stop texting her, emailing her, talking to her period. If she wants conversation and you feel she is worth it, then respond. But she obviously wants her own time and space, give that to her.

=) Hope it all works out!!

 

[BertrandRussell]

... someone will get there before me ...

Ask her. NOW.

Quit reading. Put down the laptop or Ipad or whatever you youngsters use now, and do it.

 

[culloden]

Fuck me, this is such bullshit. I'm so conflicted; I feel like I should pick up the phone and call her, because now I keep thinking someone will get there before me but on the other hand I keep thinking be patient, don't overstep, it's only been a month she's obviously not ready.

Call me a pussy, tell me to man up or whatever I don't give a fuck, because I can't sleep (yeah I know this isn't attractive, being all whiny, needy etc but I can't let her see it so it has to spill out somewhere!)

deep breath.

Call her. It's driving you crazy. If she says yes, great. If she says no, at least you know and can move on.

Good luck.

 

[BertrandRussell]

Better yet, write a letter. You know - one of those old-fashioned paper things?

First, it will be unique. Nobody has probably ever written her one before.
Second, it will give her a chance to say yes at her own pace. The problem with calling is that she may want you too, but she might not feel ready right then, and say no just to avoid the tension.