ramonathompson
Lit Bitch
- Joined
- Jun 30, 2006
- Posts
- 4,204
My agent has told me that I need to have someone look at this story and do some editing.
If anyone can help out please let me know.
Thanks. The story is below. Feel free to post your edits on the board for me to read.
The Adventures of Shawn the Little Black Dog
Starring Shawn the Little Black Dog in.....
Shawn Meets The Yellow Menance
by Ramona Thompson
Hello, my name is Shawn and I am a little black dog.
(picture-small, cute, fuzzy black terrier)
Recently, my family added a new member
They call her pretty kitty
I call her....The Yellow Menance
(picture-Laughing, large yellow cat with huge green eyes waving its tail)
Now I really must say normally that I am very easy-going little fellow.
Nothing bothers me.
Nothing that was until she came along.
Boy, I tell ya, that yellow menance has got to go!
(picture-Shawn putting the cat out on the doorstep with a free cat sign around her neck)
That yellow menance is eating all my food!
(picture-cat eating out of bowl marked with the name Shawn. Cat wears evil little grin)
She's playing with my toys!
(picture-cat tossing ball around. Ball is also marked with the name Shawn.)
She's even trying to take my humans away from me! That foul feline!
(picture-cat sits with family purring while Shawn sits outside in the rain growling)
The Yellow Menance may not know it yet, but this is war!
(picture-Shawn in puppy dog war outfit waving a banner that says "Go Away All Yellow Cats!)
Uh oh!
Now it looks I have an even bigger problem.
The Yellow Menance has made a new friend.
Mr. Squeaky Mouse.
(picture-cat and mouse shaking hands and posing for pictures together. Both are all smiles)
She gave him some cheese and crackers and it looks like they are the very best of friends.
Whatever is a little black dog to do?
(picture-Shawn pouts with head down. Gives the reader big puppy dog sad eyes)
I've tried everything to get rid of that cat.
I've stole her catnip, thrown water on her precious fur.
None of it has worked.
Now the family has put me out in the doghouse while the cat naps cozy by the warm fire inside.
(picture-Shawn sits mad in a large doghouse marked "Bad Dog")
I guess there's only thing left to say or do.
As the old saying goes.....if you can't eat 'em then join 'em!
(final picture-Shawn, cat, and grey mouse with all smiles with paws wrapped around one another.
THE END
2009 Ramona Thompson
If anyone can help out please let me know.
Thanks. The story is below. Feel free to post your edits on the board for me to read.
The Adventures of Shawn the Little Black Dog
Starring Shawn the Little Black Dog in.....
Shawn Meets The Yellow Menance
by Ramona Thompson
Hello, my name is Shawn and I am a little black dog.
(picture-small, cute, fuzzy black terrier)
Recently, my family added a new member
They call her pretty kitty
I call her....The Yellow Menance
(picture-Laughing, large yellow cat with huge green eyes waving its tail)
Now I really must say normally that I am very easy-going little fellow.
Nothing bothers me.
Nothing that was until she came along.
Boy, I tell ya, that yellow menance has got to go!
(picture-Shawn putting the cat out on the doorstep with a free cat sign around her neck)
That yellow menance is eating all my food!
(picture-cat eating out of bowl marked with the name Shawn. Cat wears evil little grin)
She's playing with my toys!
(picture-cat tossing ball around. Ball is also marked with the name Shawn.)
She's even trying to take my humans away from me! That foul feline!
(picture-cat sits with family purring while Shawn sits outside in the rain growling)
The Yellow Menance may not know it yet, but this is war!
(picture-Shawn in puppy dog war outfit waving a banner that says "Go Away All Yellow Cats!)
Uh oh!
Now it looks I have an even bigger problem.
The Yellow Menance has made a new friend.
Mr. Squeaky Mouse.
(picture-cat and mouse shaking hands and posing for pictures together. Both are all smiles)
She gave him some cheese and crackers and it looks like they are the very best of friends.
Whatever is a little black dog to do?
(picture-Shawn pouts with head down. Gives the reader big puppy dog sad eyes)
I've tried everything to get rid of that cat.
I've stole her catnip, thrown water on her precious fur.
None of it has worked.
Now the family has put me out in the doghouse while the cat naps cozy by the warm fire inside.
(picture-Shawn sits mad in a large doghouse marked "Bad Dog")
I guess there's only thing left to say or do.
As the old saying goes.....if you can't eat 'em then join 'em!
(final picture-Shawn, cat, and grey mouse with all smiles with paws wrapped around one another.
THE END
2009 Ramona Thompson
