need some help with this pleasure/pain thing

[Guest]

So i met this great lady and we are starting to have alot of fun. She is sexually more evolved than i am and i can see that she likes to cross that pleasure/pain line. This is new to me and im wondering if anyone can give me some tips on how to pleasure her this way.

TIA

VG

 

[SweetBrat73]

I suggest you visit the BDSM board. There are alot of ppl there that would be happy to help you out.


Brat

 

[Guest]

First and foremost, what you need to do is TALK with her! I know it's not sexually exciting to analize and talk out sex, but it really is the best way to get to know what your partner enjoys and likes. And, in the beginning, don't worry about being "out of character" (if she is into BDSM, D/s, Sadomasochism also). The beginning of something new, sexually, should be a time of open communication. Ask her if she likes what you're doing, ask if she wants you to spank her ass a bit harder, or whatever... Give her a safe word, also. This will enable her (and you) to be able to get into a more role playing field if it is desired. She could say "No, don't!" yet have it be a fantasy role play instead of real. But then, if she says "RED!" (or whatever safe word she is given), she really does want you to stop. Edge play of any sort can be tricky at times, and it's possible for her to get hurt in a way she does not want. It may not seem like the best way, but in this field you have to learn by trial and error. Good luck to you both, and remember the most inportant factor is OPEN COMMUNICATION!

 

[SexyChele]

Yeah, what Tiggs said!

Communication is very important in something like this. If your g/f has crossed the pleasure/pain line before, then she probably has a good idea of what her boundaries are and what areas she would like to explore. Talk to her - it does sound tedious, but it can lead to some very exciting places!

Listen to her cues and learn her body language. Try something. If she tells you more, increase slightly. If she tells you again, increase again. She will let you when you've reach the right area. For example: I love to have my nipples bitten - HARD! Most men who are not into BDSM think that I want the little nibbles that most women are into. I will encourage them to go harder and harder. The man who follows my cues is the one who just may be rewarded by seeing me orgasm through that alone. But the man who stops mid-way and says, "But I might hurt you....are you sure?" has just killed the moment for me.

Talking does a lot, and I strongly encourage it. But also keep in mind that she will tell you when you are truly crossing into pain. I encourage the use of a "safe word", as Tiggs suggested. I've never used one, as my partners came to know how my body reacted to the point where it wasn't needed.

Take it slow, talk to her, and learn how her body reacts.

Oh....and don't forget to have fun!

 

[schatz]

Ditto to the last two posts. I have learned what my wife likes through experimentation and talking. After 13 years together, we still talk about new things to try and what does and doesn't feel good. In the beginning, a safe word is essential and even after several years they come in handy. In the beginning I was always nervous about hurting my wife but after time I realized that she did enjoy it so I became less self-conscious about the whole thing. On a side note...the discussing of likes, dislikes and what-not can also lead to some great sex.

 

[petrel]

I suggest you visit the BDSM board. There are alot of ppl there that would be happy to help you out.


Brat

oh yes - and we are a nice bunch really, we don't bite unless you ask very nicely. You're lucky really a little while ago you would have had to wade through the moster thread for answers and now you have a whole board to post on

 

[Guest]

And yet, this HOW TO board still does the Q & A nicely...

 

[cymbidia]

Yep, still does Q&A nicely, Tiggs, but not on BDSM subjects.

Those are done far better with us in the BDSM Forum, in an attitude of open discussion, in a place of inclusion and acceptance, no matter what wild-west, chat-room type information others offer elsewhere here at Lit as Truth.


BDSM Forum
http://www.literotica.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?s=&forumid=26

cym
BDSM Forum moderator

 

[Guest]

Wild west chat room style, eh? So, are you saying because this person asked about the mix of pleasure and pain and because I answered this question in the How To board and because I am not part of "your" BDSM clique my answer is wrong?

 

[LeoMoonshine]

I am the original poster of this thread and have found your insight to be quite informative. Thank you!

The last thing i wanted to do was to cause a riff between boards here. I originally went to the BDSM board but since this is all new to me, i found it a little beyond what i could relate to as the leap is to big. No disrespect tended. After all,its the journey, not the destination, right?

Thanks again for the insight and Baby (if your reading this) you sure know how to push my buttons. I can only hope that our next time isnt a long time away. Your in my dreams.

LM

 

[Guest]

Leo...

Of course I'm following your post... it is about me - I certainly hope that it will be very soon when I get to feel your naked body against mine. And we will definately have to talk a whole lot more about how you are going to figure out this pleasure/pain thing... cause it isn't as hard as you think it is.

Love,
Baby

 

[SexyChele]

I just love a happy ending!! Good luck to both of you!!

 

[sweetlittleass]

Leo, my love

I hope your weekend went well and we are going to be together again soon.

I just wanted to say thanks to all those who posted in response to his question - thanks to you all, we are going to have a number of very interesting meetings!

I have one other question though... how do I get a pic posted here like everyone else? An AV I believe is what it is called...

 

[Guest]

I have one other question though... how do I get a pic posted here like everyone else? An AV I believe is what it is called...

