Needin` some advice

[Mary Hall]

To cut a long story short there`s a guy i talk to online..we`re very close and talk about a lot of stuff, but things have gotten a little sexual now and then. I care about him a lot and miss him when he`s not online ( a computer problem has caused him to be largely offline since at least May 16th) a mutual online friend has recently told me that this friend loves me.

I guess i feel the same way, but he hasn`t told me how he feels himself. I don`t want him freaking out when he comes back online, we`ll talk about this situation.

How do i deal with this?

 

[Missingmeds]

Very carefully Mary. I might suggest asking him how he feels about you, but not to agressively. But you might want to take someone else's suggestion that has dealt with this before.

 

[Mskey]

like MM said, be very careful. Online relationships can provide a safety thru annonymity that doesn't always transfer well in RL.

 

[Guest]

 

[Bizkit_Writer]

Honesty is the best policy

 

[mystic_maiden32]

you have to be honest. go slow. The best relationships I have sen started out as friendships 1st.

Good Luck!

 

[BoredinCA]

About 8 years ago when I was going through a divorce I went into a chatroom and said hi to about 10 woman at once and waited for im's from the bored to come in... anyways to make a long story short she is now my wife and we have daughter together and I live over 3,000 miles away from where I did 8 years ago... anyways one of things that I thing contributed the most to this happening is that we were both painfully honest once we got to know each other and we both knew what we were getting into so to speak.... if you afraid someone might not like something about you then you should tell them up front and you should blunt with questions because basicly I think its better to ditch people early on rather after you get to know them really,really well. Anyways we had comuted that first year... I would spend four days one month at her place and then she would spend four days at my place and like I said after we got so that we liked each other then we were compleatly honest with one another and it really paid off. The relationship was so intense that seemed like the whole world knew about it and worked twords us getting back together. One time we had a goodbye in an airport that was so intense that it held up the plane for about 10 minutes. The plane actually left the gate as soon as my foot hit the doorway and they had actually kept someone online with the pilot to let him know when I hit the ramp... after the plane left a young minister had witnessed the goodbye and so I guess he and his family prayed for my then girlfriend and I which I guess turned into a huge scene because people that were waiting for another flight across the hall of the terminal joined in. Anyways the risk is really worth it .... it has been a rollercoaster ride and I cant imagine going through life without her... she really is the best and she makes love to me like no woman has even aproached. In otherwords.... be honest, take educated risks.... it pays off the worst that will happen is that you find out early that its not the right person or you may end up with the person of your dreams.

 

[Vixandra]

Once you're back in the groove of your normal chatting, ask him how he feels.
I say wait till then because springing it on him in a "bam- I miss you, do you like me?" type statement might shock/alarm/put him off. Or might not, depends on the guy, I suppose.
Or you could wait for him to tell you one is own, or tell him how you feel.
Good luck.

 

[SensualCealy]

GET HIS PHONE NUMBER!!!!
Only in capitals to make a point, if you feel you are in love, and you think he may feel the same way, isnt it about time you talk on the phone? You can get into a deep conversation and then ask outright, how he feels this relationship is going....

Best of luck, we are rooting for you!
Cealy

 

[Lancecastor]

Lose him like a dirty shirt.

He loves you...yeah, right. He loves you sooo much that he hasn't been able to get to an internet-connected computer in two months, but has the time to yap to a buddy about his alleged feelings for you.

Baloney.

He's probably married.

There's lots of fish in the sea.

Go catch a big juicy one and leave inconsiderate headfuckers like him in the dust.

Ignore him if he writes, don't reply to his friend.

 

[Nightblade]

Very carefully Mary. I might suggest asking him how he feels about you, but not to agressively. But you might want to take someone else's suggestion that has dealt with this before.

actually, Mary...your best bet would probably be to not take anyone's advice on this...think about it, why would you want to act on what someone else has to say about this?

if you have feelings, and if he has feelings, then the two of you will find a way to work it out...please, do yourself a favor and don't listen to anyone else...

only you and he can decide what's best...no one else can...

 

[Ravin the Poet]

GET HIS PHONE NUMBER!!!!
Only in capitals to make a point, if you feel you are in love, and you think he may feel the same way, isnt it about time you talk on the phone? You can get into a deep conversation and then ask outright, how he feels this relationship is going....

Best of luck, we are rooting for you!
Cealy

In this case my friend Cealy is right. I was in a Online relationship and what ended it was she got grounded from the computer so many times and never gave me her phone number so I could call. The phone will always be there, the net may not.

Ravin

 

[Mary Hall]

I have his phone number but i guess i`m too shy to actually call him...i doubt his mother would like to hear how her little boy has a female friend

 

[Jezebelle1458]

i'm with you on this 1 Lance.

 

[Mary Hall]

A little update


Well we had a long talk and are going slow just to see what happens, its not like we`re gonna rush into something or anything....we`re totally honest with each othr, that`s a good sign right?

 

[SensualCealy]

I would think that if you feel you are worried what his momma will think, you are pretty young yet.

In this day and age guys expect a woman to call, it isnt taboo to make a move, guys some times need a push in the 'right' direction.

One thing I live by is, 'You dont know if you made a mistake until you actually do something, and when you do, you learn something. If you haven't learned anything then you know you shouldn't have done it.'

Good luck and keep going forward, no looking back,
Cealy

 

[Mary Hall]

Well it seems that his family want us together so i guess that`s a good sign