Need help

[moonlight elf]

I was going to pm people for help but I don't have the internet and am on borrowed time......Not sure where to start...

I tried to break up with my bf and he became abusive. I'm staying at a friends right now but he keeps on calling me. This morning he showed up here(don't know how he found out where I was). He said that he was sorry about what happened and that it would never happen again. He said that he loved me and that he'd commit suicide if I left him. He even offered to get help.

At the moment I don't trust myself to make the right judgements. A part of me wants to believe him and the other part of me doesn't. I was going to go to the police before now I'm confused. I'm an emotional nutcase.

 

[ABSTRUSE]

I was going to pm people for help but I don't have the internet and am on borrowed time......Not sure where to start...

I tried to break up with my bf and he became abusive. I'm staying at a friends right now but he keeps on calling me. This morning he showed up here(don't know how he found out where I was). He said that he was sorry about what happened and that it would never happen again. He said that he loved me and that he'd commit suicide if I left him. He even offered to get help.

At the moment I don't trust myself to make the right judgements. A part of me wants to believe him and the other part of me doesn't. I was going to go to the police before now I'm confused. I'm an emotional nutcase.

Honey. He's a stalker. He's not going to change or stop. You are not to blame for his threats of suicide...that is a ruse.
PM me if you want to talk on the phone.

 

[Colleen Thomas]

I was going to pm people for help but I don't have the internet and am on borrowed time......Not sure where to start...

I tried to break up with my bf and he became abusive. I'm staying at a friends right now but he keeps on calling me. This morning he showed up here(don't know how he found out where I was). He said that he was sorry about what happened and that it would never happen again. He said that he loved me and that he'd commit suicide if I left him. He even offered to get help.

At the moment I don't trust myself to make the right judgements. A part of me wants to believe him and the other part of me doesn't. I was going to go to the police before now I'm confused. I'm an emotional nutcase.

Do not get back with him. The threat of comiting suicide is an attempt to manipulate you. It's a sure sign there is no real remorse there. busive people don't change overnight. And I'm sorry is akin to I'm sorry I got caught.

I know it's rough, but chalk it up to a learning experience and stay away from him.

*HUSG*

 

[moonlight elf]

Honey. He's a stalker. He's not going to change or stop. You are not to blame for his threats of suicide...that is a ruse.
PM me if you want to talk on the phone.

i was hoping that you were around

thanks

 

[sophia jane]

Contacting the police is an excellent thing to do, Moonie. Do not fall for manipulation. Be strong and know that we are behind you.

 

[LadyJeanne]

If you don't feel safe, then yes, definitely go to the police.

The suicide thing is a manipulative ploy to win your sympathy. If he's promised to get help, great. Don't believe him until he's actually getting help.

Take care of yourself, sweets. Protect yourself. That's the most important thing.
Don't give him a chance to hurt you again.

 

[rgraham666]

Just echoing what the others are saying, elfie.

The man's a manipulative scumbag.

Call the cops. Do not interact with him in anyway. Keep as far away from him as you can.

Wish I was close enough. I'd be over in a shot. He'd have to come through me first.

*HUGS*

 

[ABSTRUSE]

You have my number now...so when ever you are ready, I'll be here.

 

[~photoguy~]

GO to the police.. now! Do NOT have any contact with him, MOVE to a different friend's place if possible. Just know that Everything he says to you is a lie, attempting to manipulate you, get you back in his clutches .. do NOT fall for it

Be Safe ... this will pass

 

[zeb1094]

Moonie,

Just hoping you are well and echoing the rest. Don't go back to him. You broke up with him for a reason, is that reason still valid? Do you really believe he will change? Do you really think he will take his own life?

Don't talk with him. If he keeps coming to where you are have the persons who's place it is call the police and make complaint about him distubing their peace and simple tresspass.

If you have to go back to get your stuff, call the police to have them meet you there. Tell them he will be violent and that you are afraid for your life and need to retrieve your property. They will send an officer over to help you with him. Take friends, and a video camera, film everything that happens. Usually, with the camera rolling, nothing will happen, especially if there is police officer there also. Not only does it give the bf pause it will force the officer to do his job in case the bf talks him into being on his side.

Be well little elf. Be safe.

 

[lil_elvis]

Be afraid, be very afraid.

But don't let that prevent you from getting on with your life. Lots of good advice above. Take it.

