Need help

[Stella_Omega]

If an abusive man threatened suicide..

my knee-jerk reaction would be to hand him the razor, or the pills, or the rope, or whatever.. and say "Here, have yourself a time" and walk away.

Is that wrong of me?

 

[zeb1094]

If an abusive man threatened suicide..

my knee-jerk reaction would be to hand him the razor, or the pills, or the rope, or whatever.. and say "Here, have yourself a time" and walk away.

Is that wrong of me?

No. Definately NO!

 

[R. Richard]

If an abusive man threatened suicide..

my knee-jerk reaction would be to hand him the razor, or the pills, or the rope, or whatever.. and say "Here, have yourself a time" and walk away.

Is that wrong of me?

It is a reasonable response. Unfortunately, if looneytunes actually does commit suicide, you are going to wind up having a long talk with the authorities. It is against the law to give the mentally unstable tools to do themselves harm. Be very careful!


JMHO.

 

[ABSTRUSE]

It is a reasonable response. Unfortunately, if looneytunes actually does commit suicide, you are going to wind up having a long talk with the authorities. It is against the law to give the mentally unstable tools to do themselves harm. Be very careful!


JMHO.

Who would tell?

 

[mismused]

delete

 

[Guest]

 

[zeb1094]

It is a reasonable response. Unfortunately, if looneytunes actually does commit suicide, you are going to wind up having a long talk with the authorities. It is against the law to give the mentally unstable tools to do themselves harm. Be very careful!


JMHO.

Hey if I just happen to leave a razor, minus my finger prints, laying on the counter and the fool picks it up and slits his throat with it where is my liability?

 

[Guest]

I was going to pm people for help but I don't have the internet and am on borrowed time......Not sure where to start...

I tried to break up with my bf and he became abusive. I'm staying at a friends right now but he keeps on calling me. This morning he showed up here(don't know how he found out where I was). He said that he was sorry about what happened and that it would never happen again. He said that he loved me and that he'd commit suicide if I left him. He even offered to get help.

At the moment I don't trust myself to make the right judgements. A part of me wants to believe him and the other part of me doesn't. I was going to go to the police before now I'm confused. I'm an emotional nutcase.

There is no... I promise not to do it again....
they will.... maybe not tomorrow... maybe not even next week
but they will do it again
if you can get away... do it
Him being able to track you down should be enough of a warning that he is resourceful enough to follow you

 

[kendo1]

Big Hugs Elfy.
Hope you are paying attention to all the good advice.
People don't change.

 

[R. Richard]

Hey if I just happen to leave a razor, minus my finger prints, laying on the counter and the fool picks it up and slits his throat with it where is my liability?

Abtruse:
Who would tell?

In every big city police department and some small city police departments there is an organization known as the Police Crime Lab [or some such]. If they get on a case, they determine to whom the razor/knife/rope/poison, whatever belonged. If it belonged to you, you will assume the role of swordfish in Snoopy's method of grilling a swordfish. The instrument may not have your fingerprints on it. However, it may have your hair, blood, sweat, etc. on it. You say, "Ha! I will clean it first." I say, "Ha! You will not clean it enough that a Police Crime Lab can't find something."

The Shadow knows! So does the Police Crime Lab.

What I am telling you is not theory. If the Police Crime Lab wants to know bad enough, they will find something. In the case of Richard Ramirez, The Nightstalker, they used some very advanced technology to pull a wiped off fingerprint from a car that The Nightstalker abandoned.

 

[zeb1094]

Abtruse:
Who would tell?

In every big city police department and some small city police departments there is an organization known as the Police Crime Lab [or some such]. If they get on a case, they determine to whom the razor/knife/rope/poison, whatever belonged. If it belonged to you, you will assume the role of swordfish in Snoopy's method of grilling a swordfish. The instrument may not have your fingerprints on it. However, it may have your hair, blood, sweat, etc. on it. You say, "Ha! I will clean it first." I say, "Ha! You will not clean it enough that a Police Crime Lab can't find something."

The Shadow knows! So does the Police Crime Lab.

What I am telling you is not theory. If the Police Crime Lab wants to know bad enough, they will find something. In the case of Richard Ramirez, The Nightstalker, they used some very advanced technology to pull a wiped off fingerprint from a car that The Nightstalker abandoned.

Well as long as I didn't put the damn thing in his hand or didn't draw it accross his throat for him or say something like 'Here, use this.' then I have committed no crime. I had no criminal intent, so no crime. I just placed a razor on a counter and left.

You watch too much TV.

 

[NoJo]

I was going to pm people for help but I don't have the internet and am on borrowed time......Not sure where to start...

I tried to break up with my bf and he became abusive. I'm staying at a friends right now but he keeps on calling me. This morning he showed up here(don't know how he found out where I was). He said that he was sorry about what happened and that it would never happen again. He said that he loved me and that he'd commit suicide if I left him. He even offered to get help.

At the moment I don't trust myself to make the right judgements. A part of me wants to believe him and the other part of me doesn't. I was going to go to the police before now I'm confused. I'm an emotional nutcase.

Woodnymph posted a very similar post to yours, some time ago. I don't know if she's still around (I haven't been around much either), but you could try digging up the thread there -- it might be illuminating to see it happening to someone else -- maybe it will give you a prespective.

I gave advice on that thread that she should get the fuck away from him as soon as possible, until she was able to be more rational. I'll give the same advice to you now.

 

[human_male]

Where do these whackos come from and how do they get chicks in the first place?

Yeah call cops, and don't go anywhere near him. Or, there's a cool book you might be interested in... Booby Traps and Improvised Anti Personel Devices. Make your problem go away.