After you reach 100 posts, you will be allowed to have an Avatar. And, it will be in the "Control Panel" (at the top of the BB's page) under the subcategory of "Change Options" where you can ad the Av. Any pic that is no lager than 150x150 pixels will work. Thumbnails on sites work wonderfully, or you can check out Need a pic resized for your Av? on the How To board.

Also, after just 30 posts, you'll pop that cherry of yours. Welcome to the registered word of Lit.

 

[sweetlittleass]

Thanks Tiggs!

Thanks so much Tiggs! I was wondering how long until I go rid of that "Virgin" status! But I have to do 100 posts for an Avatar?!? wow! I guess I 'd better get posing!

Sweetlittleass

 

[Guest]

Wow! I guess I 'd better get posing!

Since you only have two posts, yes, you'd better!!!

By the way, you're welcome.

 

[Mr.G]

YIIIPES

You said she was more evolved. Cute so she's a higher species? Kewl.

You said she was into the pleasure / pain thing.

What you didn't mention was WHOSE pleasure / pain??

BIG diff, buddy.

If she has stronger orgasms after a playful spanking - fine.

If SHE gets off ( juices running down her thighs, huge repeated orgasms etc etc etc) on turning your ass into chopped liver and you faint at the sight of a allergy needle..." we " MAY have a big ( BIG ) problem. Yes?

Please elucidate and we'll be more than happy to steer you in the WRONG direction.

 

[LeoMoonshine]

Mr G.

Love your "G-spot rub it hard and she will never stop cumming" discovery. I can tell that you are of a higher species also. I mean, you have to be from another planet to have the imagination to even think of that. Good for you. My "evolved lover" is destined for a higher realm of ectasy as soon as i get a grip on her G-spot. Gentle at the start and then rough, right? Man does that ever fit well with this topic. Love it when the planets allign like that.

As far as whose pleasure and pain, i believe we are both in that boat and as far as I know, its the BDSM lite version.

What part of the great white north you from? Im sure ive been there.

L.Moonshine

 

[Mr.G]

Leo, I'm from the center of the known Universe...Toronto.

If the both of you are into S&MLite try using orgasms as punishment. It is a unique form of torture. Once you master the technique you can take her past the ahh stage and all the way to the AHHHHH stage. You keep her going until YOU decide she may stop. It's like telling her she's going to get 20 spanks (the Lite version). ""Get upstairs and I want you ass up over those pillows. You're going to get 20 of the best!"

MAKING her have orgasms like that doesn't take anything away from the soft loving intercourse or oral ones you give her normally. It just for those FUN times changes the orgasm into something she must endure. FAST. HARD. INTENSE. REPETITIVE. RAPID.

NO MERCY!!

 

[sweetlittleass]

You guys are talking about me!!!

Hey Leo & Mr. G

I thought I should get in on this conversation... since it is revolving around me! I like your idea Mr. G about orgasms as punishment!!! That's a pleasure/pain thing I could really get into!

And Leo... can't wait to attain the higher realm of excstacy with you!!! I may just have to make that trip a whole lot sooner than I originally planned - how's this afternoon?

Love ya,
Baby

 

[LeoMoonshine]

Baby,

If you could make it down here this afternoon I would even be willing to call Mr.G on my cordless headset and have him guide me through your first 5 or 10 orgasms of his "multiple G-spot orgasm thing". Any orgasms after that would be strickly Leo induced unaided.

Love you too Baby


LM

 

[Mr.G]

OH!OH!OH!OH!OH!OH!

LM - waiting by the phone.

Actually I am hoping to hear back from a few people who hve tried this for the first time and it WORKS for them. On the other board I think there are three posts from members who just said, " Ya, know about it already and it works great." But so far nobody who has just discovered it thru my post on these discussion rooms. It would be nice to hear back from some of them. I said it has worked on the three women I've tried it on so it's worked 100% for me. I'm just wondering if it is universal for all women or some women have problems. I know everybody is different but if we found out it works for everybody and women could have as MANY ORGASMS as they WANT (or can stand) EVERY night - well there goes the GDP and Viagra futures!!

 

[LeoMoonshine]

Mr.G

Its so much better when you are trying something new that you have backup. Thanks.

Im feeling bad cause ive known about your technique for 2 days now and havent had the opportunity to try it. Of course I will do my duty and report back to this thread as soon as Ive tried. Frankly, Im a little scared cause once its tried and the word gets out, it could be Beatlemania all over again.

Then again, it could just be just you. Youve had 100% success with it on 3 woman. Well,(being the higher species that you are) maybe you just pick up the scent on which woman are capable of achieving liftoff through your method. For the sake of science, you have to cover all the angles.

Can you say Infomercial?

LM

 

[sweetlittleass]

Boys, boys, boys....

Well... you 2 certainly have been having a lot of fun talking about me, haven't you? Well, at least what's going to be happening to me!

Leo, I only wish that responsibility didn't rule my life, or I would be there with you this afternoon. Laying out in the sun on your trampoline... ass up in the air so that you can perform this wonderful act on me!

Love,
Baby

PS - Can I help with the Infomercial? lol!!