need writters

[lilguy]

have a story in a chyhoo section of this site wondering if anyone could help

http://www.chyoo.com/dx/?dx=r&story_id=705&next_id=4701

kind of new to the writting thing

 

[WillowPuss]

A good idea ... but not for me. Sorry

(And ... please take this the right way ... I say this with kindness ... I feel that you need to read what you have written aloud to yourself. Some of the tenses are a little muddled.)

 

[cellis]

I hope for your sake KM doesn't see this.

It is really hard to read something that has mispelled words and the verb agreement is off.

Also you need to look at how you use the words "dominant" and "dominate". They are not interchangeable. They mean two different things.

My suggestion, and I am trying to be as kind as possible, is that you go back and read what you have written. Make some adjustments and maybe get an editor to help you. Then bring it back here to get suggestions.

 

[WriterDom]

If you have a specific question about bdsm maybe we can help. This isn't a forum for writing advice. I suggest you make it into a complete story and then get one of the lit editors to help clean it up. Then post a link in the story feedback if it's feedback you want.

 

[lilguy]

opps

sorry figure all the forums were about writting sense this is literotic. Didn't know it brance of into things about real world bdsm