 

[fairysong]

Thank you everyone

I think I just needed someone to be the voice of reason since I obviously am not thinking all that clearly.

I will try to move to a different place so that my friend won't have to deal with him. After school I'll stop by the police and see if I can file some sort of a report. I do need to get stuff from my place and I'll see if they can send a cop with me. Thanks for that advice Zeb.

Abs....I'll call you and let you know how that goes.
Auntie, Hugo, Fairy....I'll email as soon as I get a chance...am between classes at the moment.

Thanks so much guys.

Be sure to tell them everything that's happened starting with the incident that caused you to decide to break up with him, his reaction and then his suicide threat. I agree with everyone that the threat is just that a threat, an attempt to mess with you some more and make you feel guilty. Don't you dare fall for it, Moonie.

Go to the cops, get your stuff, and find someplace safe. I'll be waiting for the email....no rush, just let me know when you can. Take care of yourself and be safe.

Fairy

 

[SeaCat]

Elf,

A little advice from me.

Get the fuck away from him and stay away, no matter what it takes!

Okay, now I want you to run, don't walk to the police. This dude is not to be trusted. As has been said above his threats of suicide are a ruse, a way of manipulation. He is trying to make you feel guilty for what he has done and what he may well do again. Get this documented then get away from him.

Please, I pray from the bottom of my heart that you follow the advice of the people here. We, none of us, want to see yu hurt nor do we want to see you go through this. You have offers of help from other people, and I will add mine to the list. If it is an ear to bend, or a place to hide let me know.

Cat
JK

 

[Boxlicker101]

Moonie, everybody is on your side and we are all saying the same thing. Call the cops on this jerk and then stay away from him. I don't know if a restraining order will do any good or not. By itself, it would not deter him, but it would mean some kind of an official status and it would make him subject to arrest if he tries to stalk you any more.

He's not going to commit suicide; that is just an attempt to manipulate you. You know him better than anybody so you should know that already.

 

[yui]

No new advice here, Elf, I just wanted to tell you to be safe, and be smart, until you can get some emotional distance. It hurts. It sucks but try not to fall back into old patterns just because he’s the devil you know, the one you loved … or might still love. You are not responsible for his happiness or his actions. It’s a mantra, “I cannot be responsible for this.” Just keep saying it.

If I can do anything for you, please don't hesitate to let me know.

Peace and love,

Yui

 

[R. Richard]

Elf:
There is a problem here. I told you to call the police and several other did as well. Calling the police is a good and necessary step. However, the police do not like to "get involved" in domestic disputes. Under the law, they do not have to get involved in domestic disputes.

I am assuming here that your boyfriend could mop up the ground with you in a physical attack. I would strongly suggest that you find out what is necessary to obtain a permit to carry a concealed weapon. If and only if you are sure that you can and will use the weapon, get one and get trained to use it. The life you save may be your own.

In such circumstances I always advise the lady to first fire a warning shot. The best location for a warning shot is right between the abuser's eyes. With my method, a second shot is rarely necessary.

JMHO.

 

[Boxlicker101]

Elf:
There is a problem here. I told you to call the police and several other did as well. Calling the police is a good and necessary step. However, the police do not like to "get involved" in domestic disputes. Under the law, they do not have to get involved in domestic disputes.

I am assuming here that your boyfriend could mop up the ground with you in a physical attack. I would strongly suggest that you find out what is necessary to obtain a permit to carry a concealed weapon. If and only if you are sure that you can and will use the weapon, get one and get trained to use it. The life you save may be your own.

In such circumstances I always advise the lady to first fire a warning shot. The best location for a warning shot is right between the abuser's eyes. With my method, a second shot is rarely necessary.

JMHO.

He's right about the cops hating to get involved in a domestic dispute. However, since you are not married, this may not qualify. In any event, get your complaint into an official form. This may be necessary subsequently, and it is never a bad idea.

As for carrying a gun, only do this if you are willing and able to use it. Firing a warning shot between the eyes may not be a good idea. A shot to the heart is just as effective and it is an easier target.

 

[ABSTRUSE]

Hi all.
I spoke with Moonie tonight. She is safe as of now and has made a police report, tomorrow she goes to get a restraining order. What that involves in her state, I'm not sure but it's a step...a very important one.

She asked me to send many heartfelt thanks to all the people that put out their show of support and love.

She will be busy with school and preparing what to do next. I'll keep everyone posted as to how things are going since her internet access will be limited for a while.
Abs.

 

[Boxlicker101]

Hi all.
I spoke with Moonie tonight. She is safe as of now and has made a police report, tomorrow she goes to get a restraining order. What that involves in her state, I'm not sure but it's a step...a very important one.

She asked me to send many heartfelt thanks to all the people that put out their show of support and love.

She will be busy with school and preparing what to do next. I'll keep everyone posted as to how things are going since her internet access will be limited for a while.
Abs.

I'm sure she already knows this but her ex will know when and where she goes to school. If she can, Moonie shoud make it a point to arrive there with a group of other students. The same would apply to going to work.

 

[ABSTRUSE]

I'm sure she already knows this but her ex will know when and where she goes to school. If she can, Moonie shoud make it a point to arrive there with a group of other students. The same would apply to going to work.

Not to worry, we covered all of that.

 

[Belegon]

Elf:

It's all been said already. but I still wanted to let you know that I too am thinking of you and sending all the strength and positive vibes I can your way. Be safe.


Bel

 

[ABSTRUSE]

bump for the next shift.

 

[matriarch]

Great to hear she's safe and done the necessary deed.

Hopefully, this should shock the little fucker into a realisation of just what he has done. But I doubt it. The mould is probably set for the rest of his life. God help any other women he gets his talons into.

Please send my love, and auntie hugs.