 

[hugo_sam]

Elfy,
Most has been said before by the others. Do call the police. Seriously consider getting a restraining order against him.
The suicide is just a ploy and threat to cause you to return
The is never any excuse for abuse.
thoughts and well wishes go out to you.
Call Abs. DO what you need too, keep your self safe and away from this nutcase, completely.
*Grizzly Bear Hugs*
Hugo

 

[TheEarl]

Good advice above and haven't got anythign extra to add. Just sending a bit of support and the offer of an open PM box.

The Earl

 

[ABSTRUSE]

Have to pick up the cherubs from school, but will have my phone with me.

 

[Penelope Street]

I was going to go to the police before now I'm confused. I'm an emotional nutcase.

Being an emotional nutcase strikes me as a big reason to go to the police rather than a reason to avoid them. Every ounce of intuition says the entire "I'm gonna kill myself" routine is just another angle, and a common pathetic one at that.

Above all, it's your life you need to worry about. Ask yourself "What made me an emotional nutcase in the first place?" and is it not obvious what the answer, and solution, must be?

Please don't be shy about asking openly if you need something- you might be surprised how many options you have if you but allow your friends the privilege of helping.

Take Care,
Penny

 

[matriarch]

You already know my suggestion, sweetheart.
I echo everyone else.

Do NOT interract with him in any way whatsoever. Go to the police, don't be swayed by 'friends' who don't believe, or any of his manipulative crap about being sorry, or committing suicide. He lies.

I repeat. GO TO THE POLICE. NOW.

 

[R. Richard]

Let me echo the advice you already received. Don't meet with him. Don't talk to him. Do call the police. If he threatens to commit suicide, try to get something binding in writing.

JMHO.

 

[matriarch]

Moonlight, when you next come back on line, your box is full, you need to clear some space.

Mat

 

[Boxlicker101]

I was going to pm people for help but I don't have the internet and am on borrowed time......Not sure where to start...

I tried to break up with my bf and he became abusive. I'm staying at a friends right now but he keeps on calling me. This morning he showed up here(don't know how he found out where I was). He said that he was sorry about what happened and that it would never happen again. He said that he loved me and that he'd commit suicide if I left him. He even offered to get help.

At the moment I don't trust myself to make the right judgements. A part of me wants to believe him and the other part of me doesn't. I was going to go to the police before now I'm confused. I'm an emotional nutcase.

Whatever you do, DON'T BELIEVE HIM! He is lying to you about committing suicide and about changing, especially if he is repeating his actions. If he has tracked you to one place, it might be a good idea to go somewhere else, for your own safety and for the safety of your good friend. His unwanted phone calls and the fact that he came after you constitute stalking and the cops know what to do about that, if they only will.

Good luck.

 

[hotchkiss]

Just want to echo everyone elses comments. Whatever he did I dont know but if he is trying to threaten suicide to get you back he's clearly screwloose.

Walk away girl!

I know it may hurt but worry about yourself not him!

 

[moonlight elf]

Moonlight, when you next come back on line, your box is full, you need to clear some space.

Mat

going to clear box, Auntie

 

[moonlight elf]

Thank you everyone

I think I just needed someone to be the voice of reason since I obviously am not thinking all that clearly.

I will try to move to a different place so that my friend won't have to deal with him. After school I'll stop by the police and see if I can file some sort of a report. I do need to get stuff from my place and I'll see if they can send a cop with me. Thanks for that advice Zeb.

Abs....I'll call you and let you know how that goes.
Auntie, Hugo, Fairy....I'll email as soon as I get a chance...am between classes at the moment.

Thanks so much guys.

 

[~photoguy~]

good luck Ms. elf ((huggs))

please take all the good advice above and stay safe

never go near him without a cop present

 

[ABSTRUSE]

Thank you everyone

I think I just needed someone to be the voice of reason since I obviously am not thinking all that clearly.

I will try to move to a different place so that my friend won't have to deal with him. After school I'll stop by the police and see if I can file some sort of a report. I do need to get stuff from my place and I'll see if they can send a cop with me. Thanks for that advice Zeb.

Abs....I'll call you and let you know how that goes.
Auntie, Hugo, Fairy....I'll email as soon as I get a chance...am between classes at the moment.

Thanks so much guys.

Damn, my timing sucks........I'll be around love. Stay strong.

 

[Boota]

Elf,

It looks like everyone was on the same page, and so am I. The only thing I will add is that if the police won't send a cop with you, don't go over there alone. The police will generally go with you upon request, but if for some reason they don't, only go with a large group and be prepared for trouble. I've had a lot of experience and this sort of thing and it can get very bad if you let it. Be careful.