I could use some more advice here.... I think my finace' is bored with me. Let me explain. When we first started dating she put alot more effort into her appearance, she also was alot more vocal and outgoing in our sexual adventures. Our sex life is still active and we still enjoy spending our time together, it is the little things that I have noticed. She doesn't react like she used to when she sees me, she makes hardly any noise during sex, and she resorts to masturbation more often than she used to. I am not sure what I am doing wrong, but I am sure that she is slowly getting bored with me. I have tried different sexual postitions, shared both our fantasies...nothing seems to work. I am begining to think that it is me that the problem, as of late most of my friends have abandoned me and disappeared as well.
Need Help
- Thread starter Kemet
- Start date
Willing and Unsure
Stuffed Animal Princess
- Joined
- Apr 4, 2001
- Posts
- 8,654
the thing I would recommend is to talk to her about it. I think that would be the best bet for you. There's no real way to know what's on her mind unless you do talk to her. And dont attack her either, just approach her with an "I've noticed some changes" type of approach and let her know that you just want to make sure that there is nothing wrong or bothering her. Also consider mentioning that you'd like to know if there's anything that you're doing that may be causing the problems.
Oh, sad.
I feel for ya, Kemet.
Maybe it is impending wedding stress giving her cold feet. Maybe work is hellish and she is just tired? Maybe she is complacent and taking you for granted.
There are a lot of possibilities, and I agree w/ W&U (hi, sweetness!) that the best thing to do is to talk to your fiance.
Good luck, dude.
I feel for ya, Kemet.
Maybe it is impending wedding stress giving her cold feet. Maybe work is hellish and she is just tired? Maybe she is complacent and taking you for granted.
There are a lot of possibilities, and I agree w/ W&U (hi, sweetness!) that the best thing to do is to talk to your fiance.
Good luck, dude.
curiousjen
Really Really Experienced
- Joined
- Jul 28, 2004
- Posts
- 410
I agree with everything thats been said above except that i'd like to add that what you are going through is VERY COMMON and to be expected to a certain extent. I'm not saying it happens to everyone, but i have certainly noticed a difference in how i reacted to my SO when we were first together (weak at the knees and heart all aflutter every time he walked in the room, mad passionate kisses every 2 minutes) we still have great sex lives, but its not the same as it was in the beginning, and for us as it is for most couples it never will be that intense and sexually charged as consistantly as it was back then...of course there are moments...but not all the time...you have to get on with normal life!
Maybe what she needs is a sort of sexual revolution, it seems like things have got a bit stale for her. Why not buy her some erotica, or give her vouchers/encouragement so she can chose her own. Maybe even bring her here, get her reading some of the stories and then talk about it together.
I know it had a big effect on me
Maybe what she needs is a sort of sexual revolution, it seems like things have got a bit stale for her. Why not buy her some erotica, or give her vouchers/encouragement so she can chose her own. Maybe even bring her here, get her reading some of the stories and then talk about it together.
I know it had a big effect on me
DirtyJJ
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Aug 9, 2003
- Posts
- 534
Kemet,
When I first read this I remembered that you started a thread a while back about not wanting sex or not feeling like having sex or something to that effect. That other thread, coupled with the statement you made about your friends abandoning you too, makes me think there is something else going on here. Are you feeling anxious or down or uneasy about things right now and your relationship in particular? If so, it might color your whole outlook on the situation. It's true that what you described is pretty common, unfortunately. As time goes on the initial thrill changes and becomes different and often less intense. But if you are not feeling good about things in your life in general, it will feel like the problem is that much bigger.
I agree with the others that the best thing to do is talk to her. The approach W&U recommended is a good one. You need that open and honest communication now and in the future you will have together.
Best of luck and let us know how it goes....
JJ
P.S. - We are going to have to fight for the title of Master Thread Killer - I thought that was me!
When I first read this I remembered that you started a thread a while back about not wanting sex or not feeling like having sex or something to that effect. That other thread, coupled with the statement you made about your friends abandoning you too, makes me think there is something else going on here. Are you feeling anxious or down or uneasy about things right now and your relationship in particular? If so, it might color your whole outlook on the situation. It's true that what you described is pretty common, unfortunately. As time goes on the initial thrill changes and becomes different and often less intense. But if you are not feeling good about things in your life in general, it will feel like the problem is that much bigger.
I agree with the others that the best thing to do is talk to her. The approach W&U recommended is a good one. You need that open and honest communication now and in the future you will have together.
Best of luck and let us know how it goes....
JJ
P.S. - We are going to have to fight for the title of Master Thread Killer - I thought that was me!
Last edited:
It is true that I am feeling really down about my life in general at the moment...although I have figured out what was the problem with me not liking sex, lol. My depression can at times color my outlook on things, I am working on this. I have talked with her and she insists that nothing is wrong, but I can't get over the feeling that something is wrong, either with her, or with the situation.
And at the moment I do not post often enough to kill enough threads lol. When/if my posting picks up we can fight over that title.
And at the moment I do not post often enough to kill enough threads lol. When/if my posting picks up we can fight over that title.
Willing and Unsure
Stuffed Animal Princess
- Joined
- Apr 4, 2001
- Posts
- 8,654
have you told her how you feel about everything when you talk to her? sometimes telling her your feelings will open up a door. if she still insists there's nothing wrong, then I would suggest doing something out of the blue to make her feel extra special. Just something that will really stand out to her that you do love her more than anything.
